To think Dp has a cheek

[onedarkdecembermorning]

His birthday is tomorrow, he's been unemployed for 9 months so I've been working 2 jobs. Thing is he's barely tried to get a job.

So - he wants £60

WIBU to tell him to sod off?

He's deluded, keeps applying for jobs he obviously isn't going to get. And ignores the ones he could get.

Happy New Year

Is he ignoring them because he thinks those jobs are beneath him? Or is he just overestimating his job skills?

Overestimating himself I would say.

Why is booting him out not an option?

You resent him not working and he thinks you are a soft touch. Unless there is a backstory or MH issues it is hard to see any future for you together, sorry.

You've lists a fair number of negative things about him. What are his positives. Where can you see this heading in the future ?

Why can't you leave him? You have no children and it doesn't look like he contributes anything to the relationship.

^^

Great post Arf

Are you the OP who's posted before about this man? It sounds awfully familiar.

So, no kids and you're not financially dependent on him- why is booting him out not an option?

I think I'd print out a few adequate job applications and yell (I wanted to write tell, but yell seems about right) him when he gets a job he'll get £120 as a birthday present.

Considering his request, you may also want to print and present the definition of cocklodger.

OP, you've been told many, many times to leave this man, haven't you?

Imperial, what ARE you talking about? Clearly you've recognised me in real life but a PM would have been politer. This is quite embarrassing as I don't know who you are, sorry.

Will request thread be removed.

I haven't recognised you in real life! I thought you'd posted several times before about this man - if I'm wrong, I apologise but it sounded very familiar.

It would have been a bit nicer to have asked me, you gave me an unpleasant jolt then. No, I haven't posted before about this man. Although even if I had if everyone's just saying 'leave' it's not always helpful.

Happy new year anyway.

But can you explain why you are staying with this man, OP?

He's not working, you've got no kids, you're working two jobs and he's demanding money for a birthday gift. He sounds awful! Why can't you split up?!!

imperial did ask first if you had posted about this before. It looks like you perhaps missed it and only saw her subsequent post.

Tell him how you feel and offer to help him look for jobs tomorrow.

Oh, and YANBU about the birthday money!

OP, judging from your reaction to Imperial, I'm guessing you've been told by people in RL that something needs to give.

It's difficult isn't it. You may love him and that may be why you won't entertain the suggestion of ending the relationship. Are you living in hope that things will get better?

Please, just dont look back in 20 years and realise you've wasted years of your life.

If you haven't posted before about this man then I apologise. Take comfort in the fact there's another poster in an identical situation!

Sometimes when we're in a bad relationship we think we can't leave and think there's no way out, but actually there usually is a way out, especially in a situation like yours where you are working.

Maybe you need to look at why you think you should be stuck with a man like this - I'm sure you deserve more.

And by the tart response to my posts, I'm sure there's enough fire in your belly to deal with him!

Saying there is no future for this lady and her boyfriend is wrong. They do have a future together as it seems to suit her to stay with him, and it certainly suits him to stay with her, what needs pointing out is the relationship isn't going to be how she wants as things are at the moment. There is a very subtle difference that will resonate differently given the emotional state the OP is in.

Is it something to do with the house, why you feel stuck? Maybe we can help.

And no, you don't need to give him money on his birthday. Maybe a small token gift.