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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be bored shitless?!

48 replies

Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 18:18

I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable or not! I'm 12 weeks pregnant and bored every weekend. As I haven't shared the news with anyone but DM and DH, I've not met up with friends as I didn't want to lie/ be questioned about not drinking. However, all I have done in the last 12 weeks is eat, sleep, work, walk the dog and go to the gym. Anyone got any ideas of prego friendly activities that I can do?

OP posts:
TheBunnyOfDoom · 19/12/2015 18:22

Can't you just go out with your friends and go for lunch/shopping/coffee? I don't see why you have to stay in just because you don't want them to know you're pregnant? Confused

Artandco · 19/12/2015 18:22

Did you never do anything that doesnt involve drinking?

Bike ride, swimming, afternoon tea, cinema, walk somewhere , visit friends/ family, meal out, a local attraction, etc

museumum · 19/12/2015 18:25

All the things you can't do with a toddler - cinema, browse book shops, browse anywhere actually, read the papers, lazy brunch.
I miss the cinema. Ds is 2 and I've been twice since his baby cinema days which only really worked till he was about 6 mo.

Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 18:26

Well I suppose because the first few weeks I felt awful, now I feel much better but I really don't wan't people to know. My close friends live in London, about two hours away, and local friends aren't really those type of friends if you see what I mean. As in they are going out on a night out friends. Feeling lonely and isolated and bored!

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 18:27

I'm on mat leave and bored too. I'm not a big "going out" type but I've lost the ability to concentrate on much so my brain is turning to mush. Have no friends locally either :(

Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 18:30

I am the first one in my group of friends to be pregnant/ married and am struggling with the feelings of isolation. Of course I used to do things that didn't involve drinking, but all my close friends have moved away or live in different parts of the country. The ones I'm left with are still wanting to go out bar hopping. I guess I'm just worried I'm going to have no friends, once the baby arrives!

OP posts:
TheBunnyOfDoom · 19/12/2015 18:45

You need to sign up for some classes - NCT or the like to get to know other new mums. Can you ask your midwife for some classes or something you could join?

Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 19:00

That's a great idea- I didn't know if I was too early on in pregnancy to do this?

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 19:04

I've missed out on my NCT classes due to being ill, which I'm really worried about - no peer group. I'll have to rely on baby groups, I think.

OP, you can book NCT now but it won't be until you're 7 months pregnant or so.

Pipestheghost · 19/12/2015 19:06

Cinema, theatre, swimming. Make the most of your child free time Smile

museumum · 19/12/2015 19:28

I started preggy yoga at 8 weeks but I had to sneak in to the class until I went public at 13 weeks.
Nct won't start this early but waiting lists might depending where you are!

multivac · 19/12/2015 19:29

#ultimatefirstworldproblem

SaucyJack · 19/12/2015 19:30

I always found lying on the floor with a sick bowl was a good way to keep busy in early pg.....

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 19:44

Helpful, multivac.

museumum · 19/12/2015 19:45

Mean multivac Hmm
Pregnancy is a taster of how much life changes with children, particularly if you don't know others with children it can be a shock.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 19:52

Damn right, it's a massive headfuck. I'm thinking about the birth, breastfeeding, how none of my close friends are on this path, how much my life will change, how I actually don't feel anything like myself and all the old activities that make me 'me' have lost their appeal so I have no idea what to do with myself except argue with twats on MN.

But I'm not a Syrian refugee or a starving African child so I guess I should just shut the fuck up.

Windingstreamswithoutends · 19/12/2015 20:03

I found pregnancy very dull to be honest - spent the first 3 months in virtual hibernation over the Xmas period so no-one found out.

In terms of making friends having a baby is a great time to meet new people. I found it was the first time since Uni where you can just randomly start chatting to a stranger and suggest meeting up and people don't think you're weird/ desperate!

Pregnancy yoga is good
Sign up for NCT as soon as poss as they do book up (hate NCT as an organisation but the friends you make are invaluable)
There are other things such as daisy birthing classes too
Once baby is born there will be endless coffee mornings, baby bounce classes etc where you can meet people

goodnightdarthvader1 NCT also do early days courses in lots of areas

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 19/12/2015 20:03

I believe this is the time when you can start plotting the novel you'll write when on maternity leave Xmas WinkGrin

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 20:14

Winding, I forgot that, thank you!

Needtobebetter · 19/12/2015 20:34

I think pregnancy and having children can be somewhat isolating even if you have loads of friends, I too was the first of my friends to have children so they weren't all that interested once the party/celebration was out of the way. You'll meet lots of people at baby groups and classes so don't worry, your current friends will still be friends but you'll probably do things with them that don't involve the baby.

Honestly, use this time to do as much as you can that you can't really do with a child. I know it's a cliche but when I look back I could bash myself in the head for how stubborn I was about this. I was all like 'I can still do all the things I do now, having a baby won't change me or the things I do blah blah bollocks'. Of course, I can still go to a coffee shop and read a book over a nice hot latte, except I hold the book in one hand with a baby under my arm whilst I'm running after my toddler - the latte remains untouched and ice cold. Oh, and I should add it's in a take out cup with a lid because it won't smash or make as much mess when one of the children knocks it over deliberately.

Read, swim, window shop, go for coffee, paint your nails, visit a spa, have mum to be treatments, meet friends for lunch. You're 12 weeks now so it's only a matter of time become they guess even if you don't tell them. You don't have to do a massive reveal you know, I felt quite daunted about announcing and so I just did it really quietly and in casual, passing conversation. Contrary to popular belief, that's how most people do it and once it's out in the open everyone just goes on with their normal lives.

Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 20:39

Thank you for all of your advice and support. Bar Multivac, you have all been helpful. Am new to mumsnet, but it seems to be that on most threads there is a sad individual or two, who takes the time to write something pointless and twatty.
I think I will look into pregnancy yoga and the NCT classes. And massively agree with goodnight- it well and truly is a head f*ck. Have just booked myself and the DH into a luxury spa tomorrow to cheer myself up!

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 20:41

Where in the country are you, OP?

Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 20:42

Oh and I absolutely agree with the opposite of "big reveals"! I am a naturally very private person and would hate the thought of people knowing my business. Even if it will become increasingly more obvious...

OP posts:
Original poster
Pregasaurusrex · 19/12/2015 20:45

I'm in Bristol.

OP posts:
Orda1 · 19/12/2015 20:48

Um... I don't really understand why you can't carry on as normal, just without the drink? Surely your leisure time didn't just revolve around drunk before? Cinema, meal out, sports, tea and cake, visiting family, not sure why you'd have to stop any of these.