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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think i don't have a speech impediment

285 replies

McColonel · 20/12/2015 23:53

To me, F and TH are pronounced exactly the same. E.g. three and free - I say them in exactly the same way.

My wife says I can't pronounce th, and I always pronounce an F when it should be TH.

Does anyone agree with me, that they are pronounced the same? Or is she right, and I can't speak properly? My brother agrees with me.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2015 10:03

Jessie I would imagine he does waht we all do for a loving Wink

Iaminthestables · 21/12/2015 10:06

JessieMcJessie I'm afraid I agree with you. My FB slips into the vernacular when he is speaking to the local yokels (not meant as a derisive term) but back into normal English when speaking to others!

Iaminthestables · 21/12/2015 10:10

I tell pupils when pronouncing TH it's the only acceptable occasion to stick your tongue out at the teacher. They love that!

RiverTam · 21/12/2015 10:18

DH has this speech impediment (I would call it that on him, as does he), his accent is completely RP but he struggles with the 'th' sound on certain words. When he says three, for example, it comes out as fffthrree. It caused one comedy misunderstanding between us but generally isn't a problem.

Op, I would guess yours is tied into your hearing problems. Maybe see what the GP has to say?

JessieMcJessie · 21/12/2015 10:19

Smile BOOP. Personally, I only ever sleep with men with perfect RP pronounciation, just as well OP is married already and doesn't have to deal with picky birds like me ...

JessieMcJessie · 21/12/2015 10:21

Glad you agree Iaminthe stables. What's an FB though- is that a non- precious firstborn?

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 21/12/2015 10:23

My youngest says th as f, and my DC2 does sometimes as well - we live in Germany and although English is their mother tongue its a constant see-saw between English and German in terms of which language dominates.

I do try to train them to say "th" because I want them to sound like native English speakers, and the f/th is the only thing that gives them away (but could sound like a regional variation or just immature speech in a child) and also because of the spelling issue when they write English (DC1 says "th" and has not had that spelling issue, though she has others).

I don't think not pronouncing "th" makes English speakers harder for non native speakers to understand though, as only the highest level non native speaker can say "th" and a lot of learners don't hear the difference unless you exaggerate (I teach EFL to adults) - the "th" sound exists in very few languages other than English!

I do also make learners, and my younger kids, stick their tongues out to say "th" though [santa]

neepsandtatties · 21/12/2015 10:31

OP, are you Olly Murs? He's always talking about the "Final Free" in X-factor.

FlowersAndShit · 21/12/2015 10:42

When I was 10 there was a boy in my class who kept saying 'fink' and 'ver' which annoyed the crap out of me. So, I taught him how to pronounce 'th'. He got it at first but kept going back to saying 'fink'.

GrouchingTiggerHiddenSomething · 21/12/2015 10:54

My DH really struggles to hear the difference as well.
He got me to record 90 threes and 90 frees and wrote a quiz program on the computer that played you the sound and made you guess which it was.
Both my son and I get 100% accuracy on the test, but my husband and daughter only get 70% accuracy.
He has being trying to practice hearing the difference but is unable to improve - it seems almost like a form of colour blindness applied to hearing.
I have taught him how to say "th" correctly and he does make a real effort to try - love him.

Bunbaker · 21/12/2015 11:01

"I am afraid that saying "fink" instead of "think" etc will make you sound uneducated in a professional context. Many people have it as dialect but the ability to switch to correct pronounciation is what marks out those with good education."

I'm inclined to agree with this, although I wasn't aware that some people without hearing problems can't tell the difference between "f" and "th". Probably because it is so obvious to me.

HowBadIsThisPlease · 21/12/2015 11:03

I used to work with someone who couldn't say "th" but often she used "d" instead, like for "dis one" and "dat one". I think three was free though.

In her case she had a confused and superficial grasp of English in general. She usually didn't finish sentences, she used phrases and hand waving, she sort of used words and blocks of words rather than actual grammar and as a result things were often very confusing when we had to go into detailed analysis of things which had happened and in what order, or any detailed or complicated concept at all. She also habitually and repeatedly didn't refer to names or places when trying to give these accounts so you would get screeds and screeds of "they told him that they couldn't go there, but he went there" with various different meanings of "he" and "they" and "there". there was never any sense of cause and effect in her accounts of things, you could never tell what happened in what order, and who did what as a result of what.

