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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed by a gift that is almost what I asked for but not quite?

86 replies

PennyHasNoSurname · 24/12/2015 21:43

I know....first world problem etc. But DH and I set a small budget each. One of the things Id asked for was pricey for what it is but within the budget and under £20, so not actually expensive.

Swapped gifts with all of his side of the family today and one of his relatives got me a gift which is very similar to what Id asked dh for but not quite. DH said "oh yes I was going to get you that then X said they had so I had a re think".

I feel awful to actually be a bit disappointed. The item I wanted was pretty and clever and good quality and this is a replica, not good quality, different details. To dhs mind (dare I say to a mans mind) they are one and the same.

But they arent Sad

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 25/12/2015 09:03

Op did you get mega blocks instead of Lego?

SlinkyB · 25/12/2015 09:23

I heavily hinted to dh I would love a FitBit this year, after coveting friends'.

I have a Pivotal Living band. Not quite the same, but hoping it will be just as good. He did get me the actual Benefit make-up set I asked for too, so totally redeemed himself! Xmas Grin shame about the Bayliss and Harding bubble bath that I've said for years I don't like

judgelionelnutmeg · 25/12/2015 09:27

I wanted a Girls World (a dolls head about the size of a toddlers head) you could put make up on and style the hair of - a very popular toy in the early 80s) when I was about 7 for Xmas but my parents bought me the cheapo Asda knock off version called 'World of beauty'! And the Asda version had a rather bizarre endorsement on the box from Lorraine Chase!

ThreeRuddyTubs · 25/12/2015 09:29

Actually just snorted at the slanket

MaisieDotes · 25/12/2015 09:34

I wanted a Sindy and I got a Girl's World.

That would have actually been ok (although tbh I had really wanted the Sindy) except that my mother was worried about the cream carpet so she took away all the Girl's World's make-up Sad

This will out me to anyone who knows me Grin Grin

bigsnugglebunny · 25/12/2015 09:34

I also think it might be a "Shamdora" instead of a Pandora.

I coveted a pair of leather, tartan printed DM boots in the 1990s - (I was 15) and I got fabric tartan ones instead. I didn't think they were as nice, but I was very gracious about it I think. (I never wore them, and I wish I still had them because I'd wear them now! What a silly teenager I was!)

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 25/12/2015 09:50

For my 12 birthday I got the gold loop earrings I asked for but the cross section was square not circle. I was livid. It looked stupid.
I hate "not quite the right thing but close enough" presents ever since.
I honestly would rather get nothing than the wrong thing. To the point that when I was 21 I decided I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with the wrong guy.
Luckily I found the right guy.
But I still hate the wrong gifts. It shows to me that the giver just doesn't care enough, and so the thought that counts just isn't there.
Penny I'm with you. Merry Christmas to you. Go get what you really wanted next week, ok?

MsMarvel · 25/12/2015 09:51

Don't diss a slanket! I have one and it's very cosy and allows me to be on the iPad without my arms getting cold!

TinyTear · 25/12/2015 09:59

I had to give my DD the cheap over shoes roller skates this year as the proper ones start at bigger shoe sizes!!.

We got her cheapo ones in Argos as we don't even know if she can skate Grin
She isn't even 4 yet so hope she will forgive me

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/12/2015 10:42

Oh god I know this too well.

of course it's lovely people buy things. and often I'm the "oh you don't need to do that, just call on the day" kind if person.

but it is quite disappointing when you have a specific item in mind that you would really love to get or you were going to get fir someone and you'd searched and saved fir ages to find the best deal or the nicest version only for someone to say they would get it and then it's not what you were after at all.

but then it works just well enough to not be able to justify getting the original one.

I'm happy to receive nothing. I really am. but please don't say that you will get something and not get it.

Mynxie · 25/12/2015 11:23

Way back in the day I really really wanted a Monkees LP from my parents and having seen an LP shaped wrapped present under the tree was beside myself with excitement. I was gutted to find I'd been given a Cliff Richards one instead. I've never really gotten over it even though it was 45 years ago

CalleighDoodle · 25/12/2015 20:22

decanter thanks for the link! Made my day!

I must say i nearly did the same this year with my own children. They asked for Paw Patrol pup pads. I didnt think they were worth the money for what they are and nearly got paw patrol games for their leap pads instead, for the same price. But they kept asking for these pup pads and they actually only asked for three things each in total. So we bought the pup pads. Theyre as i thought. The children were happy with them though.

TheRadiantAerynSun · 25/12/2015 20:38

When I was in school everyone had these Head bags; leather sport bags in pastel colours (pinks, blue or cream... I wanted blue) if you were really cool you would zip off the little section on the end and squeeze all your books into it.

I asked for one for Christmas.

I got a Head bag for Christmas.

Unfortunately it was one of those giant sports bags that a football coach would bring all the footballs and equipment in. I could have fitted inside it and zipped it up with room to spare.

RabbitSaysWoof · 25/12/2015 21:03

Tiny she will think they are skates at 3. Thats the age group they are made for, gutting on a 9th birthday tho.

