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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to like having grey / white hair : its proves I have lived a good life

100 replies

Ta1kinPeace · 20/12/2015 21:01

I'm not fat, I'm very fit, I'm not a slob
I just do not see why people think that lying about their hair colour makes them look "better"

my hair is salt and pepper but glossy and thick and fits my skin tone

why do so many people (mainly women) feel scared to admit that grey is natural and can / does look fab?

how can women moan about ageism while dyeing their hair every month?
(men too, Obama excepted)

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 20/12/2015 21:26

I think the OP is saying that she's fit and grey, so not a slob.
Whereas I'm on the plump side and grey...Smile

Bearbehind · 20/12/2015 21:27

Grey hair, like any colour, looks better on some people than others.

If you like your grey, then great, if you choose to colour it then that's great too.

To suggest it relects in any way the life you've led is quite frankly ridiculous and potentially offensive.

Original poster
Ta1kinPeace · 20/12/2015 21:27

my first blatant "indira ghandi" streak appeared in my 20s

the fact that I do not dye my hair was often commented on as being "lazy"

when I was overweight I was told that it was because "fat people do not care"

I've done all the permutations
they are bullshit

hair dyeing in men and women is insecurity
nowt else

OP posts:
PinotAndPlaydough · 20/12/2015 21:28

Yikes I'm fat and going grey, what must people think of me Grin

goodiegoodieyumyum · 20/12/2015 21:28

I must have lived a bloody good life by the time I was 5 that's when I got my first white hairs.

DickDewy · 20/12/2015 21:28

It's your choice, but I will be fighting my greys for as long as I am able.

My mum's in her 70s and still has them dyed (lighter than her natural dark hair, but covered nonetheless).

I think grey hair is horrible, I don't want it.

ArcticCactus · 20/12/2015 21:29

No it means the melanocyte stem cell compartment isn't renewing... Confused probably mediated by a bcl2 deficiency

Grey can look lovely and very striking but not everyone 'greys well' - I have a friend with stunning silver hair since his twenties and another whose hair just kind of faded, and she hated it.

Dye or not .. I don't see it as lying, why do you think that?

ArmchairTraveller · 20/12/2015 21:29

So people were mrean and judgy to you, and you are passing that on? Hmm
Break the chain, it's damaging your karma.

TheFirstNoelHeadbands · 20/12/2015 21:30

I don't have a single grey hair yet, probably because I'm a greedy semi-alcoholic slut.

Bearbehind · 20/12/2015 21:30

hair dyeing in men and women is insecurity nowt else

ODFOD Hmm

TheFirstNoelHeadbands · 20/12/2015 21:32

I have dyed my hair different colours in the past though, didn't realise it was because of insecurity. I thought it was just because I wanted to try having different coloured hair. What an idiot!

ArmchairTraveller · 20/12/2015 21:34

I'm always saddened by how nasty women can be to other women on something as shallow and irrelevant as their appearance.

Fairylea · 20/12/2015 21:34

I always find it ridiculous how judgy everyone is about hair colouring (or not). Different people have different ideas of what is attractive and beautiful, it's what makes the world interesting.

My mum is adamant that anyone over a size 16 can never be attractive and she will be dyeing her hair for as long as she is able to as to her grey is a sign of old and old equals unattractive.

I am a size 16-18 and very grey. I think my mum talks a lot of nonsense.

I think confidence and being happy with yourself shine through regardless of whether you're thin / fat / grey / Dyed hair or whatever else. People find all different sorts of people attractive so best to just please yourself, however that is.

Wagglebees · 20/12/2015 21:45

I've coloured my hair since I was about 14 because I like it. I used to like the change. Now I've found a colour I love so I stick to that one.

I've never once dyed my hair because I have a few white hairs. I couldn't give a shiny shit what anyone else thinks. I have no problem with them whatsoever. I know people with long grey hair and it is stunningly beautiful. I know people who colour their hair and it is also stunningly beautiful. They couldn't give a toss what I thought.
Weird to think that people dye their hair for other people. Confused

Caprinihahahaha · 20/12/2015 21:49

I had white hair at 20. I dye my hair now I'm 50.

