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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Soft play problems - mother oblivious

83 replies

Littleonesaid · 11/12/2015 22:03

At a small soft play with my 3 YO today when I saw a boy turn round and push my DS by his face down the steps. Shortly afterwards the same boy pushed another younger child down the same steps (who tumbled into the child behind him and they both land crying in a heap).

So I approached the boy's mother and told her what had happened.

She smiled and replied "Oh I don't think so, it's not like him" and turned back to chat to her friend. As I was staring at her in surprise, she then said sweetly "I'm not worried because I know he wouldn't do anything like that".

I then removed my DS as I didn't want him to get hurt. As we're leaving I see the same boy grap a toddler by the hair and shove him down the same stairs. The toddler's DM started shouting at the boy, who ran off. The boy's mother was still chatting and didn't even look up at the shouting.

AIBU to be amazed that anyone would be so utterly oblivious to their DC's behaviour. Wouldn't you at least get up and check on/with your DC if you got an inkling they might be misbehaving? She clearly believed I was lying and that her DS was an angel. What would you have done?

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 12/12/2015 15:51

I am pregnant with my first and absolutely dreading this sweaty den of hell. My friends with older children go often so I can see me being dragged along. I can't bear the thought of it. How many excuses can I make before its obvious?

It's OK to never tell my child such a place exists, right?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/12/2015 16:13

I hate parents like this, my little darling can do no wrong. Wake up love. I would have filmed it with my phone and showed it to her.

Heatherplant · 12/12/2015 17:07

Soft play is a special kind of hell. Went once, never again! Flask of coffee and the park is the solution.

pretend · 12/12/2015 17:23

I love soft play!

It's a secure environment, they have free wifi and semi decent coffee. I can pretend my kid doesn't exist for an hour or two....

honeysucklejasmine · 12/12/2015 17:51

I can pretend my kid doesn't exist for an hour or two....

Sounds like that is the problem! It's a playground, not a babysitting service.

pretend · 12/12/2015 18:45

Well I'm 46, I don't really like playing in playgrounds, but my kids are 7 and 3 and can't drive yet.

So there I am, drinking coffee and waiting for them to be finished....

honeysucklejasmine · 12/12/2015 18:49

I don't mean to labour the point, but isn't parents ignoring their offspring in these places the very reason it is so stressful for some? Fair enough to not climbing in with them, not expecting anyone to, but parents pretending they don't exist is exactly why the scenarios in this thread have happened.

pretend · 12/12/2015 19:05

Well no I don't think it's the same thing.

If I knew my kid was a little thug I'd know to keep an eye on him. Happily she is bombproof so aside from odd tears when she gets tired I know she's ok.

PrincessMouse · 12/12/2015 19:39

I can pretend my kid doesn't exist for an hour or two...

That's exactly the problem. Parents not bothering to keep an eye on their kids. It's irresponsible and selfish.

If I knew my kid was a little thug I'd know to keep an eye on him.

How do you know if they are up to no good if you pretend they don't exist and ignore what they are up to. For all you know your kids may well be "those kids". The kids whose parents are busy drinking coffee and messing on their phones, iPad or whatever. The kids whose parents don't see them upsetting other kids but think their kids would never do anything to hurt other kids.

pretend · 12/12/2015 19:44

Believe me, I know.

Are you the kind of parent who gets their ass stuck in the twirly slide because they're trying to leap around with their kids like they're 10 years old?

I snicker into my coffee at how over involved you are

PrincessMouse · 12/12/2015 19:57

Actually I am one of those parents that doesn't have a problem getting through twirly slide after my DD but that's probably because I am also one of those parents that really enjoys been active with and without my DD. You know one of the nearly 40 years olds that loves fresh air and taking my kids to the park or playground, even in a little rain.

I would definitelyrather be one of those parents than be the parent who's little darlings are dump and ignored so they pick on other kids to get a bit of attention from anyone!

PiperChapstick · 12/12/2015 20:01

I love the twirly slide. So does my moderately sized ass

PrincessMouse · 12/12/2015 20:04

Glad I am not alone

PiperChapstick · 12/12/2015 20:10

princess our local soft play has a bouncy castle, I'm a helicopter parent but only because I just love to bounce (as long as my pelvic floor will allow me too)

Aeroflotgirl · 12/12/2015 20:10

I think pretend is that mother in the op . You should be supervising your 3 year old.

pretend · 12/12/2015 20:16

Last time I went to soft play there was a couple in their 40s on the bouncy castle. It's just fucking odd!

Plus my kid gets pinged off the other side because they have a combined weight of about 350 kilos.... Thus forcing me to put down my iPad to scoop her off the floor

Senpai · 12/12/2015 20:20

When I see a kid misbehaving, I just lecture them like I would my own.

I'm shocked at some of these stories. I believe they happen, but I've never personally run across a parent that wasn't right on top of their kid. My biggest angst is parents shouting at their children on behalf of DD and upsetting and scaring her far more than the child did from pushing her a little.

It might just be my particular area, but still.

If I caught my DD acting like any of these kids, she'd be taken out for a time out right there and then.

PrincessMouse · 12/12/2015 20:22

Piper I am feeling very envious. I love a bouncy castle.

Aero I agree. Definitely one of those parents.

CombineBananaFister · 12/12/2015 20:24

I feel sorry for the kid, no-one gives a shit enough to learn him what is socially acceptable. As for the mum, sounds like she's going to reap what she sows ( along with may other unfortunate bystanders)

Good for you in saying summat, but lead a horse to water and all that

pretend · 12/12/2015 20:24

If my three year old is happy to go round on her own, doesn't thump kids for no reason and can physically manage all the stuff, why exactly do I have to crawl round after her?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/12/2015 20:29

It's part of being a parent pretend, our soft play is huge, I would not be happy with my ds 3 wandering round alone. There is a balance, I supervise from a little distance. On the bouncy castle, I stand near it, not go on it. How do you know they are not thumping children, when your nit watching!

pretend · 12/12/2015 20:33

Well I know because my kid has never thumped another kid in her life!

Rest assured if I saw her thump a kid, I'd intervene. In fact I used to teach so I can't help but intervene when I see kids acting up - but I don't live on my nerves that at any second soft play is going to turn my kid into a hellion.

PrincessMouse · 12/12/2015 20:41

Rest assured if I saw her thump a kid, I'd intervene.

That's just it though! You are too busy sipping your coffee and pretending your kids don't exist therefore you have no idea whether or not they have ever thumped, pushed or picked on other kids.

pretend · 12/12/2015 20:43

There's probably more danger of her getting thumped and me not noticing - although shed soon come and find me.

I get precious little time to myself as it is. An hour here and there to have a coffee and a read is priceless. If I can find that in soft play, so be it.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 12/12/2015 20:48

I can pretend my kid doesn't exist for an hour or two....

Ahh.

Labour away Honey.

Indeed Princess.

I can read/ write/and drink tea, whilst sat in a position that affords me a good view and watch whats going on, without setting socked foot in the structure.

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