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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect a Christmas card that isn't from a 'pack of five' from close family?

192 replies

SurferJet · 17/12/2015 12:05

I know cards can be expensive, but it's only once a year & I'd like to think I'm getting a card that's had a bit more thought behind it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 17/12/2015 12:31

You buy a card that says 'sister' and you think this indicates 'thought'?

How can that be?

AnnaMarlowe · 17/12/2015 12:31

Good Lord woman, get a hold of yourself!

You'd rather not gave a card if it isn't special expensive enough.

I think you are missing the point - open the offending card, read the message that's the point.

firesidechat · 17/12/2015 12:32

The only people I send cards like that to are my mum and dad.

Personally I think greetings cards are one big commercial scam. Yes, I know not everyone will agree with me, but I think Christmas card makers know that card sending is declining and do anything to make us buy their overpriced scraps of paper. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see cards produced for the window cleaner's dog.

Sorry, rant over. It's honestly the only thing I'm scrooge like over Christmas. Everything else is lovely.

SurferJet · 17/12/2015 12:32

Ok, I'll have to accept I'm being unreasonable.
< wanders off mumbling >

OP posts:
wanderingwondering · 17/12/2015 12:34

Yep-yabu. My friend spends at least £30 on these sorts of cards every year. It's ridiculous. Surely message they (the giver, not the card company!) write inside the card should be the main 'effort' put into a card.

firesidechat · 17/12/2015 12:35

I also have huge trouble finding a suitable card for my parents that expresses what I actually feel. The poems are so over the top, and while I love my parents, they really aren't the most wonderful and supportive parents in the entire world.

FauxFox · 17/12/2015 12:36

Really? You are offended by being given a Christmas card because it's not 'individual'? Good grief Confused

Be offended if your family are unsupportive, if they don't return your calls or help you out if you're in a jam, if they don't step up when you ask for a favour and if they show no interest in learning your news or sharing good times.

Do not be offended because they gave you the wrong card.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 17/12/2015 12:36

I get annoyed by those "to my miscellaneous relation" cards. The person who wrote them is not my mother/sister/loved one. Everything about the sentiment comes from a stranger.

Give me a crappy card and a personal message that you've written yourself. That's how I know I'm particularly close to the person who sent it, and their sentiments are real.

Chippednailvarnish · 17/12/2015 12:37

Well I always wondered who had the time, the money and the inclination to buy into a card manufacturers sales strategy of producing twee cards that cover every possible personal relationship.

And now I know. Happy Christmas OP and may you receive stacks of multi pack cards, bought in the January sales for 10p that reflect your snobby un-christmasy attitude.

And I hope they put glitter inside them. Grin

Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2015 12:37

Ah sorry op, I don't like individual cards either.

It dawned on me this year when dh and I were in the card shop and he spent £10+ on cards I thought what a complete waste of money.

My sister will be really annoyed this year but I'm just not doing it.

ExitPursuedByABear · 17/12/2015 12:39

I had never really come across these until I met DH.

I was astounded that you could buy cards that said

To a Dear Brother and His Partner.

And I never, ever, ever understand sending cards to the family you live with.

squishee · 17/12/2015 12:40

Yep, YABU

molyholy · 17/12/2015 12:41

YABU. Cards are officially (in my head) a complete and utter waste of money and resources.

^^ This x 1000000

WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes · 17/12/2015 12:41

Oh, I've never bought an individual Christmas card in my life. Don't think I've ever been given one either, just doesn't happen in my or DH's family, we all use multipack ones for everyone.

Roussette · 17/12/2015 12:43

I only send cards to people I don't see over Christmas. Why on earth anyone sends Christmas cards to people they live with is beyond me. I prefer a hug and a verbal "Happy Christmas" and a few packs of charity cards (I have a favourite charity)

As for individual cards I always thought they were a bit of a joke, have never come across anyone who's bought them!

LemonySmithit · 17/12/2015 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippednailvarnish · 17/12/2015 12:44

Just for you OP

AIBU to expect a Christmas card that isn't from a 'pack of five' from close family?
PeasOnEarth · 17/12/2015 12:47

I think you are going a bit far - "rather not have one at all" and I hate those cards with the names/relationship 9n. But, we always bought individual - nice, very much according to the taste of the receiver - cards for very close family. My sister stopped and my MIL doesn't, I make the vast majority of my cards anyway. So I buy one for DH and sometimes mu aunt who is my closest relative otherwise.

I also have tried to learn that just because I try to show my love by the card, what I write, and how well I've planned it, plenty of other people - most people perhaps - don't think that way. That's ok. They still love me just as much. Nothing is lacking.

OP do you have this sort of attitude to presents as well? Just wonder how you handle that one.

confusedofengland · 17/12/2015 12:47

We get these sort from the ILs & my grandparents. I think they are nice enough, but it doesn't bother me that other family members don't buy them.

We send, to close family, either cards that D.C. have done at school, or the DC make cards themselves by sticking pictures from old cards onto paper (we save old cards for this & for gift tags). I'm hoping this is seen as thoughtful rather than naff Grin

leccybill · 17/12/2015 12:49

Card Factory are legendary for this. Went in yesterday for the only personalised card I buy, for my grandma as she expects it... and saw:
Thanks for minding the dog over Christmas
Across the Miles from
On your December birthday... I mean, wtf?!

EponasWildDaughter · 17/12/2015 12:49

Mum? Is that you? Grin

I think the whole card sending thing is going out of fashion. With the under 40s anyway. Only 2 of DHs siblings now send a card, the other 2 send everyone e.cards or bung a message on FB.

So many (of the 1000001 cards sent to my mum are from people who she has to look up to remember who the heck they are! And then she duly sends one back! Madness.

Sameshitdiffname · 17/12/2015 12:50

The fact you get a card at all proves you're being thought about.

MardyBra · 17/12/2015 12:52

I think "to s special couple" cards are unbearably twee. Do you get them from Clintons? And go they have a "nice" poem in them?

MoaningAtTheGates · 17/12/2015 12:53

Oh God.

I can't stand all those "to my sister's best friend's cat" cards.

It is no more personal to buy one of those than get one out the pack. People spend all of 11 seconds as they scan the display for one for each relevant relative.

My grandmother is obsessed with ones with the 'right' name on it. But, tbh, I'd rather she actually wrote a message inside (which she doesn't. She can btw. I'm not talking about a situation where it's old age/disability).

EponasWildDaughter · 17/12/2015 12:53

leccy yesterday i was looking at mother and partner, mother and step father', father and partner, father and stepmother, step daughter and partner, step grandmother, step cousin twice removed, yours, mine, theirs, ours plus the dog ........

jeez just send a basic happy xmas card! Grin

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