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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off *again* about my Christmas presents?

67 replies

WitchWay · 24/12/2015 23:05

We have just had a big boozy blowout roast dinner, in advance of DH's working on-call all Christmas. He & DS have been skiing for a week & returned this lunchtime. He has been twittering on about having to wrap my presents but he wanted to watch Top Gear (repeats) first & oh dear me now you're saying it's dinnertime (making it my fault, clearly), & now he's dozing as quite pissed.

I'm going to get things shoved into recycled gift bags again aren't I?

He buys lovely presents mostly, but the lack of organisation about actually making them into gifts that can be given to me pisses me off. He never wraps anything till Christmas Eve at the earliest - one year we went to my DPs & he was wrapping my stuff on Christmas morning, about ten minutes before we exchanged presents.

And I've had to do all the bloody washing up as per bloody usual.

OP posts:
Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 25/12/2015 07:51

This has to be the biggest non issue I've seen an AIBU about in a long time [santa]

I suppose it must matter to some people, given the range of responses though. I'm with 80smum 'S comment above 100% ... but if presents are expected and always done and important to both partners it would, I suppose, be grating to spend a lot of time and thought on a DH/P who didn't reciprocate ... but being peed off about the wrapping? Really? [santa]

mygrandchildrenrock · 25/12/2015 08:33

My lovely DH brought me a cup of tea about 15 minutes ago and has only now come back to bed himself, I know he'll have been downstairs wrapping!

ScoutandAtticus · 25/12/2015 08:45

Red wallpaper Xmas Shock

Shutthatdoor · 25/12/2015 08:48

Wow. Serious non issue. Merry Christmas

Completely agree Grin

Pidapie · 25/12/2015 09:39

I think having to do the dishes is more a thing to complain about than how your presents are wrapped. This year I got a mug and tea as my present.

mammmamia · 25/12/2015 09:58

Grin at the red wallpaper

sashh · 25/12/2015 10:01

Next year wrap a box, a shoe box or what ever wrap the lid separately and give it him to put your present in.

Redcrayons · 25/12/2015 10:09

red wallpaper Xmas Grin

notquitehuman · 25/12/2015 10:11

My DH's only job this year was to get me a present. He asked me yesterday at 7pm where the wrapping paper was. I try not to do the whole martyrdom act at Christmas but honestly he's the most disorganised person ever!

SocksRock · 25/12/2015 10:13

It's really hard wrapping small things in wallpaper!

anotherbusymum14 · 25/12/2015 10:14

Buy yourself your own presents :)
Seriously, not only do you get to choose what you want but you get appreciate yourself on Christmas Day (all your hard work). And share with others how well you did for yourself, it won't take long for your family (partner) to cotton-on to the fact that they have a role to play in this and hopefully one day they may decide to participate.
If not, then you still get gifts you want.
One thing we do that works is give your kids a set price £5 per person or something - doesn't have to be big - and help them buy something for each other (or just one other person). This is a great way to introduce kids (and your partner) to buying presents for others (and it at least sends a message to your partner as to what you like).
We now have kids who put their own money towards making it a better/bigger present if they want, and they get creative and even make really cool things.
Our job as parents is to teach our kids (partner?) how to do this and give to others (I know we all have our own way of doing this buy given them a fiver each and taking them out with someone in the family in mind really works).
Funnily enough when we buy for them every year, our kids (partner?) can miss the point and think it's always about them (not always, but you get the picture). We need to show them how to do Christmas and sometimes we help them out and walk them through this process.
For partners and kids sometimes it's a learning curve. My kids also all wrap presents differently. Some wrap carefully and now buy their own fancy wrapping paper themselves and others aren't so bothered. (Maybe wrap your own presents really beautifully and show your husband what you really like - he may get the picture).
Eventually they (he) will get there.
By the way, I actually like buying gifts for myself - it's always something I want and I now enjoy opening my own pressies (although this year I didn't as my family all now willingly and carefully buy (and wrap) for me).
I hope that makes sense. I think if your partner wasn't taught to do this or it's not his area of expertise then he may need help (training). I hope that helps.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/12/2015 10:22

Yeah, you're still luckier than me.

