Am i a bad neighbour or...

[Nataleejah]

We live in a semi. Ours is council, other is privately owned. Privately owned is charging extortionate rent, something that a working class family cannot afford. So usually yuppies move in and don't last much longer than a couple of years. Now there are a nice couple -- we are friends. Invite each other for dinner, parties etc.
Their landlord is an issue. He is a serial complainer. Complains about us all the time -- the noise, the dog, the rubbish, the unkempt hedges, you name it.
Ok, i'll be honest we're not ideal. We're just regular dc run around and play not in silence, dog barks sometimes, we have an occasional party, wind sometimes blows over the rubbish, and we cut our hedges when we want.
He grumbles that we're bringing his property value down. But... Is his extortionate rent our problem? As i said already, the people who live there are our friends. I asked them -- tell honestly, are we that bad for noise and shit? They said no, the guy is a dick.
So, who's wrong here?

the council checks everytime he complains

Really? That's some shit hot council you've got. Where do you live? I might move in. I used to be a yuppie but I'm middle aged now.

It's interesting that your neighbours call their landlord a "serial complainer", because he's not complaining to them about your antics, he's complaining to you, about stuff that affects them.
Tbh; screaming kids, barking dogs, garden both like a jungle and full of shit which blows into theirs, and loud parties / bbq's - you sound like the neighbours from Hell. I wouldn't like to be stuck next to you.
Neither does anyone else, it would seem, if you have a constant stream of new people moving in and out.

About dog barking -- yes he does bark. But up the road there is another dog who barks and sometimes they have a "conversation".
But its never all day long, because DH works from home. Maybe an hour or two at most if really nobody is at home.

Rubbish blowing over i don't know how, but its usually the "flighty" stuff carrier bags, crisp packets and it comes from everywhere to us just like to others. Binmen are also not very helpful -- often scattering stuff around.

Thanks everybody for replies.

It's hard to tell from your opening post, but to me it seems as if your neighbour has valid grounds for complaint:

dc run around and play not in silence - can't expect DC to be silent but it depends on what time they're doing it at, how many DC there are and what volume it escalates to. I wouldn't expect to hear DCs out before 8-8.30 or after 8-8.30pm and I would expect that you'd encourage them to keep it down if it was getting out of hand

dog barks sometimes - are you out during the day for long periods? Your idea of sometimes, may be their idea of continual noise. Our neighbours are fostering spaniels and the DW genuinely thought that they both piped down after 10 mins, until they came for drinks in our conservatory where the dog barking punctuated about an hour of the evening

we have an occasional party - you should give you neighbours notice and tbh in a residential area they are perfectly within their rights to call up police if you're making noise early in the morning

wind sometimes blows over the rubbish - where's this rubbish coming from - should all be in bins so why would it blow over, not acceptable

we cut our hedges when we want - so blocking their access to sunlight and light. My DPs had a neighbour like you, wanted his hedge to be 10 feet high for the privacy then built an extension where they can wave to the DCs from their top bedroom they're that close.

Honestly you don't seem well suited for residential living. Find yourself a nice cottage in the middle of nowhere and make it as far away from me as possible.

Why don't you cut your hedges and pick up your litter? I'd be annoyed too, it doesn't matter what the tenants say it's him that owns the property. Obviously dig barking can't be helped and nothing wrong with the occasional weekend party.

OP said We do call in a gardener to do hedges when neccessery -- maybe they're not immaculate, but certainly not a jungle. and I try to keep the bin area tidy as possible, something blows over. We get our share of blown over shit from hell knows where as well. which seems pretty clear, TBH - She DOES get the hedges cut when they need it and does her best to stay on top of the litter issue despite living in a wind-tunnel.

If you believe that a dog barking for "an hour or two at most" is regular neighbourly behaviour I'd be inclined to think you're minimising the other issues as well. I'd bet that your DC come across as overly noisy to other people and your occasional parties/BBQs are more like nearly every weekend in the summer. And what's with the rubbish blowing about, surely empty crisp packets etc would be tied up within a bin bag?

Sorry but you would be my neighbours from hell.

It sounds like one of those situations where you have someone who is a nightmare persnickety complainer meeting someone who is generally OK but could maybe do a tiny bit more just to smooth things over.

The litter situation sounds really awful - it would drive me mad. Can you request that the council comes and litter picks the area on a more regular basis? I know a lot of places now have services where you can request this with an online form!

If the council views this man as a serial complainer, then I don't understand why they come round at all, let alone every time he does it, as you say.

This doesn't happen IME. Especially these days. Councils aren't exactly made of money.

Therefore you are either doing something or perhaps all is not how you describe.

I'm beginning to wonder if you're minimising issues as well. A dog regularly barking for a couple of hours must seriously annoy the neighbours. And how late are your children out playing in summer. If they are frequently out past nine o clock kicking footballs and shouting and roaring then I can understand neighbours getting pissed off.

I remember limited being caught up in a complicated conveyancing web that involved a query to LA housing dept once. They are very hide-bound red-tapey places. I expect they find it easier and more agreeable to process the complaint than object to it. The imperious 'I am property owner, dontcha know?' routine probably plays quite well if someone chooses to amp it up, too.

Strawberry she didn't say that in her first post.
A dog parking for an hour or two is an issue. I have a dog and if a neighbour told me he's been barking for an hour or two I'd actually be worried and never leave him in the house again himself.

