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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick of seeing pics of friend on another holiday?

63 replies

Inshock73 · 12/12/2015 13:16

This is semi lighthearted really because I want to have a whinge and don't want to say to anyone in real life :) ....

I have one friend on FB who is self employed and doing well for herself (good luck to her and I really mean that) but I am so sick of the photos of her on yet another holiday, the photos are always the same....here's me in a bikini looking fabulous on this beach.....here I am 4 hours later in another bikini on another beach....and here's the restaurant I'm dining in this eve with my wealthy daddy boyfriend. Photos are always captioned by things such as "It's so good to be self employed I can holiday whenever I want". I don't envy her lifestyle, she's on her third marriage at 36 and is VERY materialistic but I am so sick of the look at my fantastic lifestyle photos'.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 12/12/2015 14:27

YABU

YANBU not to want to see them or to find them annoying or for them to make you envious or stupid or whatever else they make you feel. You can't help what you think.

But everyone has he right to post what they like until it's criminal and it's up to other fb users to look or not and respond or not.

I have a friend who can't use facebook at all because a lot of her friends are doing well in the career she really wanted and didn't quite make so their posts make her depressed and jealous. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be posting about their lives though! She's had to take the decision not to watch it.

KeepOnMoving1 · 12/12/2015 14:28

What does you not posting about your child have to do with her posting about her holidays? Do you think she owes you that in some way? You don't seem like a good friend to her in any case.

Trills · 12/12/2015 14:28

She calls him daddy boyfriend

Start a thread asking "AIBU to not want to be friends with someone who calls her partner Daddy Boyfriend?"

You know you want to.

Seriously WTF?

That is boakworthy.

And kind of creepy.

Kaytee1987 · 12/12/2015 14:28

Just delete her off Facebook, you obviously don't like her.

BluePancakes · 12/12/2015 14:39

Agree with others that there seems a bit more than envy going on...

As for the main problem, either 'hide' or simply scroll past. My best mate, who I love to bits, likes a bit of photography, from 1000s and 1000s of holiday shots, to interesting insects that she found at the bottom of the garden. I just don't care enough about photos to even pretend to be interested (I'd rather a F2F or skype account of what happened, rather than pics). I don't want to hide her, because I am interested in her (just not what she's looking at) so when a photo album of hers comes up on my newsfeed, I'll scroll past. Her next update will still appear for me, but I won't be bored.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2015 14:40

I don't believe she's the one calling him 'Daddy boyfriend'.

It doesn't make sense when

A.) He's her husband

B.) She's supposedly boasting about being self employed.

Kryptonite · 12/12/2015 14:44

So hide her then if she annoys you so much. If that's her life, she's entitled to put about it on there.

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 14:50

Yeah, I'd be annoyed by this - I don't think it means you're a jealous or mean-spirited. We're not obliged to be happy for everyone! (are we??)

I have a couple in my life who have children and go on exotic holidays all the time. If it's not 'look at my beautiful babies' it's 'look at my ravishing post-baby body' 'look at my tasteful second home' or 'Another day in paradise! I heart Bora Bora!'

It's boring, and it's annoying, and it makes me a bit embarrassed for them.

I've been unable to have children, can't afford glam holidays, I don't bake and I don't do 'crafts'. Eventually I realised I had no valid FB currency! Deactivated my account and am much, much happier.

Judydreamsofhorses · 12/12/2015 14:50

I have a family member who married into a very wealthy family, and lives an amazing lifestyle - constant champagne/bikini photos annoyed me, and I was definitely jealous! I eventually deleted my entire Facebook account about three years ago and have absolutely no regrets. Life is too short to look at photos or read posts by people who irritate you.

derxa · 12/12/2015 14:52

I actually feel very sad for the friend. She probably would rather have children than an exotic lifestyle with 'Daddy Boyfriend'. wipes away tears of laughter at terrible nickname

SilverOldie2 · 12/12/2015 14:57

Delete facebook. Job done.

