To ask ds to wear a pull up this Xmas

[RedHead80]

We are staying with my SIL this Xmas (24 to the 27th).

My 12 yo ds still wets the bed most nights but has stopped wearing pull ups because he is embarrassed by them. I perfectly understand so just use a mattress protector and tolerate wet bedding.

However I think it's unfair on my SIL and her husband if he doesn't wear a pull up. I also think it would be more embarrassing for him to wet someone else's bed.

I'm worried that just by asking him he will get upset.

I would tell your SIL and say you will bring a mattress protector and bedding. I would also talk to your GP and DS about what can be done for this visit.

Poor kid. I agree with Ledkr, surely wetting the bed would be more embarassing?

It's nothing I be ashamed about, but the 'grown up' thing to do is to try and minimise additional work for your SIL.

I think I'd find it hard not to be annoyed if a regular bed wetter wet the bed in my house and soaked the duvet, mattress etc because they thought pull ups were babyish.

Take your own bedding. Mattress protector. The bed pads and pull ups and get him to work with you to come up with a solution.

Does he help clear up at home? might be worth getting him to help strip the bed, get the wash on, hang the sheets up, remake the bed etc because then using pads or whatever might seem like an easier option.

I surprised you've only had one apt at the enuresis clinic. We saw the paediatrician first then this nurse who gave us the alarm then we have a follow up in 3 weeks.

What about the tena pants and a sleeping bag? My DS did this then would remove them in the bag for me to deal with later on. Dry nites didn't hold enough for us.

Now on 240mg desmopressin melts which work well.

BeyondJinglebells He wees quite heavily but only once a night I think. I always thought drynites werw better thank pull ups. With Ds2 we had regular leakes with huggies pull ups. I was told to use drynites as they were more like a nappy rather than training pants... Urrrg I don't know.

U2HasTheEdge Yes it runs in the family. My DD is 5 and still in nappies as well. Unfortunately mine didn't escape lol.

Idefix SIL doesn't know and tbh I don't really want her knowing. Although I can get along with her she is rather judgmental and I have no doubt she will tell everyone willing to listion.

I didn't say it was clearly a psychological thing. I said it could be. Because sometimes it is.

I have an 8 year old bed wetter and we are away over Xmas but in hotels, as there are 6 of us so hard to stay with people. I have sat down and calmly talked about itwith her.

We have agreed she is going to wear the Huggies dry nites 8-15. And I got a pack of 25 disposable bed mats (seemed to be aimed for elderly incontinent people) for £9.99 off Amazon, came next day. They are a very good size. So I am going to put them on the bed too. And am a taking nappy sacs to put the pull-ups and bed mats into for the bin.

I just explained that it wasn't fair on the hotel and other people staying there to have a bed that had been wet. She reluctantly accepted but understood why we are doing it at 8 so a 12 year old should get it reluctantly too.

Desmopressin and the alarm don't work for her. So we are back to the clinic again in Jan for review.

Ask him to wear protective pants and take bed protectors with you. Explain much better than having to explain to sil about wet bedding every morning. Plus I'd be annoyed if you didn't protect bed knowing he has a problem - plus not everyone has spare duvets

It's really not fair for your Sil to have wet bedding to deal with - she's hosting you and it's going to be busy enough for her without having to wash bedding each morning.
If she's judgy as well it's really not a good thing for long term family harmony to let him wet the bed. If he is discrete no one needs to find out about it.
Your ds needs to make some arrangements to deal with this, like bed pads and inco pants or something similar.

If you can persuade him, double up on the drynites, one on top of the other. You could also double make the bed - put a protector and another sheet (yours) on top of what is already on the bed. It's difficult and I sympathise, mine wets at 11 and my eldest did for a long time then suddenly stopped.

Whatever pads etc you decide on I'd also suggest using a sleeping bag. dd wet the bed fairly regularly until she was quite old. I always used to worry about sleepovers etc. She once wet the bed at a guide sleepover, but the sleeping bag absorbed everything and she could strip off while still in the sleeping bag so nobody realised and there was no embarrassment for her.

Whatever you do I think your DS is old enough to take responsibility for not drinking fizzy drinks later on in the evening, surely this could prevent the problem altogether. You need to at least rule this out before his next appointment or considering medication.
And I know it is not simple, I wet the bed till 11plus so you both have my full sympathy.

If DS2 is away he will steer clear of anything except water after dinner to try and avoid the problem. Combined with a later bedtime (and wee) and an early morning, nights away were the closest to dry he'd ever get.

Have you looked at the Eric website? Having had a bed wetter I would really be kicking off a fuss and getting another appointment at the clinic. An alarm is the first thing they will try but there's lots of other options. He needs to stay clear of fizzy drinks though, and blackcurrent, especially late afternoon / evening. If my ds has a Coke late afternoon / evening he knows he will wet, luckily he has learnt not to.

Could you fib to sil that he has a bladder infection? That would explain drinking water rather than Coke, and give a reason for the dry nights, plus explanation if they leak? And protect his pride a little? Also agree dry bite plus sleeping bag is v discreet- take it off inside the bag!

Hi OP

My daughter attended the enuresis clinic age 7.

The first thing they gave her was desmopressin but actually, it didn't work for her. Hers was not medical, it was purely the messages bladder to brain weren't working.

She was given an alarm. It was hell. But we followed through and it did work. Took about a week.

Did the clinic ask a billion questions? Size of wet patch etc?
Did you feel they were interested and helpful and does your son actively want to be dry so listened along too?

My DS is 5. He will wet the bed once a week or fortnight. If he's really really tired. I have to make sure he has had a wee three times before bed.
At 6.30 ish. 7.30 ish and again at lights out after story etc. If he can't do one then, I sometimes walk him to go when I go to bed.

Not judging but happy to chat and talk over the how to get dry it as well as the practical Christmas question.

I would explain you cannot do the washing at your sisters so that together you need another plan. Does he have any ideas????