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AIBU?

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Would it be dreadful to do an audit of who sent us Christmas cards this year...

109 replies

CruCru · 16/12/2015 14:10

...and then next year only send them to people who send them to us? I send about 100 cards and it takes up quite a lot of time (and cost). There are people who I know haven't got round to it (just moved house, new baby etc) which is fair enough but I'm sure that I send cards year after year to people who don't send me one.

I must point out that I love doing cards but I only want to send cards to people who enjoy getting them. I assume that people who choose not to send cards don't care very much whether they receive them.

I've never gone through the Christmas cards before because I don't think it is Quite In The Spirit Of Christmas but perhaps it is time.

OP posts:
Wagglebees · 16/12/2015 17:53

Fuck em Wine we'll write one to ourselves next year and spend the money we save on chocolate and wine and more gold pens Wine

Windingstreamswithoutends · 16/12/2015 17:56

Cards make my heart sink as I just feel a pang of guilt that I don't do them. They're a massive waste of space and time though which is why I don't!

Namechangenell · 16/12/2015 17:59

Ooh, interesting. This is our fourth Xmas overseas and just this year, I've decided to keep an eye on the cards we get back. I feel like we send loads, both to people back home and friends here, but there are some people who just never reciprocate (not that there's any bad feeling, they just can't be arsed). I've always sent cards as I like doing it, and two DC born just before Xmas each time, didn't stop me those years either.

Maybe I'll just do family next year. I agree that it's slightly galling to always be the one who sends. I do think there's something to be said for social media replacing people's need to keep in touch like this - everyone knows what everyone is doing anyway through FB and so on, so it's hardly like the round robins of yesteryear are needed these days.

TeaFathers · 16/12/2015 18:02

i only give cards to close relatives.
and 1 good friend.
i stopped doing other friends cards a few years ago. i was influenced by the friends who never bother with cards. cards are a waste of money and resources.

DartmoorDoughnut · 16/12/2015 18:03

The spreadsheet gets updated yearly here, have a 3year cut off in place now as I figure that allows for them having a bad year/moving house close to Christmas and 1 just in case but after that they now become red Grin although they stay on the spreadsheet so I can keep their details just in case sods law applies and they promptly send us one!

bigbluebus · 16/12/2015 18:03

We sent around 40 - including 4 that I tried to drop from the list as they are people DH worked with over 10 years ago whom he has no contact with other than Christmas cards. So far we have not had nearly as many as we usually get - although I haven't ticked them off against the ones we sent. One of the ones I was doing to drop from the list sent us a card (after they will have received ours) with a 1st class stamp on - which makes me think they only sent one because we did!

99percentchocolate · 16/12/2015 18:05

This year I have sent cards to most of the neighbours in our close (had none back), and lots to extended family and friends. Apart from mum/dad/in laws/siblings/grandparents we have had one back.
Nothing even from aunts/uncles/cousins we regularly see, though they got theirs weeks ago.

99percentchocolate · 16/12/2015 18:06

I think I want a spreadsheet.

Optimist1 · 16/12/2015 18:10

Love the Flow Chart, Olivia!

WineOrSleep · 16/12/2015 18:10

Mmmmmm gold pens Xmas Grin

Original poster
CruCru · 16/12/2015 18:11

I like the flowchart. I do see that keeping a list of who sent us one isn't really in the spirit of Christmas but it does rather appeal to me all the same.

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 16/12/2015 18:14

One year I didn't send any (ill health) and received very few that year. Which kind of showed me that most cards I normally receive are because I have sent them one first!

Junosmum · 16/12/2015 18:17

I love receiving cards but hate sending them, so I make a donation to the local food bank or christmas present charity etc and make sure everyone I know would send or want a card know.

VulcanWoman · 16/12/2015 18:18

I would never dream of not sending someone a card if they'd sent me one, how bloody rude.

Wagglebees · 16/12/2015 18:21

I'm telling myself mine were so spectacular that they feel too intimidated to send their bog standard ones back.

NerrSnerr · 16/12/2015 18:26

I didn't realise people did spreadsheets! I send people cards who I like. That is all that matters to me. I don't care if I don't receive one back. I don't give to receive.

Pico2 · 16/12/2015 18:27

We don't do cards. They strike me as a massive waste of time and money. So if you normally send me one, please don't. But that won't help a lot as this is an anonymous forum.

VulcanWoman · 16/12/2015 18:30

Wagg that's it, anything they send would just be pitiful Grin

VulcanWoman · 16/12/2015 18:32

Waste of time and money is a poor excuse, sorry.

Noodledoodledoo · 16/12/2015 18:34

I have a spreadsheet too!

My mums Christmas card book went from 1970-2004 when she passed away - was very useful to us to know who we needed to inform as she had friends from years passed we didn't really know.

ivykaty44 · 16/12/2015 18:36

I have whittled our list again this year - sorry but postage means it is expensive and in previous years I have put a note in card saying we won't be sending due to postage expense for people that are more distant to us. I now have just 30 to post and about 30 to give out which is much more manageable Xmas Smile

Pico2 · 16/12/2015 18:37

VulcanWoman - nobody owes you a Christmas card. It isn't an obligation.

Madbengalmum · 16/12/2015 18:38

I have a list and if a card is not recieved then i give another year and strike em off after that.
I even, shamefully, have my list divided into quality and poor cards!
I got sick of sending fancy cards to people and getting aload of crap back.

VulcanWoman · 16/12/2015 18:41

Pico what's up feeling guilty.

Pico2 · 16/12/2015 18:54

I don't feel at all guilty. You described why I don't send Christmas cards as an 'excuse'. I'd consider it a 'reason' as I am not asking for anyone to excuse me.