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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my baby girl (8) may have ADHD or a form of it?

68 replies

BloodyEnderDragons · 28/12/2015 20:26

Sorry not to post in children's health, I really would like this to be seen.

My daughter has always been active, never sitting still for two minutes, on the go. We get so frustrated trying to talk to her as she bounces about all over the place, hops, wriggles a leg...something. Always always moving. At the table we're hot on table manners but she can't sit still. She moves to the side of the chair, to the edge, back to the back, turns round, legs up, legs down. She will eat her dinner but argh she's a fidget.

We encourage things like mad half hours (just a crazy run around), she's active (dancing, cycling, running (generally), good with walking, frequent swimming).

When we keep on at her to keep still, she really does try but something has to be moving, or she's running/jumping about.

Watching tv she won't sit still and has only ever sat through a handful of films (that was due to the popcorn more than anything else) as she loses interest.

Her mind is amazing. Her imagination is astounding and her reading/writing level is almost two years above average so she's been able to concentrate enough to learn at school. Although the teacher says she gets so excited about a task she rarely waits for the instruction to end before she's off trying to complete it because her mind is already spinning with ideas, so she often does the wrong thing to begin with.

We used to say she was hyperactive, a ball of energy. We mentioned it to her paediatrician once (who she sees because of skin issues) who told us to wait until she got older. She was about 4/5 at the time.

The ONLY thing that stops her moving about is minecraft. She's on the iPad playing it whenever she can. We limit the time but sadly it usually results in emotional outbursts. She is absorbed into it. She talks about it all the time, she's a big chatterbox and doesn't stop often! We allow 2 hours on a weekend day and 45 minutes on a week day. It seems a lot to me but she cries and throws these odd emotional outbursts if we tell her to finish it sooner than that length of time. When she's not playing it, she's watching videos about it, doing the Lego, reading the books/magazines and thinking about it.

There are other interests, but it takes a good bit of effort to divert her attention away from minecraft first.

Like I mentioned she talks at 100 miles an hour, all day long! Unless she's on her game.

She's our eldest child, I don't know if it's a normal 8 year old behaviour or not.

Can anyone just advise either way please?

I really am reluctant to think this way but I can't help it now. I don't like to jump into thinking it's adhd just because it's in the media and so discussed these days. Which is why I've maybe left it so long.

OP posts:
MyLifeisaboxofwormgears · 28/12/2015 22:30

Try de-stimulating her environment and simplifying her diet. She may simply find her life too complex and she copes by creating a huge personal narrative (the constant talking) to blot most of it out. Remove lots of choice and variety - she may need fewer items in her daily life (my friend's baby was very hyper - she used to have to feed him in a corner facing away from the room if they were with other children - he just couldn't cope with eating and the movement of others, he still requires a lot of quiet now)
I'd also cut out any computers after 7pm to settle the brain better.

Someone else also mentioned a physical activity to channel the physical restlessness - this may help as well.

You could also try getting a meditation CD for children and letting her listen to that rather than play on a computer. I used that for DD to get her to calm down at night.

RubbleBubble00 · 28/12/2015 22:32

I would only peruse a diagnosis if you are having severe behavioural problems at home and issues at school.

With things like digital devices I find a timer useful as they can see the time, I also give 15mins, 10mins and 5 mins warning - has reduced the strops.

I was very sceptical about medication and was really pushed by our psychologist after putting it off for a year but if been amazed at the difference it has made. We only use it for school but ds can now use his super fast brain as he couldn't sit in his chair for more than 5 mins before

cece · 28/12/2015 22:36

I have two DC with a diagnosis of ADHD. They present very differently. There is no one way to have ADHD.

The elder of the two was diagnosed mainly as he was such a poor sleeper. We went to the hospital where he was a diagnosed with ADHD - it had not even entered my mind that that was what was stopping him from sleeping! He has a few issues at school with blurting out and talking a lot but generally copes Ok ish with school. Since his diagnosis he has developed his own strategies to help with his sleeping problems. He really helped him to know why he couldn't sleep.

My youngest has quite significant problems at school, where they employ a TA to help him manage his behaviour. He is much more impulsive - which leads to violent outbursts and poor choices. At home I follow 123 Magic behaviour programme and he is also medicated. Things have got much better.

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep · 28/12/2015 22:46

medicine for adhd is really helpful. don't dismiss it as drugging a child.

what is she like with cafeine? does it send her more whappy or calm her down?

is she really bendy. bendy hypermobile kids can not sit still.

RubbleBubble00 · 28/12/2015 22:50

I second 1,2,3 magic

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep · 28/12/2015 22:50

ps don't rely on school being able to spot it. I have had two schools miss ds's autism... despite himn having a diagnosis. teachers are not trained in sen. they can dismiss it as a parenting issue not a sen issue or just the personality of the child or the family background. also in a lcass of thirty it can be easy to miss the subtle manifestations of issues or not make the connections as one is busy teaching.

BloodyEnderDragons · 28/12/2015 22:52

Oh, 123 Magic I will look that up thank you. Never heard of it.

She isn't super bendy, just normal bendy I'd say.

