to ask is it normal for a 13 year old to know what they want to do when they grow up?

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DS1 is in year 9 and has to make his GCSE choices soon. He's been asked several times recently (by teachers, family, friends etc) what he wants to do when he grows up. He has absolutely no idea.

I thought it was normal not to know, and all he has to do with his GCSE choices is keep his options open. However, I am beginning to wonder if I am mistaken and most 13 /14 year olds do have a future career in mind that they are working towards?

Personally, I didn't find out what I wanted to do until I'd left university and had been working for about three years and it was a job that no one in my childhood world would have even heard of.

My year 9 has been told by teachers to have an idea and pick gcse options based on this.
She is going to do subjects that keep her future options open though. You don't really need gcses in subjects like business studies, media etc to work in these areas.

oh dratsea, what is it?

I was absolutely sure what I wanted to do at 14, but a week's work experience in that industry cured me at 17

I'm doing a vocational type job now, but it wasn't my vocation until I was well into my 30s and I'm damn lucky to have got another chance.

My daughter always wanted to be a nurse, that's what she does
My 2 sons really had no idea and both changed careers, one in early twenties and the other at almost 30
Both have really good jobs now and love what they do
If you had asked either of them at between 13 and 18 what career they wanted then neither would have said the jobs they now do

Dd (18) has known since she was 7 what she wants to do and is still doing all the right things to head towards that goal. Ds (15) has no clue and I think that is far more normal! I didn't know when I left university what I wanted to do and sort of fell into my work by accident. I think the key, as others have said, is to not close off anything that could be of interest so focus on the subjects he enjoys and does well at.

I'm 32 and still don't know what I want to do!

At that age I think I wanted to be a solicitor or a professional show jumper.

Not many people choose a career and stick to it throughout their lives. I think the most important thing is to get good grades and school then doors can open through university or apprenticeships

I might be wrong about this - very happy to be corrected, but it seems to me that in the mid-80s all I had to do was do well at school, get into university and then choose a career. As long as you didn't want to do anything vocational - like be a doctor or a solicitor - then it was possible to get into any career after you graduated.

Now, the world seems really different. In the 1980s, 7-8% of school leavers went to university and a tiny proportion of those received first class honours - about 1 in 15 in my year.

So, back then about 5 in 1000 of the population got first class honours. We all had our tuition fees paid and we all got some sort of grant.

Now, 49% go to university, and 20% get a 1st - so 100 in every 1000 get a 1st but there are no grants and it costs £27,000.

So, there's a lot more competition for good jobs and its harder to differentiate yourself. Students work for free as interns and they have to make their CVs interesting.

I don't know how to guide DS through all this. He's academically able but I am lost. I guess if he knew what he wanted to do, it might help. Maybe that's why others seem to know.

Ds1 chooses his options in year 8. They have had careers talks at school mainly to open their eyes to just how many jobs there are out there and all the unseen ones. The school offers lots of vocational choices as well as academic subjects. It's outstanding and the pass rate for GCSE is high too.

But Ds is concentrating on his strengths, because at the end of the day all anyone cares about is the grade on your paper. I do understand you can't waltz into engineering if you have taken art and drama but at this stage he is to choose a language and a humanity. That is it. They are the only rules.

They also get 4 options. So he is choosing what he loves and what he is good at.

My son is in Y9 and has only the faintest idea of what he wants to do (it will undoubtedly be something engineering/ physics related as those are his interests - but exactly what is still a long way in the future).

Even my daughter in Y11 only has a vague idea (biology - possibly medicine).

Fortunately mine are in the French system so choices and specialisation are still some way off. DD will do a "science Bac" starting next year, but in France you don't drop any subjects, so there is no real closing of doors at 13/14 or even at 15/16.

The reason at DSs school you can't do both history and geography is to keep your options open. Make sure you do lots of totally different GCSEs.

Very annoying when you know you want to do an academic job.

Cross posts, I don't know if this will help you or scare the shit out of you but Russell Group uni has done a reverse engineering thing so if you want to be X you do Y at A level and ABCD and GCSE. here

I have an English degree and never used it, got an office job I loved that was well paid. Dh has an engineering degree but went into IT.