I think my hair reflects zilch about the life I have lived. I think assuming people who dye their hair are shallow is stupid as all fuck.

SummerNights1986 · 20/12/2015 22:20

Summernights, my mum's 74 and does not have a single grey hair - it is genetic and not a sign of anything

I'm hoping so. I'm 29 and no sign of any grey yet (and I have very dark brown hair so would be noticible). I know plenty of people who start greying as they approach 30 so i'm hoping I follow my mum and keep my colour.

I know a few people who can pull off grey hair very well - most cannot though IMO.

ghostyslovesheep · 20/12/2015 22:35

I am fit, healthy and not fat

I dye my hair red

it's blatantly NOT natural so hardly 'lying' Hmm

Not sure of the actual issue - we all go grey - 'good life' or not

Outaboutnowt · 20/12/2015 22:45

I'm not fat, I'm very fit, I'm not a slob

So? Confused

I just do not see why people think that lying about their hair colour makes them look "better"

Does it? I dye mine and don't think I've had a bad life or that I'm better than anyone else Confused I don't lie either.
But I'm only 25 and don't like having lots of greys I've had them a few years now and it makes me look ill. Totally up to me, nothing to do with you.

I'm not sure I totally get whatever point you're trying to make - but if it makes you happy to not dye your hair then great (no one gives an actual fuck what you do) and let everyone else do their own thing.

MitzyLeFrouf · 20/12/2015 22:49

Grey/white hair is quite fashionable these days, you see lots of women embracing their natural hair colour. Good for them. You even see teens dyeing their hair grey.

I don't have any greys but haven't coloured my hair in 18 months. This will change in the new year, I fancy a dramatic blonde look.

MitzyLeFrouf · 20/12/2015 22:51

If my hair was to change to a really bright silver I'd be happy with that, dull salt and peppery, not so much.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2015 22:56

hair dyeing in men and women is insecurity nowt else

Bollocks.

I have lots of very thick hair, which if left to its natural grey would be completely unmanageable as well as very unflattering (i still have very dark eyebrows and my skin tone hasn't particularly changed)

And whilst I'm not fat, I'm very fit, I'm not a slob may be true, you're still an idiot.

Hair colour is a choice we are all free to make. It does not reflect our character.

OfficeGirl1969 · 20/12/2015 23:12

I'm naturally dark brown haired, and have been going grey since I was twenty (now mid forties) The bloody stuff still hasn't had the good grace to go grey all over yet, so for over half my life my hair has been randomly splodgy grey/brown in various areas. It's uneven and frustrating and I look like a ruddy badger!

Colouring it (I'm currently rocking seriously blonde and love it!) is nothing to do with faking it, defying the ageing process or trying to cover up the type of life I've had, I do it because I don't like the way it looks naturally, and I have the ability to alter that to make myself happy. That's all there is to it.

finetonive · 20/12/2015 23:24

i am not scared of grey but think it looks crap, same as i thought my mousy hair looked crap

This.
Also grey hair ages you by at least 10 years.
Why would you want to do that? when you don't have to?

TheSpectreOfMorningtonCrescent · 20/12/2015 23:27

Insecurity my arse. I've been thin and blonde, fat and blonde, had purple hair, red hair (that was a mistake), straight, permed, long and short. All it proved was I liked to see what my hair looked different to what it was naturally, bit like wearing different clothes and makeup. I'm now oldish and like my "ash" blonde hair. It's hair ffs, who gives a shit?

MitzyLeFrouf · 20/12/2015 23:28

Saying grey looks crap is like saying blonde looks crap.

Yes people who slap the Sun In around generally have crap blonde hair, but lots of blondes look fab.

Same goes for grey. Some shades are just gorgeous.

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