Why don't you cut your hedges and pick up your litter?
We do. Just maybe not exatly the same moment it happens.

Parties -- neighbours are invited and they invite us in return.

We don't do screaming, fighting, breaking furniture or intentionally throw litter.
Posting here to see where other people draw limits on being alive.

A dog barking for an hour or two isn't ok. A well trained , well walked dog does not bark continuously for over an hour.

Of course your neighbours won't say they complained! But someone is, so if you're minimising the dog noise, are you minimising the rest?

For example, your bbqs.. Do you play music? Do you let the neighbours know ahead of time so they can take washing in? How often? How many people?

You asked if you're being unreasonable, I've not seen your hedges so very hard to say but I wouldn't like messy hedges next to my house and also if someone's rubbish blew into my garden on a regular basis I would be annoyed. Occasional weekend parties obviously aren't a problem if they're not rowdy and don't result in glass bottles lying in gardens etc. I would definitely say if your dog is barking for an hour or two then that's an issue.
You did ask the question and there's my opinion.

Strawberry she didn't say that in her first post.

I'm not going to retort with 'RTFT'. I'm not. I'm going to be nice

Just because people don't complain that doesn't mean that barking dogs and screaming kids and rubbish thrown around isn't a nuisance. It is. So does this apply to you or not is the question.

If the council think he's in the "vexatious litigant" league then you have nothing to worry about. I bet he's complained about a lot of other people that you don't know about!. If your new neighbours are happy with you so much so that you are socialising I can't see why you don't tell him to sling his hook elsewhere!.

"We don't do screaming, fighting, breaking furniture or intentionally throw litter"

See now to me that indicates that you are noisy and messy etc if you use the behaviour above as an example of why you're ok as neighbours., because that's extreme. A bit like people in awful relationships..."he lies and cheats but he doesn't hit me".

Inviting the neighbours to your parties doesn't stop it from being inconsiderate if they're held regularly as you're still dictating to them when they can or cannot enjoy a quiet evening in.

I can hear my own neighbours through the walls every day but it doesn't bother me as it's normal household noise. What you describe is different.

Everything OP has described sounds v similar to my experiences growing up in working class parts of London. It was never a problem for us or our neighbors.

Things are becoming more strained as people who have been priced out of other areas are moving in and take umbrage with spending a fortune to live there when council tennants are paying a reasonable price. So often new neighbors are being unnecessarily persnickety and complaining about small things.

OP I would do strawberries plan and have a template response.

Are you suggesting annoying behaviour is more annoying if your neighbours happen to be council tenants, TheXxed?? Might they accept it more readily from the neighbour on the other side if they were also renting from a private landlord rather than the council? Or God forbid actually owned the house themselves...

I live in very close proximity to my neighbours. They have a dog and I hear it bark, but only when someone knocks at their door and even then it only barks once or twice. If I could regularly hear it barking continuously for up to two hours at a time I would probably begin to get irritated by it. You should probably do something to stop your dog barking so much.

I have never had my neighbour's rubbish scattered over my garden. Again if you know it's an issue make sure all your rubbish is securely bagged and stored. If your garden is being invaded by such significant levels of rubbish from the street and other neighbours I agree with a pp, contact the council and complain to them about the inadequate street cleaning.

If you can afford to pay gardeners to come in once? twice? a year to trim your hedges have you considered buying a set of hedge trimmers yourself and having a quick tidy up every couple of months?

With regard to the parties and noisy children only you know how loud they are. You probably just need to have an honest think about how each impact on your neighbours, sometimes it can be worse than you assume.

A few small changes could insure you against any more complaints.

As an aside I think you are being a bit rude about some of your previous neighbours "usually yuppies move in and don't last much longer than a couple of years." Has your distaste for previous tenants been reflected by your behaviour at all?

Once you've addressed everything and know for sure you are in the right you could challenge the constant complaints and visits from the council.

"About dog barking -- yes he does bark. But up the road there is another dog who barks and sometimes they have a "conversation". But its never all day long, because DH works from home. Maybe an hour or two at most if really nobody is at home."

How often is nobody at home to make sure the dog doesn't chat to his mate for an "hour or two"? Is he barking indoors or outdoors? A dog barking for more than 15 minutes is enough to start grinding my gears, and if my dog woofs more than a few times I put a stop to it. It's antisocial to let dogs bark for more than a minute or two IMHO.

I'm also wondering how your rubbish gets blown about too. Does it go in a bin bag? Or loose in a bin that gets knocked over? Because I've never had general waste blow about. The only time my litter has done that is in my current place where the council give us these rediculous recycling bags/boxes that don't do up properly and are so lightweight they blow about in strong wind, spilling their contents. Bad design IMO and not a lot we can do about it.

"See now to me that indicates that you are noisy and messy etc if you use the behaviour above as an example of why you're ok as neighbours., because that's extreme. A bit like people in awful relationships..."he lies and cheats but he doesn't hit me"."

I'm inclined to agree. Sorry OP.

This is off topic sorry but I'm new here and confused as to why loads of the OPs comments have been crossed out by someone?? Do mumsnet do that to posts? Thanks!

What does it have to do with you how much your neighbour charges for rent?

I'm glad I don't live next door to you to be honest - it sounds a nightmare.