OP posts:
BloodyEnderDragons · 28/12/2015 22:53

BlackEyed I don't know what effect chocolate has really, I've never thought of it as making her go crazy, into overdrive or super-active.

OP posts:
CherryPits · 28/12/2015 22:56

Bloody - I have to watch my DD's sugar intake, she's a lot more sensitive to it than anyone else in the family. Over Xmas she and her brother made a gingerbread house, she took one bite of it and then ran around the house shrieking "sugar, sugar, sugar!" as a joke but it was actually affecting her like that.

Hetty3838 · 28/12/2015 23:07

DD struggled in a major way at school. They send questionnaires, called Connors forms to home and school they both have to be a certain mark to be put on the pathway for adhd. Contrary to what people believe it is not easy to get a diagnosis. Conners forms were sent, then an invasive chat with camhs, then they observed her in school, then she had this testing which involved having something in her head measuring something whilst she completed a computer programme, met about 5 more times then diagnosis took 2 years. She honestly can't concentrate on anything , her memory is a major issue every time she learns something she forgets everything else, she is verbally impulsive but not impulsive like running in front of cars impulsive. She has had many accidents though for not seeing danger ahead. She has only recently been diagnosed with HF ASD , I think the two often overlap. She finds school painful and is sent out every few minutes to break it down or she becomes like a pressure cooker! she is 14 and has still never watched a whole film. she has no fear which is the scariest part and tries to play school police - taking on bullies etc with no thought or care for any consequences it may have for her. She won't do the sensible thing and tell staff she wades in .

mathanxiety · 28/12/2015 23:20

A book that was originally published many years ago might be interesting for you, given that she has a skin condition.

If you can lay your hands on a copy, try to buy Doris Rapp's 'Is This Your Child?' It is long (>600 pages) but worth it.

Definitely a very holistic approach. Dr Rapp focuses on allergies and sensitivities to food and environmental elements.

LittleMissChatter · 29/12/2015 08:40

Why do you want to keep her still? Try and channel her energy. I come on the net a lot otherwise I could talk from morning until night. I speak very fast. I often talk to myself so as not to annoy anyone.

I move constantly, write scruffy and sometimes rush off before getting the full instructions. However, I also have lots of friends and am the life and soul of the party. I can also do more than most people and am a high achiever. I don't think you can change who she is.

LittleMissChatter · 29/12/2015 08:41

Search for Dabrowskis overexcitability

LittleMissChatter · 29/12/2015 08:44

You say your daughter is intelligent and I think it is something to do with it. I skipped a school year aged 5 as I was so far ahead. If you get her into something she likes she will zoom ahead. It's called hyperfocus !

LittleMissChatter · 29/12/2015 08:53

One downside is she might get anxious. I think I was born anxious, but I think lots of thoughts very fast. My mind has so much it wants to think about that your dd might be prone to periods of anxiety.

She will grow out of the monologuing, although I didn't until my mid 20s with my friends. When she wants to speak it is like a physical urge. I often feel like I could explode if I don't! I find being on the Internet and talking when I am alone/in the car helps me.

I am very attracted to spontaneous behaviour, which has meant I have had interesting experiences. I might be anxious but there is very little I won't try.

Ttls172126 · 05/04/2020 01:07

My son has it hes now 17 iv always told him it's a good thing and will learn to deal when older, now my daughter age 6 been diagnosed with it, iv noticed both sexes are very temperamental and sarcastic but take everything you say to them personally always watch what you say even in temper as they will never let it lye. They cant take a joke and hate arguing. No filter on what they say can only try to explain to them what they should of said, my lad is amazing going to uni high grades they can go very far with understanding. There's a book called only a mother could love him helped me understand him more easy read can get on ebay

lborgia · 05/04/2020 03:12

OMG, I'm afraid you've really opened the lid for all the helpful theories to come falling out OP!

Yes, she could well have ADHD, and no, that level of persistent animation, and lack of impulse control isn't because of sugar. If it was, you'd get big surges of hyperactivity, and then slumps when she's hungry. Patently not the case if she's fidgeting the moment she sits down to eat.

Meanwhile, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking medicine if it means you can harness your abilities, and end up focusing on dull but necessary stuff.

Hyper focus (the ability to stay on task when it's something you are really passionate about) is also a classic sign of several kinds of neurodiversity, so that wanting to stay on screen, play minecraft is entirely reasonable.

We used 123 magic with our NT child with great success, completely pointless with our neurodiverse child.

Meanwhile, the ability to mask and compensate is far greater the brighter the child, but over time it will probably start to slip as expectations become greater.

The MOST important thing is to try and keep positive. Years and years of being chided and berated for something you cannot help, well it is crushing.

There are a huge number of resources, try the ADDitude magazine website.

It will give you more than enough sane, medical/academically sound information, and 1st person experience, to proceed in a loving, and practical way.

Wishing you and your beautiful daughter every success in navigating this!!

Benzer01 · 17/07/2020 13:08

OP, I know this is a Zombie thread but wondering if you ever did pursue a diagnosis for your DD & how it went? This sounds so like my DS.....

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