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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you're spending a fortune on booze at Christmas, spare a thought for the non drinkers

62 replies

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 12/12/2015 10:27

It's beginning to irritate me how people willingly spend a fortune on nice wine or beer for people who drink alcohol but expect non drinkers (be they driving or pregnant or on medication etc) to put up with cheap lemonade or water.

Aibu to ask if you are catering for non drinkers then you get them some nice soft drinks?

OP posts:
NCISaddict · 12/12/2015 11:19

I always get loads of nice soft drinks, fentimens, Belvoir, sparkling water, nice teas etc for the non drinkers and then the fuckers don't drink it Grin

I'm left with vats full of sugary drinks for the New Year when I mostly drink tea.

lanbro · 12/12/2015 11:20

I just got some fizzy blood orange juice from Costco, bloody lovely!

BrianButterfield · 12/12/2015 11:21

The only trouble is, fancy soft drinks are quite expensive and people like what they like, so you're likely to buy a few, have people not drink them, and then they just hang around your house having nobody drink them. I had a party last week - there were jugs of squash for the kids, then all the lemonade/Coke/orange juice/cranberry juice/tonic water stuff, and apart from the cans of Coke, none of it even got opened apart from one bottle of lemonade, the remainders of which are going flat in my fridge now. The non-drinkers either had tea or seemed to just help themselves to squash (which was fine by me) or ice water. They might have drunk more if there was fancy stuff but even posh soft drinks are sugary sweet and that's what people want to avoid. For three years of being PG or breastfeeding ovr Xmas I got used to drinking water or bringing Appletiser.

Alicewasinwonderland · 12/12/2015 11:21

YANBU!

For everybody who suggest to bring your own, how would they feel if they were going to a party, with a fantastic choice of virgin cocktails, lemonade, cordials, fruit juices, etc.. and a couple of bottles of cheap plonk for the drinkers.

Most people who host seem thoughtful enough to offer a nice choice of drinks for everybody thankfully, and water! I have been invited to a diner where there was no water on the table at all, very unpleasant even if you enjoy the wine.

Bakeoffcake · 12/12/2015 11:25

I buy sparkling water and some fruit juices. I'm not wasting money on drinks filled with sugary shite.

And I don't drink much alcohol unless it champagne

specialsubject · 12/12/2015 11:25

I also don't like fizzy drinks, and don't drink alcohol. Fortunately most houses have a tap! I'm really not bothered, food is my thing. Smile Some of these mulled apple juices sound pleasant though.

but please don't press alcohol on me. I don't like the taste. I don't have a problem, I just don't like it!

ohtheholidays · 12/12/2015 11:31

We've always provided at least a few different non-alcoholic drinks,we did for our wedding,we had a free bar that we stocked ourselves.

We usually have Orange juice,Apple juice,pineapple and tomato juice(the last two are for 2 of my Aunties)2 types of bottled water,coke and lemonade(both brand one's)J20's(a couple of different types)Shloer,tea,coffee and a few different types of squash.If it's for a party near Christmas then we also have some non-alcoholic mulled wine in as well.

OP it might be that some of the partys your going to they're just not used to having many non-drinkers to cater for.
It's easy for me as my Mum and Dad used to always be the one's to hold the New Years Eve partys for the whole of the family and a couple of my Aunties and One of my Uncles never drunk alcohol and when ever one of my SILS were pregnant(11 times between the 3 of them)they didn't drink and there would be my nieces and nephews(my parents grandchildren)to get soft drinks for as well.

MerdeAlor · 12/12/2015 11:32

I don't drink much so like a good non alcoholic drink. So much is full of sugar or caffeine though.
Virgin cocktails, mulled apple juice, san pelligrino are all lovely, the sparkling water with ice, mint and lime sounds divine.

80schild · 12/12/2015 11:37

I actually agree with what you are saying up to appoint OP - there just aren't many nice soft drinks out there.

Your comment about the unhealthiness of most of soft drinks though - hmm not sure!! It isn't like alcohol is recommended to be drunk in huge quantities.

Maryz · 12/12/2015 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 11:41

Crabbies do a non alcoholic version which is super yummy! I like the raspberry one.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/12/2015 11:43

Alcohol is quite easy to cater for. Have a choice of wine, vodka, beer and most people are covered, regardless of how many people there are.

Soft drinks are more complicated. I'm happy with fizzy drinks but wouldn't want fancy fruit juice. I'm not a big water drinker so I wanted want water with lemon or sparkling water, although I'm sure that's popular with other people. Shloer seems to divide opinion, I'll tolerate it but it's expensive if it's not being absolutely loved, and some people find it too sweet...

It's just not as easy catering to non-drinkers. Most people give it a go but I'm not surprised that they miss the mark.

