To rip her hair out?! Arggggghhh

[Zola1980]

I sit next to a girl at work with very long straggly curly hair. She is constantly sat there inspecting the ends, raking her fingers through it, biting the split ends off, sniffing it(!) and generally making me puke by pulling strands out and putting them on floor/bin whatever is closer.

She's a lovely girl but I just can't block her out of my view! My day is instantly better when she comes in with her hair up and out of the way!

Is it just me being intolerant or should I say something before I go mad?!?

My friend has this. She can't help it.
Yes not everything is a medical condition, however this does sound like it is.
My friend does all the things in your op. She also eats the roots.
She is ashamed of it.
She won't go to the hairdressers as she has a baldpatch.
You're saying your collague has long hair and no way has a baldpatch but how do you know??
My friend pulls her hair over to cover the patch.
You can't tell.
It is horrible having trich. My friend knows she shouldn't do it but the more she tries the more she does it.
I don't find her or it disgusting though, never have done.
I just feel sorry that she has it.

Did anybody say this condition doesn't exist? Because I don't see where anyone said that.

Again, you cannot diagnose someone over the Internet. Especially if you're not a doctor. Not sure why this is so difficult to understand.

I understand why eating her split ends could be distracting - i wouldn't like to see that myself day in day out.

This person may have a condition, she may not - we don't know and can't armchair diagnose, despite it being an extremely popular thing to do on MN. Could you get a screen put up between you?

She wears her hair all kinds of ways and has just had an ombre(?!) done so doesn't seem to have a fear of hairdressers!

Even I know asking for a screen to go up is probably going way OTT, I'd be laughed out of the office probably! I think it's one of those things that until you're faced with it you wouldn't realise how frustrating it is!

I have absolutely no clue why you seem to be getting a roasting OP. It does sound frustrating, it's similar to someone tapping a pen all the time. Once you're tuned into the noise, you can't tune out.

Whilst many people do have medical issues with hair pulling, we don't know if this woman has one or not. It would seem silly to diagnose someone through a third party, and then berate someone for not showing compassion to something you've diagnosed over the Internet.

Someone can show compassion but still be frustrating by it at the same time. We're not all super humans, we all have off days and we all have times where things get to us. Maybe the OP is having one of those days and venting a bit?

I have very severe trich and now wear a sort of wig as I have hardly any hair left.

A very nice colleague once asked if I was ok as she saw I was constantly playing with my hair. Although I was careful not to pull my hair in public I didn't realise I was doing this.

She did it in a lovely way which didn't make me feel ashamed. It helped actually.

I can totally see why you might find it annoying.

By the way, not saying that she has trich, just that the constant messing with hair sound similar.

why not just snap at her 'Will you stop pissing about with your bloody hair and get on with some work?'

That should do it

OP, it's fine (and understandable) to find something irritating and wish she wouldn't do it. It's quite another thing to hope to "shame" her about it, in the hope she will stop. That is really unpleasant and I am saddened to see so many people seem so keen to try to "shame' others because they don't like their personal habits.

It's even more unpleasant to send an anonymous email to complain about it- it's just downright mean-spirited. If you really must do it, at least have the courage to speak to her face-to-face.

As for going to HR to "get them to do something and make her put her hair up' (I know that wasn't OP's suggestion)- I'd have thought that would be more likely to be ignored or reflect badly on OP. I love the idea that HR will decide to make all women put their hair up so that the OP won't be irritated- unless there are health and safety reasons for hair to be tied back, I'm not even sure the employer can force everyone to tie their hair back. More likely they'd tell OP to get on with things, such as her work.

If I received an anonymous email about such personal habits, I'd probably be going to HR to make a complaint.

It is possible that the OP's colleague has trichotilomania, but of course she might not. If she does, OP criticising her and "shaming" her could make things worse. As the OP has no way of knowing whether this is a medical problem or simply a habit, I would suggest that it may be best for OP to attempt to find better ways to distract herself from her colleagues habit.

Great post, jacks11.