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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if someone is driving somewhere do you give them petrol money?

48 replies

kittypaws · 28/12/2015 20:13

my friend invited me to lakeside shopping mall tomorrow, we live in north london and i said i'l come, she is driving. Do i give her petrol money since i'm coming along?
I was thinking of maybe buying lunch but its her and her dd.
What do you do in these types of situations?

OP posts:
witsender · 28/12/2015 20:14

Pay for parking?

arethereanyleftatall · 28/12/2015 20:14

Always offer it.
Then see.

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2015 20:15

How far is it?

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 28/12/2015 20:15

I'd buy coffee.

Hopefully she invited you as she enjoys your company rather than save on petrol costs.

Postitblue · 28/12/2015 20:18

Offer a coffee by way of thanks. If she asks for petrol money it won't be much from n London (40 miles round trip?). Parking is free X

absolutelynotfabulous · 28/12/2015 20:18

I'd insist on making a contribution if it were me. Even if it's not far. She's doing you a favour, even if she's going anyway.

Grilledaubergines · 28/12/2015 20:18

Whoever is the passenger pays for parking or coffee and cake etc.

Unless it's a trip to the other end of the country when we go halves and the driver gets a bunch of flowers too for getting us there in one piece

TwatTheNinja · 28/12/2015 20:18

I would offer, if she refuses, offer lunch or a coffee

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 28/12/2015 20:56

When my friend had a car I'd periodically race her to the till pay for a tank full of petrol and always shout lunch or some such. That's just how it worked with us though, I was always grateful that she didn't mind having company in some shopping jaunts :)

TheWitTank · 28/12/2015 20:58

I do, yes. A few of my friends refuse, but I will then pay for the parking/lunch/drinks.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/12/2015 21:06

I tend not to do petrol costs. I tend to make sure it all evens out. Like I gave a lift to my friend without a car a few times but her DH works in McDs and hooks us up with the toys! So it all works out. I alternate lifts with most friends.

lanbro · 28/12/2015 21:09

Never taken petrol money from anyone since I was a poor student but a coffee is always appreciated!

Gliblet · 28/12/2015 21:13

I don't drive so am always pathetically grateful to be given a lift somewhere out of town/unusual/fun! I usually say 'so am I chipping in for petrol, or buying lunch then?' Or something along those lines.

Alicewasinwonderland · 28/12/2015 21:13

I always offer, pretty much everybody refuses, so I then offer coffee or something similar.

Piffpaffpoff · 28/12/2015 21:14

Depends. If it's someone I go out with regularly, we tend to just take turn about driving. If I was going somewhere far away that was more of a one-off, I would offer money and if it was turned down, I would pay for lunch or something.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/12/2015 22:16

I go our regularly with my friend who always drives, but won't take money for fuel so I buy her a drink or dinner if go out.

BMW6 · 28/12/2015 22:24

Always offer, if refused buy the coffee and lunch.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/12/2015 22:26

Offer, if she refuses, get her a tea/coffee/hot choc

expatinscotland · 28/12/2015 22:29

Offer and if she refuses then buy her a coffee.

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 28/12/2015 22:41

If I take someone with me somewhere that I am already going, I would be gobsmacked to be offered petrol money!

If I invited someone somewhere and offered to pick them up, I would be gobsmacked to be offered petrol money!

If someone then offered coffee/drinks etc, i would see that as the start of a reciprocal thing and would expect to buy the next round.

Windingstreamswithoutends · 28/12/2015 22:44

No, if you are two reasonably well off earning adults I wouldn't offer petrol money. That's something students do. Offer to buy lunch or something though - it's the kind offer to take you that you're repaying for not financial loss

Arfarfanarf · 28/12/2015 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arfarfanarf · 28/12/2015 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manyaroad · 28/12/2015 23:17

No, I used to but it was always turned down and feels embarrassing for both of us. I'd rather pay for lunch or coffee. Although as a Londoner I often find being offered a lift more hassle than just taking public transport on my own, which wouldn't cost anything more for me anyway, so I usually refuse to accept.

PagesOfABook · 28/12/2015 23:18

Depends how far it is - if it's only up the road then no need but it might be nice to pay for parking