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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think i should be able to call the police and not feel guilty about it?

77 replies

foxessoxes · 23/12/2015 14:55

Parked outside my flat earlier- the gates to the complex are just by my door, so I cab quickly park by my front door and unload shopping. Left my handbag on the front seat, and had the car unlocked while I was in the house for less than a minute- cat was loitering in the hall so didnt want to leave the bags in her reach as she is quick as lightning getting into stuff.

2 kids (brothers) on bikes loitering about. Came back to my car to pick up my bag and to move the car, only to find it gone.

Parked up, and went and knocked on their flat. Pleasantly asked if they had seen anything as they were cycling about, got a mouthful of abuse from the mother and the door slammed in my face.

The thing is- she opened the door and in a split second I know I saw my bag sitting on their kitchen table (she opened the door wide and then when she realised it was me closed it part way so I couldnt see in). Im not even bothered about the money, but I have some medication of my goddaughters in there that she needs over Xmas- I went to pick it up for my friend this morning as she wouldnt of got there in time.

Now, this is the problem. This woman (the mother of the two boys) does have quite severve mental health problems. They arent getting much support but the flat is a mess and she clearly is struggling

My friend has pointed out by calling the police, it might mean that SS get involved and it would be a bit shitty at Xmas.

As shit as it is, im down a £200 bag, £40 odd in cash, cards and the medication and other things I have in my bag.

Surely I should be able to call the police without feeling guilty? AIBU?

OP posts:

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/12/2015 21:02

Nothing like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted there c'estlavie

OddSocksHighHeels · 23/12/2015 21:03

Op can't really prosecute for the cash - how can she prove how much cash was there?

maddening · 23/12/2015 21:05

I would go out and get petrol and cash not and cancel cards - if transactions happen after there is record of you being aware thay details are compromised then you could have to argue around negligence on your part.

SixtyFootDoll · 23/12/2015 21:14

How old are the boys? Police have to consider if necessary / proportionate to arrest

Ipsos · 23/12/2015 21:21

If you cancel the cards now, the bank will still let you take money out over the counter using the cards as id.

I had this a few years ago after a burglary. I cancelled the cards while the police were still in the house but had to wait 2 weeks for new cards to be issued. I went down to my bank branch in the meantime and they let me have cash out over the counter just from showing the cancelled card.

AyeAmarok · 23/12/2015 21:22

Glad you got it back.

Very disappointed that the police didn't take it any further though!

Penfold007 · 23/12/2015 21:30

OP you need to cancel the cards NOW not in the morning. You left your bag unattended and they stole the bag. If you don't report the cards as soon as possible and they have recorded your card details the bank will say you are liable not them.
You will be able to make arrangements to get money tomorrow morning.
Sorry you've had such a horrible experience.

rollonthesummer · 23/12/2015 21:46

I would imagine you will be liable for any purchases made before you report the cards stolen.

knobblyknee · 23/12/2015 21:56

Why would anyone defend an adult teaching the kid to steal for them? what chance do those kids have in life with that kind pf parenting?

scarlets · 23/12/2015 22:00

Scumbag parent. Those children never stood a chance. I hope that SS start paying the fanily some attention, poor kids.

mineofuselessinformation · 23/12/2015 23:46

Op, you can take money out at a branch of your bank with photo id - it doesn't need to be your card. Cancel them now.

JE1234 · 23/12/2015 23:54

Please do cancel your cards now. As you were aware your bag was stolen you have an obligation to notify the bank. If you don't and they run up a nice big unagreed overdraft the bank will not reimburse you as you didn't take the necessary steps to prevent it.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 24/12/2015 00:08

I would push for prosecution. I can't believe the police haven't !

GiddyOnZackHunt · 24/12/2015 00:08

I've managed to take cash out of my bank using only my driving licence when I left my purse at home. Ring them to cancel the cards. Explain the situation and get them to authorise a withdrawal at the counter tomorrow.
The thieves could be doing internet mayhem with your card numbers and security numbers. It's not like they don't know the billing address...

Notrevealingmyidentity · 24/12/2015 00:18

You can go to your branch with if to make small withdrawals.

Promise. I used to for in all bank. Please do phone up - right now in fact.

ghostspirit · 24/12/2015 00:26

the mother of them boys is an arseghole. if my kids ever done that i would give the bag back and make the boys say that htyr are sorry etc. i hope to think i would suggest she called the police. cant say i would truely say that though. but i defo would not cover for my kids if they done such a thing like that. not a hope in hell

Topseyt · 24/12/2015 00:33

Cancel the cards. Don't wait until they use your card. All they need is to have written down the card number, expiry date and security code and they can use it to buy anything online.

As someone else said, if you don't cancel and something does happen then YOU are considered liable, so your bank would probably not refund the money.

If you think it is even remotely possible that your cards have been compromised then the onus is on you to act.

JoffreyBaratheon · 24/12/2015 01:12

Just for that I'd ring the SS tomorrow. Not that they'll bother to come out now, but might as well put these people on the radar. We also have neighbours with MH issues and criminal tendencies and I have zero compunction in calling the police, NSPCC and SS whenever they do anything that disturbs the peace. You never know, eventually someone in authority might even give a shit.

TiredButFineODFOJ · 24/12/2015 01:48

Why would ss be involved? Because this environment is all kinds of wrong, that's why. You are doing them all a favour.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 24/12/2015 06:25

This really annoys me. I work closely with the police in my job and know how good let of them are but when they refuse to prosecute or arrest over something as plain as this then that's when they get a bad name. Prob just a couple that could not be bothered. Please take this further OP and complain

Enjolrass · 24/12/2015 06:52

Are you the poster whose car got done over? If so are they the same boys, that you accused of doing it over?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/12/2015 07:10

She said she doesn't have cash so I assume she needs to use her credit card and can't cancel it?

Sorry this happened to you OP

DiscoDiva70 · 24/12/2015 08:27

Op
Why would you leave a £200 bag in your unlocked car? Surely you could have taken your bag in initially with one of the shopping bags and leave it in home safely.

Also, you seem to know alot about this family and go on to say the mother doesn't get much support, how would you know this if you are a relative stranger?

And I also can't see why the police just returned your bag without taking further action.
It doesn't seem right, especially as you had bank cards in there.

wannabestressfree · 24/12/2015 10:20

Because she did..... We have all done things that in hindsight we shouldn't....

DiscoDiva70 · 24/12/2015 20:00

Wannabestessfree
I realise we all look back with hindsight and realise we shouldn't have done certain things, but leaving a bag worth £200 with cash, cards and medication in it, really?

I can't fathom out why this family quickly handed over the bag to the police, surely they'd have denied all knowledge of even seeing it, even if the police said they had cctv evidence, I'd imagine the family would've still denied having the bag.

The Op mentioned that she pulled up outside her flat , but then says she was in the house, I'm confused as to where she lives

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