I think there is a bit more pressure these days to know things way in advance. For example my dd is in yr 7 and they keep talking about what results she can expect at GCSE if she carries on as she is. To me that's stupid, so much depends on how you do on the day of the exam.

While it's true a first class Hons doesn't lead automatically to a great job these days, coupled with a good attitude it certainly gives you a good head start in the job market.

I knew what I wanted to be at 12, and that's what I now have a bachelor's degree in :) Normal for some!

What sort of career advice do they get now? We had none at my school and I had no idea what I wanted to do. Wasn't even aware of half the jobs around that actually existed . Try to keep them broad choices and focus on the core exams I would presume? Support him thoroughly in English, maths and science.

My son is currently only 6 but I think I would try to get him to focus on English, maths and science (leaning more toward maths and science) and try to encourage him to do a maths and chemistry a level, as well as something else he enjoys. I could be completely wrong but would think those two a levels pretty much keep the door open to anything you would like to do?

Maybe I am clueless (I ran away half way through my a-levels and want so much more for my ds) but I just ask him which subjects he enjoys. Whether that is art or maths. Surely work is easier if you enjoy it? whether that be caring for someone, sweeping the streets or working in the city.
I think we can be guilty of overthinking it for our dc. We all want them to do well and to be happy.
Some people need to do lots of jobs (as previous posters have mentioned, jobs they would never have considered at school) to find out what they enjoy and where they find their passion.
This is why my 16 year old is job hunting not just to earn money to try out different things, he helps coach a junior football team, he is trying out different things. Gawd I hope that makes sense!

As an aside, did anyone else do one of the online career choice programs at school and the result came out funeral director or traffic warden? I alwawys thought they were fixed to push the jobs others never considered but now I actually quite like the idea of working in a funeral parlour!

OP you sound fine, involved and concerned but not pushy. Your ds will figure it out.

I didn't find out what I wanted to do until I'd left university and had been working for about three years and it was a job that no one in my childhood world would have even heard of.
same here, so we have always encouraged the DC to be open minded and flexible.
At their school there are limited options at GCSE which makes it easier - ie everyone has to do al the sciences, at least one language, at least one essay subject and one of drama, DT, art or music.
Steer away from 'vocational' subjects - eg law, business studies, sociology, catering & hospitality etc. Even if you want ultimately a career in one of those, far better to do solid academic facilitating subjects.

I knew I wanted to be a "scientist" by the age of 7 or so. That crystalised into astronomy for a long while then broadened into physics and in the end I did both physics and medicine (crazy me, definitely! but also lucky to have the chance - lived at home while at uni too). However moving into the research career I had always identified has completely failed, I've very slowly realised that teaching is what I love, and currently doing a mixture of tutoring and music teaching!

My 13 year old year 8 daughter has no idea what she wants to do either; she's having to think about some goals in order to make sensible conversation in scholarship interviews next term - but to be honest I haven't a clue which direction might suit her either, music, science, humanities lots open.

My 10 year old son I've got more ideas about, but more that I could imagine him ending up in certain careers (music or engineering based mostly!), than any sense that he will definitely do x or y.

My professional musician sister did a year of medical school before she committed to music.

I think the critical thing about GCSE choices is having an awareness of not closing doors, and doing an adequate range of subjects at the right level to provide the groundwork for the next steps. The less academic a child, the more important making the right choices at this stage might be I suspect. With a more academic child just make sure they are not being diverted into "easy" options that would restrict A level or uni choices excessively.

"Keeping options open is a lot harder than it looks when the school only allows 9 GCSEs and chooses 5 of them for you"
That's really normal - dd will effectively only get 2 options (plus triple science which is 'strongly encouraged' for top set).

Even if you 'know what you want to be' age 13, it doesn't mean that's what you'll end up doing! I wanted to be a journalist from age 10 onwards until I got to uni. I've had two different careers, neither remotely related to journalism.

I think when teachers ask the question, it's more about figuring out general strengths and interests. DD thinks she might like to be a maths or science teacher. Obviously she doesn't know all the various options open to her, but she enjoys maths/science and likes communicating things/ideas to people, so that helps choosing options.

