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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to be shocked at the large number of threads about crap xmas presents

62 replies

Merguez · 26/12/2015 13:11

... either complaining about what you got, or other people complaining about what you gave them?

Just a reminder - it's the season of peace & goodwill to all mankind.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 13:29

I quite enjoy the moaning threads. I can't be arsed about Christmas, do nothing about it until a few days before, only buy for a very limited number of people. I always have a lovely Christmas (not turkey) dinner and love my very small number of presents

Thornrose · 26/12/2015 13:30

Maybe an I need to get a grip topic? Deleted after half an hour? Grin

Baressentials · 26/12/2015 13:31

Well to balance it out some of us had a great day Grin My dc were embarrasingly (sp) chuffed with the quite frankly poor offerings I gave them presents they received.
I really can't imagine my dc growing into adults who moan about their presents (unless there is a back story which means it isn't about the presents but family relationships in general)
Ach I don't even know I am trying to say and this post might not even be what this thread is about. but I just wanted to share that I have had a fab Christmas and feel so grateful and blessed.
I haven't just had 2 glasses of wine with a friend who pooed in

RatOnnaStick · 26/12/2015 13:32

Why indeed? But the sheer number of threads today suggest this is so. Posters are making use of an available space to talk about the subject on their mind. Its not for us to police that. We all have the option to engage or ignore.

Sparklingbrook · 26/12/2015 13:32

Maybe a topic where you can type it all out put it doesn't actually post. You get it off your chest but nobody else has to read it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 13:32

Seriously Rat? Why would an adult need an outlet to 'blow up' about a gift they've been given? Don't get it at all, it's just ungrateful.

I assume it's posters who are seriously invested in "the magic of Christmas" and are disappointed if reality doesn't match TV commercials.

Baressentials · 26/12/2015 13:32

*popped in not pooed in. Really don't want friends who just poo in! Xmas Grin
Happy Christmas MN Wine Cake Flowers
As an aside, am i the only one who prefers Boxing Day to Christmas Day?

Sparklingbrook · 26/12/2015 13:33

'Trending' is getting clogged up with all the moany gripe threads at the moment.

RatOnnaStick · 26/12/2015 13:34

Grin Perhaps a big red button marked DETONATE to literally explode the words over the screen and disappear?

AnthonyBlanche · 26/12/2015 13:43

You've beaten me to it Merguez. I was just considering starting a thread saying was IBU to say what a nice couple of days I had with my family - no tantrums, fallings out or ungratefulness over presents. I'm quite glad they've all gone home now as I am tired out with hosting, but it was my choice to invite people and I know hosting is tiring. I just don't get all the moaning about how it's been the worst Christmas ever etc etc and how relatives are awful. If you don't like your relatives don't spend Christmas with them!

DickDewy · 26/12/2015 13:45

I always feel quite sorry for women whose husbands have given them something thoughtless and crappy.

But the others, moaning about what their parents or inlaws gave them - meh.

Catzpyjamas · 26/12/2015 13:45

I got fabulous gifts! From a mini cupcake bathbomb that I may well be allergic to, to some sweets I can't eat as they contain gelatine, I honestly am so glad for every single thing.
Every gift is a demonstration of friendship or love, some entirely appropriate and some not quite...Xmas Wink but someone else cared enough to give me a gift and for that I am really bloody happy.
Peace and Goodwill to you all.

AnthonyBlanche · 26/12/2015 13:48

Good point DickDewy husbands / partners giving crap gifts are possibly worth moaning about, other crap gifts are not - even if you gave the crap gift giver half of Tiffanys.

howtorebuild · 26/12/2015 13:50

If people grew up and stopped swapping overpriced, overpackaged tat there would be a lot less waste

This, just don't get involved, I only buy for my dc now. Life is all the better for it.

LineyReborn · 26/12/2015 13:56

It drives me mad that my ExH and his wife ask the DCs for presents like bottles of gin and whiskey for them and the ExPiL. Just fuck off. One's an impoverished student of 19, one's still at school.

