3 complaints about the IL's. AIBU?

[GenevaMaybe]

1. No breakfast is served on Christmas Day and you can't get in to the kitchen to grab something as it's all "get out, get out we are preparing the turkey". A platter of smoked salmon canapés arrives out at 1pm which we are not allowed to touch because they are for the neighbours. Then lunch is served at 3.30pm by which point we are all HANGRY especially my poor niece (8 years old) and nephew (10 yrs old) who are beside themselves with hunger
2. When I finally sit down to eat my food, I am single-handedly wrangling my 15-month old toddler at the same time so get to eat maybe 30% of it. Then I am expected to take her away to play as she "won't sit nicely at the table"
3. Nephew plays with an extremely loud drone helicopter thing outside my toddler's door as she's going to sleep at 7pm. I ask him to stop and his parents give me this look and tell him to enjoy his toys. Meanwhile toddler is standing in travel cot wailing to get out and see what's going on. This goes on for 35 minutes.

There are many many more, including FIL hiding the good wine in glasses behind the curtain which he drinks throughout the day and then pours rubbish for everyone else. But those were the main three that I am still a bit cross about and wanted to get off my chest.

AIBU? I suspect I have a very low tolerance threshold. Hell really is other people

gubby - that's fine, since you bought it and your brother contributes nowt (it's what I'd do too!)
But the OP brought the decent wine with her, and got none of it because FIL hogged it all. That's just rude.

I like Hardy's too...

OP next time take the won't from behind the curtain and pour everyone a glass.

Take the Wine and share it!

"Plus every Sunday!!!"

Why? Stay at home on Sundays and cook your own Sunday dinner. You don't have to visit family every Sunday. It isn't the law.

Stay at home next Christmas as well.

yanbu on all three counts. knock this going to them so often on the head. fgs. stop, stop stop.

No food until 3.30 is ludicrous. I'm afraid I just wouldn't stay there. I suppose the non - confrontational way to deal would be to take a box of breakfast biscuits, some pain-au-chocolats, and some fruit with you to breakfast in your room, then maybe some mince pies or other things that don't need to be cooked to be eating late morning.

The toddler wrangling thing - I agree with others, that's an issue between you and your dp, no fault of the in-laws...... er, why didn't you take the high chair ?

Nephew - I'm a bit on the fence - I think it would have been easier if you'd warned him... explained the little one would be going to bed at such and such a time, involved him in playing with the little one and then he would want to be helpful, without it needing to have become confrontational.

Wine - you knew about the glasses, you could have picked one up and just said you'd have one of those.

Also - agree with others who say you don't have to go there every Sunday - you choose to. Same with Christmas day - you don't have to go every alternate year, you choose to. You could add to the rota i) a quiet day at home on your own ii) you inviting them tou yours iii) you inviting your parents to yours. that way, you only spend the day there once every 5 years.

oh and you should have let your toddler enjoy their toys at 5AM outside the parents door.

This thread has really made me laugh.

As I don't have to live it, this is very funny. You have a good way with words, how about writing a play about your ils Mike Leigh style?

All of this you've described OP is totally nuts. You should limit your time with these people to the absolute minimum. Christmas and Sundays are valuable times, don't spend it with people who behave in this way and who's company you don't enjoy.

DON'T continue as things are to pander to your partner. He should not want to spend every Sunday with his parents either, that's not normal. From now on be very clear with your OH, that you won't put up with this shit. Next Christmas, just relax in your own home, don't go anywhere and don't have any visitors.

I've learned this valuable lesson over the last few years. The kind of people who need to be pleased will never be pleased. So don't bother trying and instead live your life and enjoy it. Anyone who's nose gets put out of joint because you change your approach is an adult and they will just have to get over it.

OP are you the poster that has been going to the I laws every Sunday for years?

If no food until 3pm I would take my own.

Of they are going to be so rude then I wouldn't even feel bad about it.

None of the others are particularly acceptable either. Especially the wine.

Actually I would have called FIL on the wine.

Very sweetly "oh is that the xxx we bought to share ? Excellent I was just fancying some of that pass it over"

God no YANBU but they were did none of you say anything about your tight arse FIL downing all the good wine that you have paid for?I would have had to say something and the no breakfast rule as well bad enough for adults but not acceptable for the children.

Taking your LO away from the table no they can sod off,she's a young child not a robot what did the expect?and nephew playing with the drone,he's 10 unless there are any extra needs going on(we have 5DC and 2 of our DC are autistic)then he is old enough to know better himself or failing that his parents are those things we call adults so they should know bloody better.

OP never ever put yourself through that ever again for the sake of your own sanity just say no next time

We don't go every Sunday now. We are invited every Sunday and when we first got married, we went. I got fed up of that PDQ and then when I had the baby I just didn't want to traipse up and down to them once a week.
So we now go between once and twice a month but this is a source of much distress. MIL is Italian and can't cope unless her entire extended family is there all day every Sunday. I am a wicked evil DIL. But I'm ok with that.

Yes, poster, do it yourself, then you will see what it is really like.
So easy to criticize.
Small table/house a perfect excuse; both my children use it.