I spent a lot of time thinking about it but I honestly couldn't tell you whether the structured thought patterns were all there intact, overlaid with no great talent for expression; or whether the jumbled expression was a symptom of genuinely not being able to grasp a lot of stuff. If I had her powers of expression laid on top of my powers of thinking I would be in a state of permanent frustration. Perhaps she was. She was always as quiet and unforthcoming as possible.

She left the job. If she had stayed I would honestly have wanted to get her some kind of professional help because it was beyond my powers to help her; I wouldn't have known what for though, because just chucking her on a written english course wouldn't have cut it, I don't think

anyway that is a digression but in her case her confusion of d, th and f went with being completely out of her depth in the differences between words and sounds and lack of ease in relating written to spoken english

goodnightdarthvader1 · 21/12/2015 11:07

This is why I argue when people say this "Estuary English" style of speech is a regional dialect. No, it's creeping all over the bleeding country and it's just laziness. Or maybe it is actually becoming a genuine speech impediment like a lisp?

From your writing style you are clearly of decent intelligence. Yet I'm baffled that you thought ("fought") your DW was speaking incorrectly and that "th" and "f" are pronounced the same. You must have spent time with other people who speak correctly - did you think that all of them were mispronouncing words?

SkodaLabia · 21/12/2015 11:12

HowBad, that's really interesting. Where was your former colleague from? I'd love to know the science behind that processing issue.

fresta · 21/12/2015 11:21

I think there are sectors of the population in every region that speak like this- I am in Yorkshire and some people pronounce their th's as f or v, but certainly not everyone. It tends to be a 'class' thing to be honest and if your parents speak like this then you will tend to as well. I think generally it's regarded as incorrect pronunciation rather than an impediment or regional accent.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 21/12/2015 11:26

It tends to be a 'class' thing to be honest

If you read the other accent thread some people vehemently deny this. I, however, agree. I grew up in a deprived area of Essex, and all the kids who did badly at school spoke Estuary English. It's not an "accent" associated with high intelligence, let's face it.

Sallystyle · 21/12/2015 11:32

I can't pronounce TH either.

Than sounds like lan. And There sounds like leer. I also pronounce fan and van the same.

It does actually bother me, and god knows I've tried to say it right for years.

Bunbaker · 21/12/2015 11:36

"It tends to be a 'class' thing to be honest"

Like it or not, I agree. I grew up in Croydon and from personal experience most of the ones who didn't do well spoke poor English.

However, there are exceptions. Speaking badly doesn't necessarily mean the speaker is uneducated or stupid. It just makes them sound uneducated, and it is this perception that many people have in the real world. Anyone who is clever enough to work this out tries to learn to speak properly if they want to get on in life.

Bunbaker · 21/12/2015 11:36

U2 can you not put your tongue between your teeth?

EeyoresTail · 21/12/2015 11:37

This has to be a wind up!
The OP is just waiting for someone to post it's a sign of limited intelligence or to be found in fast food restaurants and it to them descend into a bun fight!

Sallystyle · 21/12/2015 11:40

I have practiced doing it off and on for a very long time. But nope, still can't do it.

helenahandbag · 21/12/2015 11:44

My DP said "free" instead of "three" until I couldn't stand it any longer and made him practice saying it properly Blush

He had no idea that they were different sounds until I pointed it out but has since taught himself to say it correctly.

Bunbaker · 21/12/2015 11:50

Maybe those who find it physically impossible to say "th" either have an overbite (like BIL) or a very short tongue?

Birdie85 · 21/12/2015 11:56

I get irrationally annoyed when I hear people mispronouncing 'th' as I had a few years of speech therapy as a youngster to get it right (I was just a lazy speaker apparently) and I still sometimes have to think about what I'm saying to make sure I make the right sound... yet other people will be quite happy going through life throwing f's in there in error! It's quite a big thing to cock up too. I mean, just read this back with the th's replaced with f/v to see how big a difference it makes!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 21/12/2015 11:57

Speaking badly doesn't necessarily mean the speaker is uneducated or stupid. It just makes them sound uneducated, and it is this perception that many people have in the real world.

Yes, to clarify my earlier point, I'm not saying that everyone who speaks Estuary English is stupid. But to most people, it's associated (rightly or wrongly) with low intelligence.

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