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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH friend wating to hijack christmas eve

55 replies

Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 19:53

We have issues previously of DH friend coming over excessively on the evening.One year he was round christmas eve and christmas day night ( he has family of his own) Me and DH have young children and i told him a couple of days i didn't want his friend coming over late christmas eve as i want to set everything up and spend time together.

Tonight he texts making DH guilty he wants to come over and play fifa. His family were going out but he didn't want to go. He has a tendancy of sleeping over on the settee which i don't think is approiate on christmas day!

I said no so now its caused an arugement between me and DH. I just wanted to spent quality time together. Personally this time should be for family and boxing day/New year for friends. Aibu? Friend has on/off GF. If he comes round they go play fifa in the other room whilst i'l be sat on my own in the front room.

OP posts:
Lostmyxmasspirit · 24/12/2015 20:31

So basically he is happy for his friend to intrude on yours and your children's Christmas because he doesn't own his own games console. Stick to your guns because he is out of order kicking off about it

FlatOnTheHill · 24/12/2015 20:33

Its the vision of two grown men sitting there with all those poxy long cables across the lounge. Playing footy like 2 excited 5 year olds. I think men that do this lack something. Dunno what but its weird.

ilovesooty · 24/12/2015 20:36

I don't get all these comments about him playing Fifa either. The OP has said it isn't an issue. She is however perfectly reasonable not to want the friend to come over tonight.

Dothedance · 24/12/2015 20:37

Sunbeam you sound sorted and have a good grasp of what's acceptable.

For the record I know loads of responsible, professional men who play FIFA occasionally, nowt wrong with that!

TendonQueen · 24/12/2015 20:37

Fifa playing isn't a problem to me, but wanting to play games with a mate on Christmas Eve would be. You're right to veto that.

FlatOnTheHill · 24/12/2015 20:40

Sorry i got off track and was going on about fifa.
Your DH needs to tell the mate to politely fuck off as he wants to spend time with his family preparing for xmas day. YANBU

Original poster
Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 20:42

Thanks for guys. DH has suggested a movie for us to watch so will be settling in for the night. Thanks fir the advice and hope you have a good christmas x

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 20:53

Excuse the spelling errors knocked post message before i could go back and edit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 20:53

Excuse the spelling errors knocked post message before i could go back and edit.

OP posts:
CakeNinja · 24/12/2015 21:05

Id feel the same and hope dp would be able to say no to such an occasion.
A lonely friend needing company on Christmas Eve? Yes of course, I'd really hate for a friend to feel they couldn't pop round for a drink and a chat because it was Christmas Eve, I've always got time for friends.
But that doesn't sound like the same situation.
My dbro plays Fifa and goes round mates houses every couple of months for tournaments and food. They are all
Mid 30's. He's a recovering alcoholic and doesn't socialise as much as others as he finds drinking gatherings a bit overwhelming even though he's been sober for years. He has a dp and dc and is a committed family man who happens to like playing Fifa.
I'm not a gamer myself but I do have other hobbies. I don't think the fact that he plays on a console means he's not worth having a relationship with, and nor does his partner.

Op, sounds like you've had a good result. Merry Christmas Wine

Original poster
Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 21:08

Thankyou cakeninja Merry Christmas x

OP posts:
GingerLDN · 24/12/2015 21:15

Glad you're getting your family night and he's not in a huff. I fail to see what's wrong with gaming, it's not gambling or anything!

CheerfulYank · 24/12/2015 21:21

I don't know what FIFA is but I do know a lot of adults that play games. We don't but everyone has their own hobbies.

Glad it worked out OP. :)

lighteningirl · 24/12/2015 21:31

Nothing wrong with playing Fifa but not on Christmas eve well done for standing your ground glad you got your evening sorted

VaticanAssassin · 24/12/2015 21:37

I can't believe out of everything, playing FIFA is such a problem Confused

My DH works hard and is a great Dad to 3DCs.
Sometimes he plays on our PS4 for a couple of hours. I'd rather he wound down playing Black Ops or Battlefield, than drinking, betting or playing cricket! Grin

My DH plays PS4 via the Internet so he can join up with friends for a game online, they can use a mic to talk, then when the game is done, switch off.

Just realised I've missed the entire point of the thread, because if your DH played FIFA and talked online with his mate, he wouldn't need to piss you off by wanting to be at your house in the first place! Grin

If that makes sense?

VaticanAssassin · 24/12/2015 21:38

I've had wine

Rdoo · 24/12/2015 21:43

Flatonthehill, I play FIFA, do you think I'm "lacking" in something??

OohMavis · 24/12/2015 21:50

Gaming is my hobby. I'm 26. Me and DH met at a gaming competition and he regularly enters them now, at 28, and can win thousands of pounds a year.

But no yeah, he should get a proper grown-up hobby like drinking at the pub or something. Something productive like that.

Hmm
lighteningirl · 24/12/2015 21:57

I am currently playing Fallout 4 on my new Xbox one that dh and ds bought me for my fifty something birthday last month and I'm fairly sure one of my presents will be Assassins Creed. Nothing wrong with gaming in my family we also read, watch films, ski, do yoga etc I'd rather give up wine than gaming definitely not exaggerating

LapsedPacifist · 24/12/2015 22:04

Well played Sunbeam, sounds like a good compromise! Smile

I have a house full of gamers aged 19-49 here, so I know where you're coming from! :)

kali110 · 24/12/2015 22:07

i'm sick of the comments from mns about how sad or immature it is for adults to play on a console.
It isn't just for children.
Aslong as the person isn't putting it over their family then there's no problem, it's just something that a person enjoys, like another person likes crosswords or swimming.
I wouldn't have a problem with a mate coming over if they were loney but it doesn't sound like that here.

GrimmauldPlace · 24/12/2015 22:09

I'm 27 and I play Fifa... Must be something wrong with me Confused
OP, YANBU at all. As you say, there's a time and a place.

glueandstick · 24/12/2015 22:14

My 30something husband has a Xbox (I think...) and has a dedicated evening to it (not necessarily the same each week) and if I have an early night will play a bit. I have named the Xbox as clearly she is the other woman. He's a fully functioning adult and it doesn't worry me. We all need our own hobbies.

Waltermittythesequel · 24/12/2015 22:20

Jesus. Pokers up a lot of arses about Fifa!

There's nothing wrong with gaming whatsoever. Confused

Glad you sorted it, OP.

Original poster
Sunbeam1112 · 24/12/2015 22:37

I agree about the FIFA comments was bit taken back by it. Hes not perfect but no one is and if xbox is is flaw so be it. I thought many people use the Wii so didn't think some would respond the way they did. It might be a generation thing i rather him do that then be the generation who went to the pub all the time and be seeing to the kids. We grew up with game consoles. The next generation is social media, smart phones etc.

OP posts:
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