The other point I make (frequently) to dd is that it really isn't the end of the world if you change your mind. SiL didn't take A level biology, then decided she wanted to be a doctor. She did have stellar A levels, so she took a little time out, took an extra A level and worked in an old people's home - and got into medical school, I suspect a more interesting and better prepared applicant. I know lots of other people who've taken subjects they 'missed' at evening class when they realise they need them, as an adult you work hard because you're motivated, plus you've already got the essay writing skills etc from the GCSEs you did do, so it can actually be quicker/easier.

I think most DC don't really know what they want to do at that age and even if they do it's likely to change.
The pressure gets even worse at a level selection time. I would focus on what your ds does best and enjoys the most. I know others disagree and think you should be looking at Russell group requirements from a young age but I think you are setting your DC up to fail if you don't think about what they will do well in before what the requirements in the future might be.

Entirely normal. My dd does know what she wants to be but year eight form teacher said she was suprised at parents evening about it as most have no idea. She was a year ten form teacher previously.

My 13 year wanted to be a policeman for several years. He then did one of those career quizzes at school, and realised there were a lot moe options out there for him, and is know not sure. My 16 has an idea know, but didn't have an idea in year 9.

I was thirteen when I decided what I wanted to do, did my degree in that area and still work in that field nearly thirty years on. But I know I'm an anomaly . I did choose my GCSEs and A levels with this in mind, but kept quite a broad base in the process so it wouldn't have limited my options if I had changed my mind.

I agree with OP that it's a very different landscape now. The sheer numbers going through puts a lot of additional pressure to do internships etc, but that can be very limiting for those on a lower income and they're very competitive in my area as well. A lot of pressure.

IME (I left 6th form in 2012) GCSE's aren't as important as A-levels or equivalent... At 13 I wanted to be an actress and picked studies accordingly, I picked psychology as a "filler" choice because I didn't want to do anything else in that block. It turned out to be my favourite lesson and what I went on to study at uni... Let him pick a range of subjects and he can figure out what he enjoys best from them before sixth form/college comes around
For most kids this is a chance to do subjects they've never tried before so how would they know if they'd enjoy them? Uni don't really care about what subjects you do at GCSE as long as you have Maths and English above a C, its the sixth form subjects that matter and this is a chance for him to try out what he might like to take further

annandale I would have done degree in Botany, then a PhD or Masters in forestry then run a few forests for HMG, become director thereof and about age 50 taken redundancy, as cost saving measure, of course, and downsized to my favourite forest and done a bit of a David Bellamy for 10 yrs before collecting my enhanced Gov pension and perhaps setting up a consultancy and perhaps wild mushroom educational business. Until I was 30 I hated standing in front of an audience but gradually the skills came and by the time I retired from NHS age 60 was a very confident speaker and educator.

Some do some don't, but it's fair enough to ask because if they do then you don't want them cutting themselves out of it by poor option choices.

Dsis knew at 5yo. I didn't.

Ds is 8yo and has planned his career since he was 3yo... Join Raf, be in the Red Arrows, upon retiring join the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight to fly the Spitfire.
I don't know whether it will be at all achievable, but he told the consultant at ENT when he was 5yo (glue ear) and he made a big note on top of his medical notes so if decisions need to be made which could effect his hearing permanently then that is considered.
However dd1 and dd2, both at secondary, vaguely say teacher I asked, neither of whom do I think will when it comes to it.

I did from 13/14 (solicitor) and did work experience at that age which confirmed it.

I know at my school all those years ago we had to do what is now called english bacc so everyone had to do maths, english, 3 sciences, history or geography, modern language and one actual choice from the last column (I did Latin) At the time I thought it was unfair as I would have preferred more choices and less compulsory but it kept options open. I got the chemistry prize at school for best chemistry result wheras I could have easily dropped it age 14 left to my own devices.

I'd agree with avoiding weaker subjects if he is academic. There seems to be bragging rights for children doing vocational subjects. So and so really wants to be a laywer she is doing law gcse when in reality she should be doing traditional academic gcses.