I'm lucky to get a present at all - haven't for around half the Christmases/birthdays we've been together (and yes, it still pees me off) - and even luckier if he ever wraps it properly. DH's effort this morning was a box of chocolate (because he's getting me a camera in the sales) which he hadn't even wrapped - he took a piece of paper that one of the boys had unwrapped from their present, and used that to hastily wrap my chocolates.
No Mummy or wife cards either :(

So of course you are entitled to feel pissed off - but it could be a lot worse.
Have a lovely Christmas anyway! Wine[santa]Xmas Smile

JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD · 25/12/2015 10:25

Me and DP are very recently separated- my present was thrown at me, unwrapped, this morning. The only reason it wasn't thrown back was its something I wanted.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/12/2015 10:31

oh I just have to take that back about the wife card - I've just found it in a pile of opened cards! I suspect the 3yo got carried away and opened it for me because I certainly didn't!

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 25/12/2015 11:22

CallMeExhausted

Flowers
WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 25/12/2015 13:48

"I sat and watched the husband and children open all the gifts I bought and wrapped while there was exactly nothing for me. Same as every fucking year."

CallMeExhausted, you buy your husband a present and he doesn't get you anything?Sad Perhaps make this the last Christmas this happens? Flowers

Libitina · 25/12/2015 13:56

Being pissed whilst being on call isnt very professional of him really, is it?

WongTobyWong · 25/12/2015 14:27

Callmeexhausted That's really horrible.

kennyp · 25/12/2015 15:04

i took my children to the pound shop and they each bought me 3 presents, which i paid for. (violins at the ready) they are at their fathers today and i had a m&S lasagne on the sofa by myself for lunch. no part of this is a happy thing. (violins in full force)

it's not what's under the tree, it's who's under the tree. and if you're not happy with either of those then that's a different conversation for a different time i guess.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 25/12/2015 15:09

Well Dh hasn't got round to buying me anything yet because christmas comes as such a fucking suprise every year!

mommy2ash · 25/12/2015 15:15

All I got was pjs that don't fit me from my mum. I'm a single parent. Currently sitting here while my sister and her partner are opening designer gifts. It's pretty humiliating can't wait to get out of here

Bunbaker · 25/12/2015 15:34

"I'm going to get things shoved into recycled gift bags again aren't I?"

Really!

FGS Get a grip. I reuse gift bags every year. There are three of us for Christmas and no-one minds how the gifts are wrapped.

Stop being such a precious snowflake about it.

CombineBananaFister · 25/12/2015 15:48

haha, yes it's a non-issue but don't most couples have these small 'triggers' that really piss us off. Am sure the op isn't exactly weeping about it just narked that he would spend time and effort wrapping it for other people just not her. If you are weepy then maybe you do need to chill Wink

I usually try not to fall into one of those awful bbc sitcom worthy cliches but my eye did start twitching when DH was whining on and on about having to wrap my 4 gifts.........when I'd done all of Dcs, all families, his families etc. And yes, I know it was unreasonable to not mark the end of the sellotape for him because I chose to do it Grin ahhh, xmas matrydom at it's best

Destinysdaughter · 25/12/2015 16:15

I'm single and I bought myself a couple of pressies. A lovely bracelet and a nice smelling diffuser for my bedroom. Happy Xmas me!

Think a lot of men are crap at choosing/ wrapping presents but it still hurts if you've put a lot of thought and effort into it.

bigkidsdidit · 25/12/2015 18:00

I don't think your husband putting exactly zero effort into thinking of something you might like is a non problem Confused fine if you don't do presents, like a few above, bit of you buy them something nice and they don't bother / get you something completely thoughtless I think it says a lot Sad

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