To wonder if most people are drawn to their 'own kind?'

[Spamfaced]

Im not talking about marriage or even close friendships. Im talking about generally.

Grew upon in London and now live out in the sticks where its mainly white. Im obviously mixed heritage but very gregarious. My close friendships have been nurtured over many years and are from different races and backgrounds.

However ive noticed that in a newish group most people have closer friendships with those of the same race. Ive noticed that though many of the people in this area socialise with me, they are never really close to me. If someone new moves into area of same race as them I notice that they seem more comfortable in each others company than with me. There are a couple of exceptions.

It doesn't really bother me as everyone is perfectly nice and accepting and I don't feel isolated... but it has made me think...

Is this in my mind or am I instinctually less preferable until you get to know me?

Or maybe I reek of B.O!!

It's an interesting one, the widest circle of fiends I had was as a teenager and young woman in Sheffield, which is were I grew up, we had a shared interest in music and clubs, but the real signifier and communality was that we were all middle class. I think Sheffield is an interesting city, I've lived in Manchester, Nottingham and London, all of which were more polarised in terms of race and class.

And I've never managed to find that easy mix since.

I've also lived abroad and extremely rurally - I've lived the gamut.

I think it could have alot to do with what the community around you was like whilst you were growing up,.

It's very mixed where I am and it always has been as far as I can remember and that most probably shows in the all different kind of friends that I have.

I have friends that are different religions to me,friends that have no religion(I'm CofE)friends that come from all sorts of different backgrounds,friends that were born here,friends that weren't,friends of lots of different heritage and age wise my friends range from about 17 to late 70's.

I love having such a different mix of friends,some are loud,some are quiet,some have children,some don't,some live near me and some are on the other side of the world.

I really enjoy having that different mix,I have friends that are quite like me and we get on great and then I have friends that are the complete opposite to me and yet we have a great time together as well.I think it's good to try and push your comfort zone a bit if you can.I think if everyone just stuck with people that are so like them they could miss out on forming some life long really good friendships.

no i dont agree, i have met people who all walks, its how you gel with people.
I was in holiday in Italy and got along with a German girl.
I met a french girl at the gym who i stayed in touch with.
Im friends with a Mexican woman twice my age.
Ive even met girls in clubs and kept in touch.
Its down to similar mannerism and interest, if you have something in common with someone you will gel with them, I dont see race or even religion coming into a factor. Im atheist my best friend is a hard core christian.

op if these women dont want to hang out with you just see it as their lose, dont think bad about yourself or think its because of how you look ect.

im a londoner too!

sorry i completely read your post wrong op, i should be in bed thats why!

Well, I don't bond with people based on skin color or cultural background, I bond based on similar ideas. All my friends are pretty like minded. I have very few conservative friends posting goady memes about immigrants or whatnot.

So if I thought about it, my group looks diverse, but we all see eye to eye on most of the important things.

I have never understood why all through secondary school everyone mixed and made friends with everyone in their form without any issues then in 6th form (linked to school ) suddenly ethnic/religious cliques formed - it made me very sad and I think some of it was parental pressure. As anew adult I often see people mix happily at work but socialise with people who have something in common

thornrose are you me?

ickle I noticed this in sixth form too. There seemed to be more religious divide.

The ethnic cliques appear to form in late primary school where I live in London. As somebody mentioned upthread, there is always a couple of exceptions but in general, I find it very noticeable. The only ethnics whgo appear to make the cut are those who are cartoonishly desperate to conform to their stereotype.

Spamfaced I take it we have some things in common?

Strangely I am moving to London next month from the sticks because of this very reason. I don't want my children picking up on the White, working class mentality round here, there is also a lot of casual rascism and a real village mentality which I can ignore but my 9 yr old takes for granted.

thornrose yes, the village in London and the county you're in now

I'm not sure people are around us - we moved into the sticks 3 years ago and the friends I've made are very ethnically diverse. I'd actually say, I tend to gravitate towards Indian women.
All the DC's have best friends who aren't white and I've never noticed any segregation at school.

I do know that I tend to avoid making friends with people who have strong foreign accents as my hearing is steadily getting worse and I find it almost impossible to hold a conversation with someone whose English isn't perfect.

We did go and look at a potential secondary school just outside London, that felt very segregated and we discounted it - that's not really something I want the children exposed to.

OP - Maybe you just haven't met the right people yet?