Ormally · 12/12/2015 11:44

When making in bulk I like to make ice tea with apple and mint.
One third good apple juice. Make hot tea, something light, put fresh mint in at the hot stage. Add together and remove mint plant, chill once cold. You may or may not need sugar & lemon slices.

rookiemere · 12/12/2015 11:49

We're probably a little bit guilty of that because I know we'll always use up alcohol eventually, but nobody drinks sugar saturated drinks such as shloer (which gives DH weird headaches) or coke has they're just empty calories - clearly wine is the same, but at least has the benefit of getting you tipsy Xmas Wink!

I do buy in a few bottles of the Tesco flavoured water as it's calorie free and I'll finish it up afterwards. next time I'll get some sparkling water in too as I like that.

wonkylegs · 12/12/2015 11:53

I've got lots of nice non alcohol drinks for Christmas - we normally have a few but because I'm prgenant this year I have gone looking for alternatives
I got loads of different things from these guys www.realfoods.co.uk bundaberg ginger beer is particularly good but also got some gorgeous grenadine cordial from the supermarket

ijustwannadance · 12/12/2015 11:53

I don't know which tastes worse to me out of fizzy water or tonic water. Wouldn't touch either.
Also find I actually drink far less than those drinking alcohol anyway as i'm only drinking to quench thirst rather than constantly through a party or event. Plain iced water is fine to me. If I do have a coke or something, i'd only have one anyway to limit sugar. (don't like diet/caffine free crap)

juneau · 12/12/2015 11:53

If I'm having non-drinkers (which is very rare - unless they're DC!), I ask them what they like to drink and get in some of that. Otherwise, as most others have already said, you end up with masses of soft drinks that no one ever drinks. But we always have soda water, tonic and diet coke, plus teas of various kinds and squash.

Alicewasinwonderland · 12/12/2015 12:07

I don't think it's that difficult to plan at the very minimum

still water (for everybody)
sparkling water
a couple of bottles of coke/ and of real fruit juice
2 or 3 pitchers of 2 or 3 non-alcoholic cocktails

www.buzzfeed.com/ailbhemalone/no-booze-no-problem#.avyBv1Dwm

www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/top-10-non-alcoholic-drinks

and non-alcoholic mulled apple juice in the winter

Moonriver1 · 12/12/2015 12:11

I still don't understand the big deal.

Other guests could complain we haven't got gin (we never do) for a G&T or not the brand or sweetness of wine they like. Beers in particular are a minefield - people have their own brands but I'm not buying 4 different types, I'm buying the cheapest case in Tesco Waitrose.

We're good host, we ply 'em with canapes, snacks, main meals, puds, chocs, cheese etc etc etc so there is plenty on offer.

If I forget to buy exciting soft drinks and you haven't brought your own (which you should) does it really matter?

VestalVirgin · 12/12/2015 12:39

I am perfectly content with nice sparkling water, and a slice of lemon is a nice extra.

For drinks other than water, I prefer tea to softdrinks.

The main problem with the alcohol- culture is that non-drinkers are expected to serve things they would not drink themselves.

I would be okay with drinking tap water when visiting someone who drinks alcohol, as long as they are similarly content with the drinks I serve.

Alicewasinwonderland · 12/12/2015 12:49

If I forget to buy exciting soft drinks and you haven't brought your own (which you should) does it really matter?

Do you really expect your guests to bring their own drink and food?!? Confused

I am genuinely puzzled by this. When I invite friends over, for diner or a party, it's usually so we all have a good time, not to punish them. If we organise a party together, then we share, but otherwise I supply food and drink in my home, isn't that usual?

It's not an open bar, we don't serve EVERY drink under the sun, but there is as much alcoholic choices than there are non-alcoholic (plus water for everybody).

MalhamWaterfall · 12/12/2015 13:51

I agree it's a bit poor to buy in nice wine for those who like it and not bother with good alternatives.

But what I find happens much more is that people who drink will bring a bottle, whereas people who don't won't bring anything.

TheSecondViola · 12/12/2015 13:59

It's easy when you are thinking what you like, but everyones different. Am I supposed to get fruit juices (how many types?), soft drinks (diet and non diet, and caffiene free?) fancy infusions, elderflower presse, hipster cola, appletiser, alcohol free beer, virgin cocktails...?
I'm not a bar.

And nobody ever supplies the kind of beers I like, and I wouldn't expect them to, because they aren't a bloody bar either. It's rather unclassy to complain about the types of juice on offer if you are being hosted and all food, wine (you choose not to have it, but its still there) etc provided. There is a lot of effort to go into all that, the correct response is thank you very much, not a whine about them not having what you specifically want.

amicissimma · 12/12/2015 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorah · 12/12/2015 14:00

YANBU. I don't drink and I'm fed up of bad non drinkers options.

Would it kill someone to have appleteiser/sparkling water/elderflower etc