Such a stupid cycle.

noeffingidea · 26/12/2015 13:59

Totally agree with howtorebuild.
Having said that, some people just aren't able to do that because other people in their family don't agree. We basically live in a consumer society and it can be hard to break free from that.
I do feel sorry for some posters though, like the poster on another thread who had to sit and watch everyone else in her family open piles of presents without a single one for herself. Similar to the people who get excluded from secret santas on purpose. That is a form of bullying, IMO. If you're going to receive gifts then make an effort to include everyone.

anotherbusymum14 · 26/12/2015 14:05

I think a few people posting on MN just need to have real life conversations with their nearest and dearest (to reduce the moaning and venting here). This would change a lot of situations. Bearing in mind we cannot change other people and their responses, we can only change ourselves. Some people just need to say out loud (and calmly) some home truths to people and try and figure out some solutions with them. People mostly want to be with their friends and family but if something bugs us we need to say so. And, if family or friends are being abusive or unfair then people are not BU to back off and stay away until these types people can behave more calmly and kindly. It's life and it's messy but we all need to try and be more real with each other.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 14:08

But the others, moaning about what their parents or inlaws gave them - meh.

And grown ups moaning about not getting presents from aunts or uncles or even worse their partner's aunts or uncles.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/12/2015 14:08

Exactly Special and howtorebuild

"Trending" and Active threads could be used as the basis of a thesis on how over invested large numbers of people are in the myth that love is measured in gifts, and how much happier people might be if Christmas were massively scaled back.

People have such insane expectations - a lot of adults acting like over excited children who are inevitably going to feel let down unless every single person they know is as wholeheartedly over invested in the whole charade as they are.

Also an illustration of how many people absolutely do give to receive, no matter how much they protest that they don't, and how lacking in empathy and self awareness people who cannot see the hypocrisy when they write that they love spending vast amounts of time all year long and more money than they can afford buying everyone and their cat Christmas gifts, and that although they love to do this and don't give to receive, anyone who doesn't feel identically about gift giving is a heartless bitch/ bastard who has ruined their Christmas by not showering them in thoughtful, immaculately wrapped gifts bought in August and wrapped and under their tree by December 1st...

Nanny0gg · 26/12/2015 14:08

Not all of them are moaning.

Some posters are genuinely unhappy justifiably so, imo) at the way they've been treated.

Sometimes it really is about the thought (lack of) than the money.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 26/12/2015 14:16

YABU not because of the first part of your thread, but your second:

"it's the season of peace & goodwill to all mankind."

As that just makes it sound like you don't give a shit about people the rest of the year and that is really the problem, some people care so much about presents because it's the way they get appreciation from the people who supposedly love them. And it's exactly that attitude that builds up occasions as reasons to show appreciation rather than just being nice to people that causes the problem.

ConceptOfBiscuits · 26/12/2015 14:19

I think apart from the odd selfish diva, maybe the majority have unhappy relationships with people, or just generally feel unappreciative etc within certain areas of their life
So to get a what they perceive as a crap/generic present, highlights all those other feelings so its not completely about the presents IYSWIM.

Also people have different personalities and value different ways of showing appreciation/thought etc some like gifts, some words, some actions.
So if you have someone whose personality shows thought through gifts and really put though into a present from someone else, then receives a present from someone who doesn't put that though into gifts (as its just not their thing and they do not value that), the original person wrongly feels it says something about them/their relationship as they perceive gift giving as a high way to show love etc.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/12/2015 14:21

NannyOgg I guess the moaning-about-gifts threads split into two types:

  1. The gift giving has merely become a metaphor for an overall bad relationship (with partner or close relative). There are real problems in the relationship which the gift giving ritual highlights because it is a real, material illustration of the relationship itself.

  2. Greedy, self involved, infantile adults who genuinely care about the gifts in isolation and throw tantrums about not receiving what they think is an appropriate gift despite the rest of their relationship with the offending gift giver/ non giver the other 364 days of the year being equal and good.

Watchatalltimes · 26/12/2015 14:40

YANBU. Whatever happened to it's the thought that counts? Although the really unhappy ones and the poster who got absolutely nothing and had to watch everyone else open gifts are the exception.