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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is the world obsessed with Santa?

80 replies

80schild · 24/12/2015 19:08

Starting this thread after a few bizarre conversations recently.

It started with a friend about a month ago who was aged 8 at the time of the incident - Her DD was concerned about santa coming into her room at night, so friend decided this was the time to break the news that santa wasn't real but she wished she had told her earlier.

DH is a school teacher. Apparently he was told not to "break the news" to his year 7s as some of them still believed in Santa.

My DS is now in year 2. All his friends still believe in Santa.

My sister has thoroughly brainwashed her children into believing if they aren't good santa won't come to them (this is just wrong).

I find it really odd that parents don't seem to tell their children sooner. I think my DS is the only one who doesn't believe (I told him in a small argument about what Christmas was about). I am sure as a kid I knew by the age of 7 and that less of a fuss was made about the whole santa thing and it was less encouraged to hold on to the belief in Santa.

I guess I am wondering if I am being unreasonable for thinking attitudes towards santa are slightly overdone?

OP posts:
raisin3cookies · 24/12/2015 19:43

We don't do Santa. We talk about the real reason for Christmas, and how our Christian beliefs have dovetailed over the years with Pagan traditions and Saint Nicholas. My children still enjoy believing in magical things, and are just as excited about tomorrow morning as the next child. Not deprived.

DurhamDurham · 24/12/2015 19:45

My two girls were in year six before they told me they no longer believed in Santa, they had friends who had told them the truth.

I was always going to tell them before they went to secondary school it's just their friends beat me to it Grin

Christmas is still fun now that they've grown up but nothing can match when they were little and couldn't wait to get up Christmas morning to 'see if he's been'!!

ProjectPerfect · 24/12/2015 19:46

I'm struggling to get past you telling a 6/7 year old that Santa didn't exist to win an argument 😱

SenecaFalls · 24/12/2015 19:48

A secondary school teacher is supposed to keep up the pretense? This is truly laughable. I am imagining a science teacher working children though the steps of the scientific method, but still having to keep up the fiction of Santa Claus. Ridiculous.

DisappointedOne · 24/12/2015 19:49

I don't think it's up to adults to tell DC. It's for them to find out in the playground, or from friends, cousins etc

Yep, that's really going to strengthen trust between kids and their parents. (If you're goi g to lie to your kids you should be the one to tell the truth/deal with the fall out.)

DisappointedOne · 24/12/2015 19:52

We don't do Santa. I'm fucking sick of people (including random strangers) asking DD (5) if she's been good, if she's excited about Santa, what was on her list etc. I've just about managed not to shout "fuck off" at them. Try and tell someone you don't do Santa - they look at you like you have 4 heads. Hmm

BrianButterfield · 24/12/2015 19:52

As a secondary school teacher, I'd never say anything definitive to a class of Y7 about Santa not being real. I wouldn't play along with it just in case or anything, but I just wouldn't do any out-and-out bubble popping. I've known a couple of Y7 still believe and it's not my place to enlighten them. Really it requires very very little effort - the topic doesn't often come up and you just smile and nod when needed. There's no lying or storytelling involved on my part, I just don't want to end up in the newspaper as Cruel Teacher Broke Child's Heart.

passmethewineplease · 24/12/2015 19:55

YABU to tell your son the the truth in an argument.

It's one night out of 365, I'll be dammed if DD stops believing now!

LaLyra · 24/12/2015 19:57

I don't see the harm in children believing in something fun and exciting for one time of the year.

It's really, really bizarre tbh the amount of people that object to kids believing in Santa for 'too long'. I had someone moan at me because my 8 year old is being "babied" because he still believes (I actually don't think he does - I think he's at the 'don't believe this, but saying nothing just in case' stage). Yet the same person thinks I'm forcing him to "grow up far too quick" because I let him walk home from school by himself.

It's another thing where parents can't win in the eyes of other people who forget that, actually, its none of their business what someone does with their kids with regards to things like Santa.

SenecaFalls · 24/12/2015 20:02

Sorry, it's other people's business if secondary school teachers are expected to foster a belief in Santa Claus.

