He still comes to mine when I go to work on a Monday and Tuesday as well as picking them up and bringing them back there on those days as well. He did this every day for a year after moving out, but I have now made my own arrangements for Weds, Thurs am and Fri to cut down on the amount of time he has to spend on my house (has nowhere suitable to take them) and to ensure he is not seen as primary carer for divorce- he was sahp before we split.
This morning he turned up as we were about to leave for CM, claiming he had forgotten. I think he meant it as he does forget stuff and he was really irritable - as if annoyed with himself. I told him to leave, he said to just text the CM but I was not prepared to do that - not fair on her or the dc to disrupt the routine.
Cue ds1 crying that he is so tired and doesn't want to rush out to the CM's. Ex told me it was my fault and it's not fair on the dc, and then he left. Ds continued to cry and I had to let the CM know and drop him off upset.
It was awful. Although they were basically fine before ex turned up, both dc had already been moaning about having to leave the house earlier on my days than ex's, with ds2 telling me he doesn't like me for this reason.
I feel shit now, and am questioning whether I did the right thing. Not only that, I am scared ex will use this in the divorce proceedings and claim they would be better off with him - though I know he doesn't want them full time, but I do think he will use it against me to upset me. I know I need to stop him coming to the house, but I am waiting for mediation in the NY to discuss it - it was bad enough last time I changed the arrangements and I don't want to do it on my own again.
I am dreading going home tonight as he will be there and considering staying in work late and not taking ds2 to ballet (the reason we both need to be around tonight ideally) . But that will also make me feel guilty, despite ds already saying he doesn't want to go this week anyway. Also dreading Christmas as ex will spend the day with us.
Anyway, WIBU not to let him take them?