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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am i a bad neighbour or...

89 replies

Nataleejah · 11/12/2015 08:57

We live in a semi. Ours is council, other is privately owned. Privately owned is charging extortionate rent, something that a working class family cannot afford. So usually yuppies move in and don't last much longer than a couple of years. Now there are a nice couple -- we are friends. Invite each other for dinner, parties etc.
Their landlord is an issue. He is a serial complainer. Complains about us all the time -- the noise, the dog, the rubbish, the unkempt hedges, you name it.
Ok, i'll be honest we're not ideal. We're just regular dc run around and play not in silence, dog barks sometimes, we have an occasional party, wind sometimes blows over the rubbish, and we cut our hedges when we want.
He grumbles that we're bringing his property value down. But... Is his extortionate rent our problem? As i said already, the people who live there are our friends. I asked them -- tell honestly, are we that bad for noise and shit? They said no, the guy is a dick.
So, who's wrong here?

OP posts:
Kaytee1987 · 11/12/2015 11:52

Strawberry I was merely pointing out that I hadn't seen her say that ... not sure what the problem is Hmm

heavens2betsy · 11/12/2015 11:56

My parents are in a housing association house and all but one of the other houses in their road have been bought and most are private rented.
Their next door neighbours resent them because they pay half the rent for the same house so they cause as much trouble for them as they can.

It's not my parents fault - they aren't well off and have lived there happily as good tenants for years, they keep the house nice and are quiet and polite but jealousy and resentment brings out the worst in people.

unlucky83 · 11/12/2015 11:56

On the litter because of where our garden is and the usual wind direction all the rubbish blown off the street (and we live in a relatively clean, MC area) found its way into our garden (blew straight across neighbour's gravelled garden) because we had plants that it got caught up in.
Plants that were supposed to make it 'low maintenance'...every month or so I would go out and collect it ...but I think neighbour didn't consider that often enough. They built a low wall (didn't say why but I suspect to 'hide the mess') ....
It was fantastic - all the rubbish got caught against their wall -we didn't get any any more and they had to spend their time collecting it ...
Wonder if you could try something like that?

Daisysbear · 11/12/2015 11:56

Your sneery comment about 'where other people draw limits on being alive' speaks volumes.

TheXxed · 11/12/2015 12:02

I wouldnt class that as annoying behavior.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:02

It didn't sound sneery to me Daisy. It sounded as though OP is worn down and a bit exasperated by the constant complaints and doubting her own assessment of her perfectly normal lifestyle.

Eminado · 11/12/2015 12:02

OP you seem to have an issue about the rent he charges. It's not really any of your business.

Nataleejah · 11/12/2015 12:10

As an aside I think you are being a bit rude about some of your previous neighbours "usually yuppies move in and don't last much longer than a couple of years." Has your distaste for previous tenants been reflected by your behaviour at all?
I'd say it is general feeling in the area about social cleansing that is obviously happenning.
Distaste for previous neigbours -- we tried to be friendly, but they were the types who had their noses turned up at everybody. But with current ones we get on perfectly.

Myself i grew up in a block of flats, so gardening culture is (still) a bit of a different planet to me.

OP posts:
Eminado · 11/12/2015 12:14

"
I'd say it is general feeling in the area about social cleansing that is obviously happenning"

This is not the neighbours' fault.

Your subsequent posts are making me side with the neighbours/landlord.

You come across like you are minimising and have a chip on your shoulder, imo. Sad

MatildaTheCat · 11/12/2015 12:17

OP, gardening standard do vary very much but an unkempt garden does look awful. Do you also have old bits of furniture, appliances and old toys lying around? I would dread living next door to a place like that. The noise and dog are much harder for anyone to fully quantify but the general appearance of your property can be easily evidenced.

Is there more to this than a slightly scruffy hedge?

Tinklewinkle · 11/12/2015 12:18

We had serial complainers next door for a while. We became so ground down by it, I'd constantly be shushing the kids, when really, we were just making every day noise.

They'd complain that our 'dog barked constantly all day', yet I was a SAHM, the dog was walked for 2 hours every day and if we went out the dog either came with us or stayed with my mum. What they really meant was that the dog barked a couple of times if someone knocked on the door or something like that

We had 'constant parties' - we got that complaint after we'd had my then 5 year olds birthday party at home for a couple of hours one Saturday afternoon

Our grass was too long and the garden was disgusting - we just didn't cut it as often as they did theirs, but the. They'd complain about the noise of the mower when we did cut it

it was horrible, we couldn't win whatever we did. I spoke to the environmental team at the council at the end, they were great. Assured us that our noise was perfectly acceptable and normal

wonkylegs · 11/12/2015 12:21

I don't get the comments about bins don't blow over. Recycling bins round here blow over all the time and cause all sorts of problems with blown litter. Stupid design and stupid loading means that they aren't heavy enough to stay up in the slightest gust of wind (and its windy round here)

We got a bin store to reduce the problem but that still doesn't help on collection day.
Oh and for reference we live in a posh area full of owner occupiers - the problem is the council collection method rather than anything the occupiers can do anything about.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:22

Do you also have old bits of furniture, appliances and old toys lying around?