DisappointedOne · 24/12/2015 20:06

I don't see the harm in children believing in something fun and exciting for one time of the year.

It's the assumption that all do that boils my piss (and the effort made by parents to make the lie real year after year - no different to hardcore religion IMO).

ghnocci · 24/12/2015 20:08

You told him in an argument that FC isn't real? A - what - 6 year old?!

That's one of the worst examples of parenting I've ever heard. You should feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

Enjolrass · 24/12/2015 20:11

We don't do the 'you only get coal if you are naughty'

But Yabu.

It's nothing to do with your dh if kids still believe.

It's not uncommon for 8 year olds to believe

Telling your 6 year old in an argument isn't great

SaltaKatten · 24/12/2015 20:11

My dd1 will be 11 next month and when dh asked her what she thought about Santa she said she didn't think anyone could deliver all those presents. So he was just about to confess when she went on explaining how she has worked out that there must be a network of elf distribution centres for getting it all ready and delivered =)
For her, I think it's more wanting to believe than anything as she loves the magic of it. We might make sure she knows the truth before she starts secondary, but dh just couldn't make himself tell her a few days before Christmas.

QueenMolotov · 24/12/2015 20:15

Are you Richard Dawkins, OP? Wink

hedgehogsdontbite · 24/12/2015 20:18

We still put out a mince pie for Father Christmas and a carrot for Rudolph and my DD is 22. Blush

Original poster
80schild · 24/12/2015 20:20

Don't worry I won't take the accusations of awful parenting seriously although I am flattered. There are two things I will never do to my children though: lying and patronising them. They are reasonably bright and wanted to have a discussion about Christmas - he was putting his view that Christmas was all about presents and in this context I told him what Christmas was really about and that Jesus had been a real person and the question for him was whether he believed Jesus was the Son of God or not (that was for him the decide). I don't see what is wrong with this. It just seemed a normal point to tell him.

OP posts:
DotForShort · 24/12/2015 20:21

I do think that some people take it all a tad too seriously these days. I also find it very hard to believe that a NT 12-year-old could believe that Santa actually traverses the globe delivering presents. Surely any child of that age knows that many children around the world live in extreme poverty. How could they possibly believe that a magical figure like Santa chooses to ignore so many children while bestowing all sorts of presents on relatively wealthy families?

Original poster
80schild · 24/12/2015 20:22

Definitely not Richard Dawkins - I fully believe in Christmas and am a Christian. I want my children to grow up to be informed and to think about religion in a positive way and be able question the world around them.

OP posts:
MissFitt68 · 24/12/2015 20:24

It's complete overkill

And this year seems worse than ever

SummerNights1986 · 24/12/2015 20:24

We've just managed to get our two to bed. They're so excited they don't know what to do with themselves. Ds1 (age 7) can hardly string a sentence together.

Dh and I were just discussing how we can remember how that used to feel and would love to have that back! I feel sad at the thought that ds1 may not believe by next year and won't be volunteering any truths any time soon.

amitha · 24/12/2015 20:31

I agree OP, we haven't really mentioned Santa this year at all as I can't handle this pretence. They've talked about santa coming tonight - they are 9 and 6- fairly sure the 9 yr old knows but happily plays along- they have left out sweets and carrot etc. I pretty open with them about not believing in fairies, ghosts and jesus too! I think its nice to go along with the traditions, you don't have to believe in Santa for that though!

DisappointedOne · 24/12/2015 20:36

I told him what Christmas was really about and that Jesus had been a real person and the question for him was whether he believed Jesus was the Son of God or not
You know most Christmas traditions have nothing to do with Christianity/Jesus, don't you?

planter · 24/12/2015 20:38

The world isn't brainwashed, just the English speaking part.

DD is 5 and isn't completely clear on who Santa is. She isn't being brought up in the uk.

Elisheva · 24/12/2015 21:16

We don't do Santa in our house either, we've always presented him as a story, and answered honestly when any of the DC ask if he's real. Except this year DS1 who is eight has declared that he has come to the conclusion that Father Christmas is in fact real, and that me and DH are misinformed.
Poor DS2 (5) doesn't know who to believe!

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