Kryptonite · 12/12/2015 14:59

I've been unable to have children, can't afford glam holidays, I don't bake and I don't do 'crafts'.

Sorry you can't have children, obviously, but this kind of attitude to FB honestly baffles me.
Should everyone not post anything at all just in case they inadvertently offend someone, somewhere or make them feel insecure/jealous/lonely/whatever?! Confused
As you say, much better off it if it makes people feel like this.
I have a friend on there with a gigantic house, it looks like Buckingham Palace and they're LOADED.
Am I jealous in my two up, two down house? No, I'm just happy for them and get on with my own life and appreciate what I do have.
Sure, it'd be nice to have her house, but I don't. Jealousy is just such a pointless emotion.

Milanisabadman · 12/12/2015 15:00

Daddy boyfriend: as daft a term as Baby mama

BackInTheRealWorld · 12/12/2015 15:04

Oh the bitch, how dare she have holidays. And how dare she have the audacity to post about them.
On the rare occasion I take a holiday I do it in secret and only post pics of me pretending to have a miserable time. It's what any decent person would do.
Op yanbu

blankblink · 12/12/2015 15:10

It's so good to be self employed I can holiday whenever I want
I don't know anyone who runs their own business and has that amount of time off.

How is her business surviving when she's not there to manage it all the time, is it something she delegates, or is it just a moneydrain hobby that daddyboyfriend funds to indulge her that she calls a business?

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 15:15

No - people can post what they like on FB! Crikey. It's a free country.

I'm just not on there anymore. It didn't seem to reflect the social life I enjoy, and there was nothing I could really add to a conversation that seemed all to be about 'look at what I ate' 'look at what I own' 'Look at what I made' 'Look at what I believe', 'Look at my family', 'Look at me in my smalls'.

When I see my friends in real life, it's not like that at all. We talk about all sorts of things and have a laugh. We don't spend the evening showing each other our holiday pics, or pics of the dinners we've recently eaten, or pics of ourselves in our bikinis.

I don't think it's about the people on FB or their lives, I think it's a matter of feeling a bit alienated from FB culture.

Egosumquisum · 12/12/2015 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 15:18

And also, I don't think it's at all abnormal or morally wrong to be jealous. Where does this idea come from that you're a horrible person if you're jealous of someone else's nice holiday?

LetGoOrBeDragged · 12/12/2015 15:19

I think fb does make people feel dissatisfied with their own lives, because you know all the crap bits about your own lives but you only see the good bits of other people's.

I deleted my fb account months ago and am happier as a result. I've stopped comparing my life with other's and getting annoyed by the 'smug perfect mummy' posts or the ignorant political shite.

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 15:19

Yes, Ergosum. Totally agree.

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 15:21

Egosum, even.

Egosumquisum · 12/12/2015 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Supermanspants · 12/12/2015 15:56

I just can't understand why people get so wrapped around this sort of thing. We all live different lives to each other.

BipBippadotta · 12/12/2015 16:29

I don't think anyone's getting particularly wrapped around this sort of thing. The OP said it was light-hearted.

I guess the way I see it is if you went on at length about how wonderful and exciting and fulfilling your life was every time you came to work / saw your mates in the pub - and waited expectantly for everyone to give you a thumbs-up - people would eventually find you a bit tedious & self-absorbed. But this is normal behaviour on FB.

It annoys some people, it doesn't annoy others. As you say, we're all different.

But in the same way OP's mate probably isn't necessarily a desperate show-off concealing her spiritual misery with flash, I don't think people who find this sort of boasting icky are necessarily embittered old crones eaten up with jealousy and ill-will.

If we couldn't all roll our eyes now and again at things we found irritating, life would be dull indeed!

PawsnPurrs · 12/12/2015 18:20

when i was having a hard time in my life i just deactivated FB because it does make you feel envious of others although you shouldnt but its hard to help it. Maybe you should just do this or unfriend her