That's a bit random MatildaTheSnob Hmm

GreenTomatoJam · 11/12/2015 12:26

I think you sound fine.. but then my parents were the ones with goodness knows what in the garden and a large family (no pets though)

I've had a wheelie bin blow over more than once, and if the neighbourhood cats/foxes get at it before I find out then it's a darn site worse than a couple of crisp packets.

Personally, a bit of dog barking, some kids yelling, the occasional party, all sounds very normal. Throw in car alarms, ambulances, people honking for lifts, someone fixing their car, someone else doing DIY - that's normal neighbourhood noise to me.

specialsubject · 11/12/2015 12:26

we have recyling crates. If it is windy the night before collection, I stack them paper bin on the bottom, then plastic etc, then glass on the top. Seems to work.

TheXxed · 11/12/2015 12:30

Hahahaha OP Matilda thinks you are onslow.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:32

Grin Let's hope she suits a string vest.

Honestly, you can see the overactive, Hyacinth Bucket, imaginations at work on this thread Sad

Nataleejah · 11/12/2015 12:36

OP, gardening standard do vary very much but an unkempt garden does look awful. Do you also have old bits of furniture, appliances and old toys lying around?

No. Except one very old table, but we're using it.

Saying about the block of flats where i grew up DAYTIME noise was pretty much acceptable. If things got out of hand everybody complained face-to-face. If it was completely unacceptable, people would call the police.
So this dealing over third parties feels a bit... Interesting.

OP posts:
Whatdoidohelp · 11/12/2015 12:36

You sound like a bit of a pita neighbour. I bet if u owned the property you would have more of a social conscious.

limitedperiodonly · 11/12/2015 12:38

The imperious 'I am property owner, dontcha know?' routine probably plays quite well if someone chooses to amp it up, too.

I'm not doubting your experience strawberry. I am saying that it has not been my experience at all - especially the above bit - and I am a property owner in a borough that is the last place you'd expect sympathy for tenants, council or private, over owners.

I complained a number of times about my neighbour who was pleasant but a hoarder - I don't know if you've ever heard of Diogenes Syndrome or Mr Trebus from Life of Grime but that was her.

As I said, she was pleasant so I only used to call the council when the swarms of flies got too Biblical. They came out every year or so. As she got older it got worse and once took two men in hazmat suits three days to clear her one bedroom flat and a further two days for someone to fumigate.

This is one bedroom flat, remember.

When her landlady got to hear about it she encouraged me to complain all the time. That was because the woman was a sitting tenant with the rarity of a protected rent and was thwarting the LL's attempts to evict her and make a lot of money.

I didn't because however annoying the old lady was - and believe me, living next door to rotting rubbish including up to a year's worth of hoarded cat litter at a time, is quite annoying - her landlady was a cunt who caused me even greater problems.

The LL once showed me a letter from the council in outrage. It said something like: 'We've inspected the place and a citizen's housekeeping arrangements are not our concern.'

The translation was: 'Fuck off. We are not a free eviction service for you.'

So the upshot of my long story is: councils are not bothered unless it is a serious risk to public health or immediate danger of death.

IME, of course.

Maybe OP's council is shit hot. But round here, rubbish blowing into neighbouring gardens wouldn't cut it. So either she's exaggerating for an amusing story on a Friday morning, or there's a bit more to it.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:38

What would it take for you to be able to spell 'conscience' What?

Daisysbear · 11/12/2015 12:41

What would it take for you to have some manners strawberry

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:44

I'm not doubting your experience strawberry. I am saying that it has not been my experience at all - especially the above bit - and I am a property owner in a borough that is the last place you'd expect sympathy for tenants, council or private, over owners.

A London borough? I think London tends to be a bit different TBH, a bit of a scramble. But dealing with various local authority departments you so often find that the 'follow the procedure' mindset still holds SUCH a strong sway. I've turned down work that would involve more than glancing contact with certain departments of certain local authorities. It's just so frustrating, I sometimes prefer to wait and see what the next contract is Grin

As I said, she was pleasant so I only used to call the council when the swarms of flies got too Biblical. They came out every year or so. As she got older it got worse and once took two men in hazmat suits three days to clear her one bedroom flat and a further two days for someone to fumigate.

That does sound a complete nightmare TBF.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 11/12/2015 12:46

I generally find mirroring people's manners back to them quite satisfactory Daisy. Thanks for asking Grin

Eminado · 11/12/2015 12:47

"What would it take for you to have some manners strawberry"

^^
agree with this.
You only have 1 side of the story.