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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate Pandora?

92 replies

pleasedontopenpandorasbox · 26/12/2015 09:25

A few years ago my MIL and SIL clubbed together to buy me a Pandora bracelet. They have since bought me a handful of charms for it every birthday and on the birth of my children. I never wear it apart from when they get me a new charm. DH knows it isn't me and has mentioned it but any comment is seen as criticism and feelings are hurt.

2 years ago for DD's first Christmas they bought her a simple silver bracelet and had it engraved with her name and dob. Fair enough it can be a nice keepsake but I don't think she needs to be wearing jewellery.

Yesterday her main present was, you've guessed it, a Pandora bracelet and charm. I now envisage years of charm buying and money wasting on pointedly filling it up.

I wouldn't mind as much if we didn't have give MIL several hundred pounds per month so she doesn't lose her home following a messy divorce.

I just hate them and think the money could be better spent on things my DD needs but AIBU considering MIL and SIL are allowed buy whatever they want?

OP posts:

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 26/12/2015 12:23

(And actually,no, I don't have one)

Preciousxbane · 26/12/2015 12:25

The actual issue is you and your partner giving your MIL several hundred pounds a month to keep her home when you obviously don't want to.

I think the back story of that and asking opinions would be more helpful to you.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 26/12/2015 12:31

You don't like Pandora. Fine. Your daughter might, if you let her make her own mind up. If you don't want any more charms, be a fucking grown up and say so.

fresta · 26/12/2015 12:31

I have a Pandora, it might be mass market, but they have hundreds of charms to choose from and the charm my dd chose for me this Christmas was thoughtfully chosen and will always symbolise this Christmas for me and her sentiments when she chose it. It doesn't matter that hundreds of other people will have the same charm, the meaning of it is unique to me. Most of what we own is not unique. If we only owned a one-off pieces of jewellery I don't think I would have any.

needmorespace · 26/12/2015 12:32

Wow, what a sneery thread.
I have a pandora bracelet - perhaps not something I would choose for myself but my children bought it for mother's day about six years ago. At the ages of 12 and 10 I doubt they thought that it was a lazy present and they would never have to put thought into buying me a present ever again - they thought I would like it (gasp).
The sense of faux superiority about tiny little silver beads on this thread is puzzling and says more about those of you making nasty comments than it does about those who might buy someone a pandora bead with good intent.

Ememem84 · 26/12/2015 12:43

need this is why I, although I stated up thread that I hate pandora, I wear the charm dh bought me. He bought it because it reminded him of somewhere we'd been (the charm is a squirrel. We'd been in New York in Central Park and I'd literally gone crazy laughing at the squirrels scampering about in the snow - crazy little things). I don't wear it often. But it makes me smile.

A whole bracelet of them in my opinion looks tacky. But my opinion. I know people who rave about them but hate things I love. So horses for courses.

I don't wear my charm bracelet because it's heavy and it gets caught on everything (and it was my great grandmas and has sentimental value). Sometimes I take it out and look at it.

Original poster

pleasedontopenpandorasbox · 26/12/2015 13:01

Thought I'd pop back on while I'm feeding the baby and didn't expect quite so many replies. I haven't got my birthday present yet today as MIL and SIL have decided to have a row with each other instead.

I have no issue with other people liking Pandora but it is not my taste at all. A fact which they know as they have been told but they looked upset and hurt and then continued to buy me the charms anyway. Those who say I should be grateful for the gift and that it is thoughtful in its own way would have a point if my in laws didn't already know my feelings on the charm bracelet. I like to buy people things I know they will enjoy and like rather than something I want to force them to collect.

I accept that my DD may want to get on board with collecting the charms but at 28 months she barely understands Christmas (was beside herself with excitement to get some snowman socks!) so it would be a better present for an older child. The actual bracelet is also so small that once she is 10 max it will be too small to wear.

There is more back story of the money we give and my resentment that she takes 10% of our monthly income to pay her mortgage because her exH screwed her over and she won't downsize despite all her children being grown up and moved out. She also refuses to claim benefits yet will happily take our money which has been taxed already yet doesn't see the irony. I don't mean to drip feed as this thread was just about Pandora at first but as the lid is now off (pun intended) it's all spilling out!

We have said we don't really want money or gifts this year as we want her to get on her feet like a pp said but they just ignore us and buy too much.

Sorry if anyone thinks I'm a snob and maybe I am but they have a history of mismanaging money and going overboard for no reason. I definitely prefer one off pieces thoughtfully chosen than Pandora who are out to make as much money as possible by the very nature of how their products work. Very clever concept admittedly.

OP posts:

Cimcardishan · 26/12/2015 13:19

Sorry for offending anyone but the queues outside it makes me wonder why so many people want such a similar thing!

Its like those shamala balls, very of the moment, which may not bother some people but seems so uniform!

I like jewellery that reflects the personality and personally wonder how Pandora, Tiffany hearts, Links or those shambala balls do this!

