Who is BU about this lie in?

[PinotAndPlaydough]

Long term argument in this house-we have two children aged 4 and 2 both bad sleepers, the two year old still wakes during the night.
In 4 years of parenthood my husband has put the children to bed a handful of times, that's fine he works long shifts and is either not home to do it or has just walked through the door. He's also never got up in the night to settle them mainly because I breastfed them and because I'm a sahm but also because he's a miserable badtard when he's tired.

Every morning the kids wake at 6.30 the same time he gets up to get ready for work. He thinks I should get up at this time too and I think I should be able to get an extra half hour in bed as I've had to get up through the night. I don't understand why I need to be up if he is. He doesn't give them breakfast or anything just keeps an eye and ear out while they play, we live in a flat so it's not like he has to run down stairs to keep checking on them.

At the weekend he gets a long lie in on Saturday until about 10 and I'll sleep in until about 8-9 on Sunday (I let home sleep until he wakes naturally, he will come in and ask if I'm getting up).

Not sure if it's relevant but while he works hard once he's home he has the whole evening to relax, dinner is ready when he gets in, most of the housework is done (he might do a load of washing or a bit of washing up) and he doesn't have to do any childcare. He goes to bed early between 9-10 and sleeps the whole night.

So who is BU?

Depends what time you go to bed in the evening. You say he goes to bed early, between 9 and 10, presumably so that he can get up early at 6.30. But do you go to bed at the same time as him or do you go to bed later? If you go to bed at the same time as him but need more sleep as you get up in the night then no, YANBU, to have an extra half and hour in the morning. But if you go to bed later than him in the evening then YABU as you would get extra child free time in the evening, why should you get it in the morning too?

OP, you don't have to convince me how hard you are working, or how tiring it is to do nights. Unfortunately your husband is of the opinion that he is more deserving of sleep because he's a man or a breadwinner or summat.

I don't know what the answer is, was he a selfish bastard before you had kids? What's the rest of your relationship like?

I generally go to bed at 10, I have suffered badly from insomnia, night terrors and sleeping walking all my adult life and find a set bed time helps.

Our marriage has been through a real rough patch since having children (I don't know if there is such a thing but it's like he had the male equivalent of PND after our eldest was born) thing have improved a lot of the last year though. Most other aspects of our marriage are good, however since I've known him he's always needed a gentle nudge to think about others and their needs, I think that's because of his upbringing and how he was treated as a child (think pampered little prince)

Christ, this would seriously piss me off.

You need to come to an agreement, have the discussion in the evening/weekend, NOT in the heat of the moment (ie. at 6.30am). Come to a mutually agreeable arrangement and stick to it. He needs to start seeing your point of view. Draw up a diagram if you have to.

If it's so hard for him to cope with both of them, why does he think it's easy for you?