to wonder if it's ok to end a friendship for no reason?

[DorothyL]

I used to be quite good friends with somebody, but now I feel we have nothing in common and I am too busy, I have tried to get the message across by not contacting her but at xmas she rang the doorbell to drop off a card and asked when we'd meet up, I do feel bad but is there an obligation in life to continue friendships forever?

If you don't enjoy her company then of course end the friendship.

Friendship is about mutual liking. The clue is in the name.

Take the cowards way out and just keep putting her off. She will get the message in the end, and it's probably less offensive than saying you don't like her any more.

I think you just have to be nice about it, and say that you're really sorry, but you just don't have the time to be a decent friend to her any longer. She deserves some kind of reason, I think - there's nothing worse than being on the receiving end of someone "dumping" you with no reason given - so be kind and find a way to tell her that you've grown apart and you no longer have time for her.

I think it would be kind to meet her for a coffee and tell her that you just don't have time to be the kind of friend she needs right now. If she is a tad self absorbed she won't have considered your heavy workload and dc commitments, but will be wondering what she has done to upset you.

If you can't face telling her in person a message will do. No need for any unpleasantness, who knows, you might find that later on you do reconnect.

Lost I see where you're coming from and broadly agree. I think the issue though is that OP's mate won't accept being on the fringes of OP's life, and OP doesn't have the time & emotional energy for the close & intense relationship this person wants from her. It can be hard to 'give a little' when someone won't be satisfied with what you can give & keeps hustling for more.

The OP doesn't seem to be saying 'you're in or you're out'. I can see though how you can be driven to that if someone wants the friendship on their terms (lots of contact, turning up unannounced, sympathy and interest going only one way, etc), and you can't agree to those terms. If someone behaves in a way that says 'my way or the highway', you are entitled to choose the highway.

Yes I can see that.