To expect DH to spend Christmas with my family abroad while I am suffering with morning sickness?

[Vespar7]

I live abroad (where DH's family come from) and am currently back in the UK for a month for the Christmas period. This was planned a while ago and DH is due to join me for 2 weeks of the trip. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant with DC3 and am having awful morning sickness again. Last time I was admitted to hospital and was put on a drip a number of times. I would have totally cancelled the trip but my best friend is getting married and I am bridesmaid and my son a page boy. DH is now complaining that he doesn't want to come to the UK just to sit around with the kids as I have said that I most probably won't be up for going on day trips. 2 years ago when I was pregnant he ruined Christmas by being such a miserable sod that I will probably tell him to do what the hell he wants but IABU to think he should support me when I am feeling so awful and have been looking after the kids alone for the past 2 weeks while he has been back home? I guess I am after feedback before I have a massive row! Thanks

I'm also a bit at you being unable to do day trips with your family but ok to do the wedding tbh, sorry. You're either suffering or not & if you are then the wedding would be a no go as well surely?

Because you drag yourself out for a friend's wedding as it's important to them, especially if you're involved. It doesn't mean that you feel up to it or able to do lots of days out..,

I had HG with all my pregnancies.
I missed so many important events - even my god daughter's christening.
However - with loads of bed rest I might just have been able to get through one occasion if it was a "good day". A good day in this context would have been only vomiting 3 or 4 times although feeling very nauseous all the time. I can understand why the Op wants to try and make it to the wedding.

I think her DH should come over for a few days and as soon as the wedding is over he should take all the DC home so that OP can continue to rest.

If he can't even look after his own DC then his parents can help.

Struggling through a wedding, having rested completely for days beforehand, is completely different from struggling through regular day trips.

If the OP has been admitted to hospital in previous pregnancies we are not talking about normal morning sickness here.

Lack of understanding of severe pregnancy sickness enrages me because I had to put up with so many people telling me to pull myself together because it was only morning sickness.

I lost my first pregnancy due to HG.

How can you be bridesmaid if you are ill? Either you have sickness or you don't, you can't pick and choose when it suits you

Lack of understanding of severe pregnancy sickness enrages me because I had to put up with so many people telling me to pull myself together because it was only morning sickness.

Yes! Argh, it's infuriating.

I made it to a wedding when horrendously sick. Spent half of it in a hotel room lying on the floor and/or throwing up, and didn't manage any dancing or indeed most of the reception, but I was determined to be there for their vows.

Doesn't mean I wasn't really that I'll, or that I could have managed a month's worth of day trips just so my DH didn't have to bother himself

Thanks for all the replies. It has been interesting seeing it from another angle. Normally DH is great but he seems to be incapable of behaving normally when I am ill with morning sickness. As others have said I will be dragging myself to the wedding because she is my best friend. I am sick repeatedly every day and feel sick almost the whole day so I can't imagine wanting to go out to museums everyday. I might manage it a couple of times. I guess I am being a bit selfish as I don't want to be without my kids but they are only 3 and 1. We will be staying with a friend who is not around much so not like he has to say with in-laws. I know it won't be ideal for him but I think he should suck it up as it's not like I'm having the time of my life either and the rest of the year we are with his family and friends.

Fairenuff actually you can. Have you ever read the Spoon sickness analogy?

I find it a very useful way to explain hyperemesis. The sufferer has to get through each day; there's no other option. But you can choose how to use your energy and what you use it on. I was signed off work for 4 months because I needed to save my spoons to parent my 18 month old. Other people could step in to do my work, my DD only has one mummy.

Vespar7 is saving her spoons for her best friend's wedding (hopefully a once in a lifetime event) & might be able to muster up some more for some short trips to spend time with her 1 & 3 year old.