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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL and marmite

56 replies

anastasialow · 19/12/2015 22:20

SIL has form for giving me a bad rep to MIL and other people, by passing on speculation about me and DH and information about me that is not true. MIL and I have a language barrier and her age (she is 90 and does not seem to cotton on to what SIL is trying to do) to contend with. This has been something that SIL has done since DH and I started dating and I am constantly hearing through the grapevine things that she has said about me. For eg she told MIL/wider family/mutual friends that I'd had plastic surgery (I hadn't!) and also that DH had told me to lose weight or he would divorce me (he didn't!)

Anyway, the latest drama is as follows: when we visited BIL and SIL in the country that they live over the summer, I asked them a few days before we went if they wanted anything from the UK. SIL said she wanted a jar of marmite. Fine. Only problem is, I forgot, and by the time it was a few hours til we went to the airport I couldn't get one, so I took them a huge bottle of champagne and chocolates and apologised profusely, offering to send them one as soon as I was back. SIL said no need, no need, didn't matter. It was over and not a big deal - as far as I thought.

Next thing I know - 4 weeks later MIL calls me and she is in tears. She makes me promise not to tell SIL. SIL apparently hasn't been able to let go of the hurt she feels that I did not remember the jar of marmite and she feels it reflects badly on my character and for not keeping my word and that I don't care about her or think about other people. This took up four phone calls between myself and MIL, with her dithering over whether I should call SIL and make an attempt to apologise to her again for not bringing the marmite (FFS!)

We will be spending Christmas Day with all of them.

WIBU to do a naked photoshoot of myself lying in a bath of marmite and give it to SIL as a Christmas present? WIBU to have a tonne of marmite delivered to her house for Christmas? WIBU to ask any of you for any better ideas of what I could do with marmite to really hammer the point home to SIL?

OP posts:
TeaStory · 19/12/2015 22:25

Serve Marmite everything.

Marmite soup for a starter.
Marmite-glazed vegetables, Marmite dip, pigs in Marmite.
Marmite ice cream.

SIL sounds like a drama llama.

whois · 19/12/2015 22:27

Why doesn't DH sort of his bitch of a sister and drama lama mother? I'd be moving the uktimatum 'sort your crazy family out or I'm never spending another minute in their company again'

Theworldmakesnosense · 19/12/2015 22:27

Take your SIL a jar of marmite and ram it up her whiny arse! Grin

LottieDoubtie · 19/12/2015 22:27

SIL sounds exhausting.

~Give her 50 jars of the stuff, wrapped individually.

TheSpottedZebra · 19/12/2015 22:28

On the basis that marmite smears can look a bit... faecal, i think you should do a dirty protest. But with marmite.

AbbyCadabra · 19/12/2015 22:29

Buy the teeniest jar possible and gift wrap it in a huge and beautifully decorated box.

CrapWreathKeith · 19/12/2015 22:30

59 jars would be too expensive. Get the to the cash and carry, buy 100 individual portions like the ones you get at breakfast in hotels and then post them to her one by one without stamps

cherrytree63 · 19/12/2015 22:31

Isn't Marmite doing the personalised jars at the moment? "cuntyflaps" maybe?

Blueprintorange · 19/12/2015 22:33

Order one of the personalised jars of marmite and make a really big deal out of handing it over to her at the dinner table!

BrianButterfield · 19/12/2015 22:36

Well, if someone had promised me Marmite and didn't bring it, I would be gutted! But I wouldn't go bad mouthing them (much) behind their back.

Perhaps build a Christmas tree out of Twiglets?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 19/12/2015 22:37

Get a big jar (a glass one), wrap it carefully, drop it several times. Post it.

AbbyCadabra · 19/12/2015 22:38

Empty the jar and fill it with something else.

Personalise the jar but spell her name wrong.

originalmavis · 19/12/2015 22:39

Large jar. Empty jar. Poo in jar. Wrap with a nice bow...

TopHat33 · 19/12/2015 22:39

Buy her something that she really wants - a beautiful vase or item of clothing - and smear it with marmite.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 19/12/2015 22:42

Put Marmite everywhere.

Random pots of it in the bathroom, under her pillow, on the table next to the cranberry sauce.

Have some individual sachets of it arranged in bowls in the manner of pot pourri/bombay mix/guest soaps.

MammaTJ · 19/12/2015 22:43

Get someone from Australia to send you their piss poor alternative for marmite - Vegemite, and give her that instead! That will serve her right for being such a nasty person!

Topseyt · 19/12/2015 22:43

What a ridiculous melodrama from your SIL over a jar or marmite.

If you really must spend Christmas with them (and I would be mighty reluctant there, based on what you say) then I agree that you should make a big jar of it her Christmas present. Just tie some tinsel round it. Sorted.

She probably won't like that though, or see the funny side, but tough.

ouryve · 19/12/2015 22:45

Bake her some chocolate cupcakes with a neat marmite glaze.

And take everything she says with a liberal pinch of salt dollop of marmite, in the future.

Nydj · 19/12/2015 22:45

Twenty boxes of twiglets as her present - no pure marmite.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 19/12/2015 22:45

I would 100% give it to her for Xmas. With a huge bow.

GloopyGhoul · 19/12/2015 22:47

Buy her all the different marmite-branded tat you can find: mug, teapot, t-shirt etc...but no actual marmite.

Topseyt · 19/12/2015 22:47

Thereafter, every year her Christmas present from me would be Marmite. Whether she liked that or not.

KP86 · 19/12/2015 22:48

Hey! Vegemite is awesome ;)

Some of these suggestions have me giggling in bed.

SIL sounds like a pain. Tell her to order her down damn Marmite and have it shipped. A container's worth should do it, I think.

FadedRed · 19/12/2015 22:51

Gift token for a day trip to 'to take the air' in Burton on Trent.

Lj8893 · 19/12/2015 22:53

Bhs are selling lots of marmite branded gift stuff. Do her a whole stocking full of marmite stuff.