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AIBU?

to be sick of seeing pics of friend on another holiday?

63 replies

Inshock73 · 12/12/2015 13:16

This is semi lighthearted really because I want to have a whinge and don't want to say to anyone in real life :) ....

I have one friend on FB who is self employed and doing well for herself (good luck to her and I really mean that) but I am so sick of the photos of her on yet another holiday, the photos are always the same....here's me in a bikini looking fabulous on this beach.....here I am 4 hours later in another bikini on another beach....and here's the restaurant I'm dining in this eve with my wealthy daddy boyfriend. Photos are always captioned by things such as "It's so good to be self employed I can holiday whenever I want". I don't envy her lifestyle, she's on her third marriage at 36 and is VERY materialistic but I am so sick of the look at my fantastic lifestyle photos'.

OP posts:

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SnobblyBobbly · 12/12/2015 19:20

I love FB, but I too have a friend like this who I hid from my newsfeed! I have many friends with great lifestyles, my owns not the worst, but it was the way she posted that drove me crazy. I'm not sure she realises how smug she sounds, and everything is hashtagged within an inch of its life. #natural #beauty #lips #realwoman #justbeinme - made me want to puke.

I recently felt a bit bad about it so unhid her again......just as she returned from her latest #blessed/makingmemories getaway . She may have to go again, but this is the beauty of Facebook - if only there was a hide button at the school gates!

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ThatsHowYouGetAnts · 12/12/2015 19:41

Yeah, I also agree with Egosum. Nothing wrong with a bit of envy as long as you know it for what it is and don't let it take the reins.

I have a FB friend whose life looks wonderful. Great job, lovely DCs, great husband. They go away probably 4-5 times a year on the kind of cultural / educational European trips I'd love to provide for my DC but could never afford to.

Yes, I envy her.

No, I don't say anything, and never would.

No, I don't begrudge her. She is genuinely really nice!

I wish her no ill whatsoever. I am glad for her children that they have so much love and so many great experiences.

But yes, I feel envy; it just comes from a place of wishing the cards had fallen slightly differently for me, and that I could provide those opportunities for my own, equally lovely, children.

I don't dwell on it - I hit "like", scroll past feeling a bit shit, and then remind myself that my DC are happy and bright and safe and loved and we're basically fine.

It's a normal human emotion

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Egosumquisum · 12/12/2015 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buxtonstill · 12/12/2015 20:48

Sorry, your jealousy jumps straight off the page. So, she pisses you off and you want a rant, fair enough; then want everyone to try and agree with you by slagging her off and being sneery for the number of husbands she has had, and taking the piss out of her relationship. You list all her negative points to validate the feelings she brings out in you. Get over yourself and de friend her. She sounds like she would be better off without having someone as bitter as you around.

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BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 21:32

The people getting really exorcised about this seem to believe fervently that good people (a) never find other people a bit irritating (b) never wish for what they don't have (c) never say anything bitchy, even in total anonymity, just to blow off steam and (d) never judge anyone else (like, by calling someone bitter and sneering, for example).

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Enjolrass · 13/12/2015 07:22

I am self employed. I have many friends and neighbours who are.

None of us can go on holiday when we want. From reading the OPs posts I think what bothers her is that the friend isn't really working. She is acting as though her lifestyle is a result of her work and it's not.

And, sorry, op you sound jealous.

I have fb for my own company and I hate it. I have to have my own personal account to have the business page and business people keep adding me and I can't decline because they chase the request up.

My feed is full of business dinners, champagne, gym posts (I work in the fitness industry) etc because all this is expected. When I have been to a nice restaurant in London for dinner with work people they expect to be tagged in to posts. It's an industry based on who you know. You need to appear successful, to create more business.

There are no photos of my Abs, because I have no abs

I have a few friends on FB and they know why I post what I do but that it's only a small part of my life.

They know I am at home at 6pm on a Saturday night in my pjs getting the kids ready for bed.

None of my business contacts want to see my mismatched pjs and slipper socks that have seen better days.

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Enjolrass · 13/12/2015 07:27

Sorry posted too soon.

What I am saying is that for me fb isn't real life, it's work. It's like a CV it attracts business and that's what it's for.

People (in my industry at least) want to work with 'successful people' even if that's an illusion. If anyone moans they can fuck off.

I went to a 3 day expo last year and must have taken 1000 selfies with people, most of who I don't know. They want them for their own Facebook. It's a fucking weird industry.

My business started on social media and it's now supporting my family. People who don't like it can unfollow/ hide my feed/ unfriend.

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Lightbulbon · 13/12/2015 07:33

I would never envy a woman in her prime who has a grandpa lover

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DeoGratias · 13/12/2015 07:35

I don't really use facebook,. Also you never know if someone is really happy despite how photos look. She may not be.

On the holidays I am self empoyed nad have had one week off in the last 52. Not everyone self employed chooses to take a lot of time off.

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Chilledmonkeybrains · 13/12/2015 07:38

Do you really think someone who's been married three times by 36 is having a happy life?

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BoGrainger · 13/12/2015 08:21

Her 'I'm self-employed, I can do whatever I want' style of posting is classic MLM bluster. No 'proper' self-employed person would prefix a status like that. E.g. nobody says 'I'm a mother, look at my cute baby pic'. She's working from a script, it's quite sad really.

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BitOutOfPractice · 13/12/2015 08:49

I'm not sure what worse. The people who are jealous or the people gleefully saying "yeah but she's probably unhappy really" to make themselves feel better. Why would that be any consolation?

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BipBippadotta · 13/12/2015 11:09

There seems to be so much black & white thinking here.

When other people parade their good fortune before you, why does it make you a reprehensible human being for thinking it would be nice to have similar good fortune yourself?

I agree it's not nice to take pleasure in the idea that the bragging person is miserable. But bragging is annoying, isn't it? Isn't that something most (British) people agree on? It's the tone of the posts, not the content, that chafes.

You can be happy for someone while being a bit jealous of them. You can find someone's egotism a bore without bearing them any malice. You can also find other people's life choices puzzling without condemning them.

As long as you don't do anyone any harm I don't see what the problem is with feeling how you happen to feel in response to someone else's photos and comments.