CalleighDoodle · 25/12/2015 21:15

aeryn i had a head bag! A normal sized one though.

madmotherof2 · 25/12/2015 21:39

I've had a few bits that have been not quite what I'd expected...

I asked for a blanket, one that I could get cosy on the sofa with, was thinking a lovely tartan knitted number... I got a super king size cellular ( like a baby blanket!) baby pink one! Not quite what I had in mind..!!

Mmmmcake123 · 25/12/2015 22:15

I've had this twice with skincare products that I wouldn't splash out on myself but if someone says they are willing to spend a certain amount I have thought oooh this is my chance to get x that I've always wanted. Both times I received cheaper versions along with lots of tat.
On the reverse side tho I asked a friend what she wanted for her new baby £50 budget. She asked for a large ornamental soft toy for the nursery. I bought it through gritted teeth because as we all know they may look cute initially but just collect dust and take up much needed room for a couple of years before landing in a charity shop. Really struggled to hand that money over at the till.
Girls world without make up, feel your pain!!!

ginnybag · 26/12/2015 02:26

I've had this today. It sounds so very ungrateful but it's actually left me a bit flat. My dad asks every year what I want.... then buys something similar but not right. He is, however, obsessed with buying gift sets of smellies, the foot scrub/body butter type in a stupidly big box.

Not only do I have a very set and small list of the cosmetics/skin stuff I like, which he knows but ignores in favour of masses of tat, I also have a DD and a DH with eczema. DD's can be finicky enough that just contact with my skin if I've used the wrong stuff can cause a steroid needing flare in her hands.

I've had year after year of this, despite me always and repeatedly saying please don't, but this year it's got to me. We desperately need to redo our living room, to the point where all three of my hobbies are getting dropped currently because I have no viable workspace for them. I'd asked everyone for ikea vouchers to help this - it really is the only present I wanted.

.... and my Dad has bought ikea vouchers... but then, because it wasn't 'fair', spent twice as much on a damned hamper full of crap I don't want, don't like, can't use and which makes our space issues worse!

I sound like a right ungrateful witch, but I'm actually quite upset. If he'd spent what he has on the hamper on the vouchers, I'd be half way to done with the room now. Instead hrs wasted his money and I'm nowhere close.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 26/12/2015 04:00

I bought my mum a slanket a couple of years ago. I thought it would be brilliantly useful to help keep her heating costs down as she sits in an armchair in front of the TV all fecking day either on her ipad or doing sudoku etc., so she needs her hands free without getting her top half cold.

I went there recently to find that she'd cut the sleeves off.

She said it was more useful and less cumbersome without the arms. Confused

Therefore MASSIVELY MASSIVELY missing the whole point of the very useful and brilliant slanket. Hmm

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/12/2015 06:07

It's very arrogant of people to override your gift choice as they think they know better.

However lots of these anecdotes are about people being disappointed in gifts they received as kids.

IMO seriously caring about gifts is best left behind after childhood.

Harsh but my opinion.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 26/12/2015 06:13

I agree Fanjo it's arrogant. Either choose something yourself or don't, but if you are going to ask because you are too lazy or lacking in imagination, then at least have the good grace to get the thing that was asked for, and not just some vague approximation of it!

allegretto · 26/12/2015 06:36

My DH is very bad at buying presents - diamond earrings were his previous best (lovely but we have been together ten years and he hadn't noticed I don't have pierced ears Hmm ). Last year I asked him to get me anything except perfume (I like perfume but I had loads as he had given it to me for my birthday, as had sil and my parents!). He got me perfume. This year was the worst yet though.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 26/12/2015 07:22

haha typical - I think lots of men suffer from a selective hearing/processing problem, where they hear you say 'I can't wear earrings for pierced ears because I don't have pierced ears' or 'please don't buy me any more perfume until I have had a chance to use up what I already have' and they go away and think 'what was it she said again? Oh yes! Something about perfume and earrings. I'll buy perfume and earrings then.'

Confused
Bunbaker · 26/12/2015 07:43

How is it lazy or lacking in imagination to ask what someone wants for Christmas Badly? Aren't you lucky that you know the people you are buying for so well that you know exactly what they like and what they already have.

We don't live near our families. I don't have a clue what to buy my niece, nephew and BIL. So I ask my sister what they would like and I buy exactly what they have asked for.

In SIL's case she says that we have to spend £25 each on ourselves and she will spend the same on herself and her husband. No money changes hands and no gifts are exchanged. I admit that I find that a bit joyless. We don't live near them and can't see them at Christmas so present giving is difficult anyway.

FelicityFunknickle · 26/12/2015 08:02

Poor OP.
Grin at "megablocks/lego" wasonthelist
My poor dh. Since spring I had been looking forward to my Christmas perfume. I love the one he bought me last year. In the summer he treated me to another brand. Lovely, but definitely not my favourite. I used the new one daily so as to save my fave for "best" and "use up" the summer-bought one.
Yesterday morning I was lucky enough to get new perfume. Of course he had noticed that I had used up the summer one, deduced I must like it more than the other (my favourite) and bought another bottle of the summer one.
Xmas Sad

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