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Original poster

To think i don't have a speech impediment

285 replies

McColonel · 20/12/2015 23:53

To me, F and TH are pronounced exactly the same. E.g. three and free - I say them in exactly the same way.

My wife says I can't pronounce th, and I always pronounce an F when it should be TH.

Does anyone agree with me, that they are pronounced the same? Or is she right, and I can't speak properly? My brother agrees with me.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 21/12/2015 00:50

I really don't think people need to be so nasty!

I went to Uni with a girl who did this. She would use either 'f' or 'v' in place of 'th'. She didn't really hear the difference, and try as hard as we might she never got it or understood. Not her fault, but it does sound a bit childish at times. I do think it is a speech impediment.

CastaDiva · 21/12/2015 00:52

How do you people hearing you distinguish, OP? I mean, obviously context helps, but aren't there ever situations where someone who doesn't share your accent thinks you're saying 'free' when you mean 'three'?

I have to say that as the parent of a child whose name begins with Th, it annoys me when it's mispronounced.

Marzipanface · 21/12/2015 00:52

My husband has the same problem! He is has no discernible accent until he attempts to say 'three' and he doesn't seem to be able to do it. My five year old is starting to do the same thing and I correct her. Husband is from Luton.

itsbetterthanabox · 21/12/2015 00:53

You say it's not an impediment but surely it causes you problems with miscommunication so it is an issue. If you say many different words in exactly the same way then that's going to cause misunderstanding. How do you clarify?

WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes · 21/12/2015 00:58

I'm from the Luton area originally and I pronounce "th" with no problem at all, to me they are totally different sounds. DH, on the other hand pronounces it as "f", he's from Birmingham. DS does have a speech impairment and his speech therapist says that where we live (Hampshire) it is regarded as dialect and they don't teach to correct it.

peacefuleasyfeeling · 21/12/2015 00:59

Ha ha! My DP is from Essex and does the same thing as you. I adore his dialect, so think it sounds nice. Causes no problems for him. It is a robust-sounding regional dialect, not a speech impediment and I am sure it's not in your case either. DD1 (5) has emulated her dad's way of speaking and it is causing her some problems with spelling and genuine consternation when we try to explain the difference. Luckily DD2 takes after me (Scandinavian, speaking flawless Queen's English Grin ). I'm not sure this usage is restricted to a particular area these days though, I teach primary in the SW, and it's rife in my city.

CantSee4Looking · 21/12/2015 01:05

My hearing isn't great, and I'm not particularly observant.

I had this speech issue as a child. I was taught endlessly and I can sorta hear this but I still occassionally slip up. It is not correct but is common. But it can cause issues with spelling. And it is a pain to unlearn. I struggle to hear the difference between similar sounds so often have to ask for spellings when dealing with customers (work on a phone) If you can't hear the difference it makes things harder. There is a difference but if you can't hear it and nobody pointed it out when you were a child then you can't correct it. But the time you are an adult it is so ingrained to change it takes considerable effort. Possible though. But i suspect hearing could have played a role in this.

I guess the big question is do you want to change it (it will help your children in their learning process of sounds/phonics) or do you want to ignore it?

Pythonesque · 21/12/2015 01:18

This sort of thing can, in some cases, be a sign of quite subtle hearing problems. The component of the sounds that differentiates them is at a fairly high frequency as speech sounds go, I believe.

torthecatlady · 21/12/2015 01:34

This isn't particularly helpful (sorry) but I understand the issue!
I have a slight speech impediment where I struggle to pronounce the "th" with "three" and other words, again like "Thor".
I can hear when other people say it and absolutely know the difference, it is one of those things that bothers me but I am so aware of it that I make an extra effort when saying the word.
I can do it, but it does not come so naturally.

teacher54321 · 21/12/2015 06:50

A good friend of mine from Essex who I lived with at university did this. He's gone on to get a PhD so it's obviously not indicative of intelligence or lack there of. However he always said his parents never taught him/told him how to pronounce and differentiate between the 'th' and 'f' sound. So 'three' was 'free' etc. Weird thing was that his parents don't have an Essex accent and they pronounce their 'th' words perfectly.

Sighing · 21/12/2015 07:38

My speech impediment was probably caused by poor hearing that wasn't picked up for years as a child & more ongoing because most people react negatively when you're a teen. Telling you it's babyish/ mumbling/ rude/ too quiet. I'm very softly spoken as well, public speaking I avoid.
Ime constantly raising how someone speaks exacerbates the quirk.

Enjolrass · 21/12/2015 07:49

Surely you did phonics at school? Spelling? Sounds?

Ds used to say 'free' instead of 'three'.

But then he did phonics at school and now understands there is a difference.

I am really shocked you have become and adult and never noticed anyone else saying 'three' .

And saying 'vere' instead of there makes me think your hearing has to be really bad but I can't understand why you never noticed when you were taught in school, or that no one corrected you as you were growing up.

It really reminds me of how toddlers talk.

StillYummy · 21/12/2015 07:51

Are you dyslexic?

liz70 · 21/12/2015 07:52

I used "f" for both until aged 10 (didn't know any different), when a twat of a teacher took the piss of me for it in front of the entire class and embarrassed the hell out out of me. I then started practising alone in my bedroom, and eventually managed to master the pronunciation of "th".

Enjolrass · 21/12/2015 07:58

I am not sure where the line is between impediment and lazy speech.

But I would have thought if you can not hear the difference and can not say it, it is an impediment.

Ipigglemustdie · 21/12/2015 08:09

I realised I have been doing this for 33 years. I'm going to blame it on a rubbish education

bruffin · 21/12/2015 08:15

Neither my DH or Dd can pronounce th. DH is a south londoner but his hasnt really got an accent, but dd has been bought up in Herts.
But they know the difference between th and f but just cant pronounce them properly.

MerryMarigold · 21/12/2015 08:17

It's like saying 'haitch' for H. That's another 'speech impediment'.

FuckingCrumbs · 21/12/2015 08:18

How do you pronounce 'the'

Pidapie · 21/12/2015 08:22

They are definitely different sounds, and your wife is in the right here :p Vere seems very odd to me.

MerryMarigold · 21/12/2015 08:26

Usually people say 'dair' for there, as in 'it's over dair'.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/12/2015 08:32

It's lazy speech, to say "free" for "three". Something you should have been trained out of before you got to school, really.

Your DW is definitely of the vast majority; there IS a difference but if you can't hear it, then ok. Doesn't make you correct in your opinion though.

CandlesAreBurning · 21/12/2015 08:33
Hmm
ricketytickety · 21/12/2015 08:33

Didn't anyone try and correct you when you were little and saying free instead of three? I thought that was a right of passage for all children - at least someone (teacher/aunt/gran/lady in the shop...) would have said it surely?

roundaboutthetown · 21/12/2015 08:36

They are very different sounds. If you can make them but don't understand the importance of the difference, then I think you have a hearing problem, not a real speech impediment! Grin I presume if you've happily reached adulthood before anyone complained that people can nevertheless understand you from the context of what you say, but most people will silently be assuming you have a speech impediment...