WIBU not to hand over insurance details?

[MinistryofRevenge]

About nine o'clock last night, there's a loud knocking at my door. DD goes to answer it, and standing on the doorstep are a man, a woman and a teenage girl. The woman says something to DD along the lines of "had she found it difficult parking the car" - I went to the door, because I was in fact the person who had parked the car and so best placed to answer, and it transpires that these are new(ish) neighbours who had parked in front of the house yesterday afternoon. Not a problem, there was space for me to park between their car and my next-door neighbour's because I'm brilliant at parallel parking so I'd parked in the space available.

The woman then asks for my insurance details. I asked why, and she told me that I'd damaged her car. I'm pretty sure I'd not touched her car, though I was parked very close to it.

She then said that if I didn't want to give insurance details, then we could sort it out privately. The reason I didn't want to give insurance details was because I hadn't damaged her car - I'm certain I would have noticed if I had touched it. The man (who I guess was her DH) said that if I didn't want to sort this out with them, he'd have to report me to the police as a hit and run driver - I told him to do so, because if their car had been damaged, I'd rather go through proper channels.

So, WIBU not to give details? Normally I wouldn't have an issue with this, but they were acting strangely aggressively - not just the turning up mob-handed on the doorstep late at night, but the woman in particular loudly repeating questions like did I find it difficult to park, do I have parking sensors, why did I park so close to her car, do I generally just damage other peoples' cars and drive off (I walked back into the house after this last one, and they spent another five minutes ostentatiously taking photos of my car). It may well be that the front of her car was in fact damaged (though I didn't investigate - I didn't notice anything wrong with it when I was taking the shopping from the boot of my car, but I had no reason to inspect it closely), and if someone has hit her car, she's perfectly within her rights to want to have the damage repaired. But the whole episode felt a bit off; if they think that I was responsible, wouldn't it be more "normal" behavior for one person to just come to the door, say that they thought I'd reversed into the car, and exchange insurance details, without all the posturing, loud accusations and strange questions?

It may just be that they've put my back up with their strange behaviour, and I'm happy to give my insurance details, but tell my insurance company that I'm confident I haven't hit their car, and leave the two insurers to sort it out between themselves, but I'm wondering whether I'm being set up to take responsibility for some pre-existing damage. Just the way that she opened the conversation with "did you find it difficult to park" and the constant questioning. I work in financial crime, so I'm possibly a bit cynical. WWYD?

Have been out to look at car. She and her DD were getting in it, so didn't have chance to take photo. There is a white mark, in exactly the same shape as my towbar fitting, on the underside of her front bumper. So either someone drove into someone else yesterday, or it's been carefully scratched to make it look as though it was.

I'm still not convinced that I drove into her rather than vice versa, though. First, the mark is on the underside of the bumper; last night when she came shouting the odds, the cars were no more than six inches apart. Unless she'd already moved the car, there's no way that mark could have been seen (if it was there at the time). If the mark was there last night, and she saw it before she came around for my insurance details, then she would have had to have moved her car, looked for the mark with a torch (no street lighting) , then moved the car back into its original position, six inches from my back bumper. Now, you wouldn't go to that sort of trouble unless you had a reasonable expectation that there would be a mark there, would you? And you certainly wouldn't then take pictures of the way the cars were positioned to bolster your claim (which they did)?

Also, the bit of her bumper which has the mark on and which lines up with the fitting for the towbar is a good three or four inches further back than the main part of her bumper - and there's no mark on the bits of the bumper which protrude further forward, and which would line up with the actual towbar. Similarly, the actual towbar on my car protrudes a good three or four inches further out than the fitting. So it's difficult to see how that mark could have been made by a collision between the two cars without taking a gouge nearly a foot deep out of her car.

Anyway, was going to tell her that the insurance companies could slug it out between them, since they've got technical experts, but I didn't bother because she told me that I'd be hearing from her insurance company and that I'd also be hearing from the police, as she'd reported it because I'd refused to do so.

Am going to ring my insurer and let them know the score. And in the unlikely event that the police come calling, I'll point out all of the above discrepancies, and her inept attempt at extortion, and let them make of that what they will.

Am not a great believer in karma, in the sense of getting your comeuppance, but seriously, can't imagine being so grasping as to manufacture an insurance claim.

I bet you were a little too close and they hit you car trying to get out of the space. Felt justified because you were very close and decided to blame you.

Yes, state very firmly that you did not, in any way, hit her car.