It also seems a bit statementy, like we all know how over priced these things are and to have x amount of beads means we have spent x amount of money on this thing.

But then again I'm aware that I'm in the minority as I don't like being influenced by mass marketing on something so personal as jewellery.

If my DC got this for me it would be a different matter though. I'd wear a Disney bracelet if that came from the heart.

But if my OH got this I'd think he wouldn't know me at all.

hopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/12/2015 13:25

So why are you still giving her hundreds of pounds each month?

She is choosing not to downsize, and to not claim benefits. Her ex-H chose to 'screw her over'. Why have you stepped up to keep her in that house ?

Damselindestress · 26/12/2015 13:35

I thought there was more to the story. I would want to put a stop to contributing to her mortgage when she is refusing to downsize, claim benefits or reduce her expenses. I would only help as a last resort if she was still struggling after she had taken those steps. Why do you do that? Is it something your DH insists on? Can't you discuss it with him and point out that rather than keeping her off the streets, which sounds noble, if you scratch the surface you are in fact subsidising her extravagant spending and enabling her behaviour. Also enabling her isn't really helping her in the long run, what if something happened to affect your earning potential and you couldn't give her money but she hadn't learned any budgeting skills to cope on her own?

fresta · 26/12/2015 14:17

Pandora don't do baby sized bracelets. I bought one for my 10 year old dd and the smallest size is a little too big for her.

MamaLazarou · 26/12/2015 14:25

Why don't you just tell them, tactfully, that you don't want any more jewellery? You can say it in a nice way without hurting their feelings.

Then sell the lot on Ebay and buy yourself something lovely and unusual instead!

I don't wear jewellery but do find Pandora-wearers very handy as they are so easy to buy for!

notquitehuman · 26/12/2015 14:50

They're overpriced for what they are. I don't think the quality is that great, and I can see them becoming ridiculously naff in a few years, leaving you with an expensive bracelet that you'd never wear! It'd annoy me too if someone brought a present they knew I wouldn't like.

But I'd save the bits for your DD. She might be into them. And kids love having bits of jewellery to play dress up with.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/12/2015 14:56

I don't like Pandora because a) I hate the marketing hype and b) their products are wildly overpriced and ubiquitous.

I don't hate the bracelets as such, though, and I don't think they're a 'thoughtless' gift at all (quite generous and personal, really).

pseudonymity · 26/12/2015 15:01

Is the queuing outside a marketing ploy? I guess so. What I object to is people spending lots of money on gifts that they don't know if people will like, including Pandora. I appreciate gifts but if you're spending a lot of money on someone you have to get a gift receipt or find out if the person wants the gift.

whattheactualfook · 26/12/2015 16:10

Pandora and boxed toiletries for me from the in laws this year, they must really hate me

Leelu6 · 26/12/2015 22:58

Pseudoymity - i think it's a marketing ploy too, they made 4 people queue outside for a largely empty shop today.

CaoNiMao · 27/12/2015 01:34

Pandora is for the pathologically unimaginative, and plays on mawkish sentimentality. People always justify having them by saying things like "I know they're tacky, but I got this charm when my sister's cat's cousin died and it means a lot to me, so I don't care."

ShelaghTurner · 27/12/2015 08:13

Can't think why MN has such a reputation for bitchiness...

Yes I have one. Yes I love it. Everyone else can fuck off. HTH.

LizzieMacQueen · 27/12/2015 08:16

My advice would be to tie the charms on thin ribbon and decorate your Xmas tree with them.

eatingworms · 27/12/2015 08:27

I just got one for Christmas and I'm chuffed to bits with it. No charms, just plain which is more me. Looks nice and delicate on my wrist.........I'll be wearing it a lot I think. It was a kind gift.

Nishky · 27/12/2015 08:28

I can see them becoming ridiculously naff in a few years, leaving you with an expensive bracelet you never wear

Here's a thought-not everyone is so braindead that they will only wear items that other people deem to be popular.

Ohbehave1 · 27/12/2015 08:46

I have always wondered why Pandora is so popular.

Mass produced and over priced , they are the Uggs for this period in time.

You could get the same type of item for a lot less money but you want the name.

I can see them being another empty high street shop in a few years when the next craze takes over.

Heatherplant · 27/12/2015 08:47

Think it's safe to say the issue had nothing to do with Pandora. OP, seriously stop providing money and tell her to down size. Also people are right Pandora stuff will go out of style so if you aren't wearing it get it sold now and make it bloody obvious you are trying to re coup the cash.

Notso · 27/12/2015 09:09

...but at 28 months she barely understands Christmas...
Two. Just say two. Or two years and four months if you really feel the need to show she isn't nearly three.

There are worse things than Pandora bracelets they could be buying.
That said I was given one for my 30th from all my in laws and felt a bit let down as it felt like they just got something they would like rather than something I would like.
My birthday is a week before Christmas and it was no surprise MIL and my three SILs all got one for Christmas that year. From then on its been like some sort of stupid competition to fill the bracelets.

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