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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask at which stage/age of your life you were the happiest?

108 replies

UpsyDaisy123 · 20/12/2015 20:43

For me it was probably my first pregnancy. I was over the moon to be pregnant after a previous late miscarriage and, after an anxious and nauseous beginning, I had a pretty straightforward time. I felt optimistic at last and there was so much I was looking forward to.

OP posts:

Elllicam · 21/12/2015 15:32

Now and the last couple of years, have a gorgeous 3 year old and 18 month old, a husband I love, a home I love, a course I enjoy, starting a business. Not all roses I don't like my job very much and I am a worrier but I'm happy :)

slicedfinger · 21/12/2015 15:35

Apart from right now, also when I was pregnant with DD2. After tough baby years DD1 was a delightful toddler. It was a gorgeous time. After an exceptionally tough few years, I'd say now is great too, for different reasons.

WavingNotDrowning · 21/12/2015 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moonriver1 · 21/12/2015 15:49

Mid 30s definitely. Looked great, felt great, had my babies.

Now I am late 40s and though I am not decrepit or desperately unhappy, I feel the golden age has gone (I also hate my husband today which is not helping ).

Mince314 · 21/12/2015 15:52

it's a relief to read a post like that magimedi. So often we're led to believe that it's all ''downhill from here''.

I'm single though and although I recognise that I'm fine now I worry that being single will impede my opportunity to be content in my 50s and 60s. I want somebdoy to do things with and I have only recently attempted to find that person and it seems to be too late. That depresses me, but luckily now I know that everything goes in cycles. I could be feeling so totally at peace with that same thought in a year.

magimedi · 21/12/2015 15:59

Am certain it's not 'too late' Mince. I know of many people who have found someone in their 50's - there are loads of singles of your age around. In fact I think that there are more divorces amongst the 50/60 year old than any other age!

And although I have (& love DH) we both do many things on our own, including trips away. I've had some great breaks on my tod.

Salmiak · 21/12/2015 16:03

Right now things are perfect. I'm 34, in a happy relationship, 2 lovely dc, plenty of friends and I just feel surrounded by love.

My childhood was a clusterfuck of misery, my mum died when I was 6, my dad was an alcoholic, my wicked step mother came straight out of a fairy tale and my teens were filled with self loathing and destruction.

I am amazed at how happy and normal my life is now, I just want to grab this stage of my life and lock every single day in my memories

Mince314 · 21/12/2015 16:07

Thanks magimedi. They all marry women half their age. Well, that's not possible, there wouldn't be enough women to go round. So, I mustn't give up.

KittyOShea · 21/12/2015 16:14

Yes don't give up mince. Some guys take forever before they're ready to settle down.

Like magimedi my friends are hugely important to me too. They become a second family when you marry later I think (I was 38 when I got married)

With 40s being tough I'm glad to hear things get better too

magimedi · 21/12/2015 17:22

mince - most of the second marriages of older divorcees I know are not to people hlaf their age - 5/8 years seems to be the average.

Kitty - Where I am now would have been unbelievable to me in my 40's. It's very peaceful as well as being lots of fun.

absolutelynotfabulous · 21/12/2015 17:28

I think when I was 30-33. I'd bought a house, had a decent job with prospects, I was at my slimmest (shallow) and I felt I could do anything, and achieve anything. I had a cool car, nice clothes and travelled the world.

Now? I'm fat, menopausal, broke and dumped..and almost unemployed.

Hoppinggreen · 21/12/2015 17:37

I remember thinking on my 30th Birthday that I was really happy. We were about to get married, I loved my job And we had just moved into our dream house.
I am actually really happy now too. DD has got into the school we wanted, we have a successful business that makes us financially secure and we are getting a puppy of the type I have always wanted next week. We have had a tough couple of years as well but now everything that was causing me major stress has been settled so I am very happy right now!!

shebird · 21/12/2015 17:53

Loved my 20's, lots of fun, great friends, no responsibilities and traveled the world. So glad I lived a little before marriage and kids.

HackerFucker22 · 21/12/2015 18:57

Had a few fantastic experiences aged 22-27 (partying / traveling) Then had an amazing few years when I met my DP.

Then def my first pregnancy had 3 losses and was under recurrent miscarriage team My first pregnancy wad a dream and I felt amazing. It wasn't just finally having a successful pregnancy either. I genuinely felt very serene, healthy and content.

MamaLazarou · 21/12/2015 19:17

Now. I had a shit childhood and a miserable youth but I married my dream husband and have a fine, healthy son. We have enough, and enough is everything. I am very thankful.

FlowersAndShit · 21/12/2015 19:28

For a brief time in 2001 when I was 10 years old on holiday. Had a pretty difficult childhood/teen years and only recently overcoming some of my MH issues. The only thing I want is to meet a really nice man who gets me and to have children, but I worry i've missed out on so much that I may miss out on that too.

TartanBirdFeeder · 21/12/2015 19:33

When I haven't been married. The rest, having children, not having children has been, and is, great. Being married stinks though.

Moonriver1 · 21/12/2015 19:39

Being married is a bit shit, I grant you, Tartan.

Even being married to someone who's not a total arsehole is a bit shit.

I know some people are properly happy and in love, but absolutely every single woman I personally know finds it agonising half the time and is certainly not 'happy'. Their husbands generally are though!

You are not allowed to gender stereotype on Mumsnet but I will - men are basically selfish creatures in my experience and my observation.

NoonAim · 21/12/2015 19:47

Early 30s, three little children, lots of good friends and neighbours and a husband who loved me. And my mum and dad who are sadly no longer with us.

We had so little money but it was such a happy, happy time.

lorelei9 · 21/12/2015 19:52

I'm beginning to think a lot of people don't like being in relationships but stay in them.

I didn't like being a kid but I liked being a teenager which is not the usual way round!

leaningtoweroflego · 21/12/2015 19:57

Mid to late teens. Made lots of fantastic friends (still my best friends over 20 years later), had a ball. Was old enough to be able to act as if I was an adult but with none of the responsibility.

And still young enough to feel invincible, and naive enough to believe that everyone is a good person really and love will conquer all. Am an old cynic now!

TartanBirdFeeder · 21/12/2015 19:58

Maybe women should use a man to have children and then set up in a relationship with another woman!

lighteningirl · 21/12/2015 20:00

Now early fifties mortgage cleared dc both successful happy adults gorgeous new dh and new beloved ddog can't believe this is my life. Mind you I also loved bits of my twenties having babies (despite a vile bullying exdh) and I did have some very good times as a single mum.

TimeToMuskUp · 21/12/2015 20:05

Now. I have a job I love, the DCs (10 and 4) are easy (in comparison to the baby years) and I'm financially solvent and independent of anyone, including DH (that sounds awful, I don't mean I don't want him, I just don't need him, the distinction is odd but important to me). I'm 34 and have my health, my own teeth and have learned - after years of practise - how to make my hair swishy. Frankly, I doubt life gets much better than this.

lorelei9 · 21/12/2015 20:14

Tartan, I'm not anti man at all, just don't want a relationship or children.

Time, I get that distinction totally, doesn't seem odd at all.

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