Do not voice any of your oh so reasonable concerns, she isn't. Just be clear, you did not hit her car she will get money from your insurance if you play nice and reasonable, like a mature, fully reasoning adult. Again, say you definitely did not hit her car and you will not admit liability to doing something you did not do.

Take pictures of her damage as soon as you can, I doubt the police will arrive, there is nothing to report.

That sounds dodgy based on your description of the mark. I doubt that the police will be interested.

Yes I think they hit your car.

I would have slipped into the conversation that you work in financial crime!

Something definitely doesn't sound right about her side of the story I hope it gets sorted.

Unless they are stating that they actually saw you reverse into their car, they haven't got a leg to stand on. More likely damage has been there for ages and they only noticed it when they had a careful look after you parked closely. If they put it through their insurers, more likely than not they will send an engineer out to look at both cars. But this will not prove it was your car. Forensic engineers cost at least £1000 and no insurance company will incur that for a small knock. I would write down as close as you can exactly what was said last night.

Tbh at this point I would consider calling the police myself and reporting them for this. It sounds like they are attempting a shake down and are still hoping you will play ball. Very odd behaviour.

What quietbatperson says. Please do tell your insurance people that - it will bolster your side of the story. They sound like scammers to me. Hope you get it sorted - who needs this shit ffs!

Even if all this is true, a mark isn't damage and doesn't require fixing

So what the fuck are they hoping to gain from this, ?

very dodgy, I'm sure u would know if you had hit their car. don't play ball.

have any of ur other neighbours seen anything?

There's no way the mark could have been made by her manoeuvering out of the space; it's a sort of imprint, rather than a scratch, the sort of thing you'd get if you drove straight into something. If I were to speculate, I'd suspect that one person parked the car, leaving in it first gear, then the other decided to move it without realising it was already in gear, and it leapt forward a few inches.

XH had a habit of leaving cars in gear (came from a hilly town, so there was a reason for his habit) but I never did, so I've been in the position of getting into the car after he'd parked it and getting a nasty shock. Fortunately, I've never hit anything as a result, but it's alarming how much force is behind that intial lurch forward.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, they may genuinely believe you did it.

They have nothing at all to gain from making such a huge fuss over such minor damage.

If you found your car had the imprint of a tow bar on the bumper and you were parked behind a car with a matching toe bar, what would your assumption be?

That they had bumped me or I them. But I wouldn't demand, bluster and threaten with my DH as my wingman.

Your insurance company may want to settle in a 50/50 basis as for such a small claim it's ot worth them fighting it. My insurance company once bullied me for months saying I had to agree to such nonsense after someone reversed into then side of me!!

However they need your permission and you just need to keep refusing to allow it as your premiums will be affected, etc.

"Tell your insurance company that you are concerned they are trying to commit insurance fraud, and that they tried to extort money from you."

I would do this

Soup I agree, she may genuinely have thought I'd hit her. I equally genuinely believe I didn't - but really, turning up at the door mob-handed and shouting the odds isn't the way of sorting things out. I'll avoid her - and her car - in future.

Am leaving it with the insurance company now - I doubt the damage will be more than my excess in any event, so that's a couple of hundred quid, and I'm in the fortunate position of being able to afford that. My thinking is that I'll mentally write off the £250 excess, and if the insurer agrees that it wasn't my fault, then I'll hand it over as a donation to the local food bank, so someone will gain (and hopefully not the narky neighbour). I've got protected no claims bonus, so am hoping that there won't be a huge hike in my premiums.

However, have checked my policy and it shows my old address - I'd updated the house insurance details when I moved house, but the car policy still seems to be showing the old address - it was an automatic renewal and I just didn't check. I can't remember at all if I've told them over the phone, but the internet documents show the old house. My fault entirely on that, and I'll have to hope that they'll be understanding!

If there was a car less than six inches behind you didn't you struggle getting your shopping from the boot?

Good luck.

theres no proof it was you.
The police wont do anything.
I have had someone hit my car, drive off, i followed him, he eventually got out, took his photo because he wouldnt give me his details and this was in 2013 and the insurance are still dealing with it and police wrote to me saying there is no proof so they couldnt do anything.
dont worry about it.

Op do not ring your insurance company and say anything, you wait until they contact you (if they do) and then you explain whats going on.

Yes, Alice, I did struggle. It was only a bottle of milk and a carton of cream, and they were tucked in at the side (it's an estate, and has sort of restraining nets at the sides of the boot), but I had to do a sort of one-legged lean over whilst hanging on to the roof bar. With hindsight, that was probably a sign that I should have moved the car forward a few inches.