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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think I Shouldn't Pay Full Whack for 'Educational' School Trips?

108 replies

JoffreyBaratheon · 09/12/2015 12:00

On the breadline, here. Minimum wage, tax credits, 5 kids only 2 still at home the rest are adults. Xmas coming; this very week have had to pay for husband's work do, colleague bday contribution - even £15 down is enough to turn into a tailspin for us and we have somehow had to find and put aside a small amount of cash for our teenagers' xmas present.

Now I just have had a call from my kids' high school 'finance officer' (wtf?) insisting we pay £30 for a school trip that is happening in March.

I said due to our circumstances, I can only pay some of it now and some later.

Pisses me off because I used to teach in the inner city and if a parent couldn't afford to pay for a trip, I'd turn a blind eye, tip the secretary the wink, and so long as the forms were signed, the child came along. I wanted to pay only £10 now but after some argy bargy, she pressurised me into £15. On the twatty Parentpay website, so she said she would go into the site at her end and adjust the amount (she hasn't - but I know it is a primitive and badly designed site so maybe they can't?) She said even if I pay £15 now I have to pay the rest in January.

She caught me on the back foot - I was busy and had no idea who she was or why she was phoning.

Now I am starting to feel royally pissed off. Are educational school trips still not free or reduced for the poor, then? How the fuck I am supposed to find £30 not only christmas month but with one boy needing new shoes, them both needing hair cuts etc etc.

If schools can afford to employ 'finance' people they can afford to cover shortfalls on trips, no?

Or is it me being the dick? It's a long time since I was a teacher but I did everything in my power for every child in my class to be a part of every trip and with zero humiliation for parents. I handled it myself (no 'finance officers') and I handled it kindly and discreetly.

Or do we now have to pay for educational trips in full regardless of circs? What happened to that voluntary contribution thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
JoffreyBaratheon · 09/12/2015 15:18

Tinkly, yes, it was her abrupt manner that nettled me and she also caught me off guard so I didn't have my wits about me enough to say hang on a minute... And I didn't say upthread, but she was also incoherent so not only had a poor phone manner but on top of that, it took her five minutes to even explain what she was on about or who she was... But a nasty phone manner, for sure.

Goblin I kind of wish I did have 'form'. Although I will enjoy the glamour of coming across as a bit of an old lag if you want. ;o) I have always paid for every school trip in full or the kids haven't gone - except for one for my oldest son, maybe ten years ago now- same school, different Head, different staff and no finance person. Then we just dealt direct with the lovely teacher organising it who knew us, so knew money was tight but my son wanted to go on a residential trip - and actually off her own bat, arranged for my son to have a discount so hefty, he had a week in Germany.

She left the school a few years back and now works at a really nice school a few miles away. Oddly, my son - now an adult but home for the weekend - and I bumped into her at a football match - her son plays for the same team as my youngest. And she told me she had left that school because the new management had decided "cheap is best" in terms of staffing.

Thinking I have 'form' is highly entertaining, though. If you call one very kind and outstanding teacher, a decade ago, giving us a discount, think of me as the Ronnie Biggs of school offices.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/12/2015 15:21

Does your dp not remember what arrangement he made?

Original poster
JoffreyBaratheon · 09/12/2015 15:34

He's at work and can't use his phone or even text.

I've paid it on Parentpay, now she amended the amount. Given the guidelines I found, about schools not being allowed to be seen to 'demand' money - I think she was acting beyond her remit.

OP posts:
Original poster
JoffreyBaratheon · 09/12/2015 15:48

TBH, the voluntary contributions thing came in just before or round about the time I started teaching - and we always had some disclaimer or other on letters saying the trip might be cancelled etc. Because we had to word it a certain way but in reality... Never any danger of that actually happening. Not to my knowledge, anyway. School paid the shortfall and if I said that x simply couldn't pay, n-one (a) tried to make them and (b) tried to embarrass them or their child. I guess we're in a different world, now, with sensitivity out of the window and officiousness in the door.

I posted because this woman's manner was what made me wonder if the whole concept of voluntary contribution had been scrapped and I hadn't heard about it. Ah well. Paid them now. When I rang back to ask her why she hadn't amended Parentpay she sounded like she'd already forgotten I ever existed. Maybe she used to work for a loan shark on a rough estate somewhere.

He's missing out on enough other things his friends do - I just want to give my two youngest some kind of fecking normality. I'd assumed my husband had sorted it when he said he had. I never go on Parentpay from one term to the next because it's clunky and useless, I make him do it. I could have not paid and told son he wasn't going but he feels enough of a freak as it is and it is a subject he is interested in (Year 10 so GCSE related, as well). Enough of my day spent on this shit!

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 09/12/2015 16:03

If you were a teacher years ago before PPA then your workload was nothing compared to that of a current teacher.

gobbin · 09/12/2015 16:13

Now I am starting to feel royally pissed off. Are educational school trips still not free or reduced for the poor, then? How the fuck I am supposed to find £30 not only christmas month but with one boy needing new shoes, them both needing hair cuts etc etc

It must be difficult having to make choices like these. Any family will struggle if there is not much coming in and you will have to prioritise. Could you not look for a higher paid job, you must have many transferable skills as an ex-teacher?

ExitPursuedByABear · 09/12/2015 16:22

I find parentpay easy to use.

We all make choices in life.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 09/12/2015 17:00

Agree with exit, we all make choices in life. You chose to have children and they come with expenses. Why should you get to not pay yet still have the benefit of the nice trip? Fair enough to not pay and not expect to participate.

A birthday collection and night out should be far below something educational or new shoes.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/12/2015 17:19

For goodness sake, plenty of people are on minimum wage without it being a "choice".

And presumably the OP chose to have her children when she was earning a decent teaching salary.

Lots of things can lead to drops in income, many of them are not choices. We are all one stroke of bad luck away from the breadline.

expatinscotland · 09/12/2015 17:37

Still don't get whilst the admin lady is coming in for a slagging off but not a man who spunks money you don't have on a works do and a colleague's birthday.

LIZS · 09/12/2015 17:42

Your issue should be with your husband who chose not to deal with it and spent the money frivolously. The admin woman probably had others to chase and took calls in the meantime so why should she remember you specifically.

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2015 17:43

And who screwed up negotiating payment on the school trip in the first place...........

AyeAmarok · 09/12/2015 18:22

Still don't get whilst the admin lady is coming in for a slagging off but not a man who spunks money you don't have on a works do and a colleague's birthday.

Indeed.

Wellthen · 09/12/2015 18:23

This doesn't make any sense at all. Trip contributions are voluntary. Children are not allowed to be excluded because they didn't pay. Therefore, don't pay if you can't and he will still go. But you do run the risk of the trip being cancelled.

The school you worked in obviously had surplus money if it paid for trips no matter how many children paid. This is not the case in most schools now and I doubt it was even then. Your school wasn't better or more understanding, it simply spent its money differently.

Your op is unnecessarily rude. Why all the sarcasm about her being a finance manager? I teach in primary and we have 4 office staff and a finance manager. Our yearly budget its hundreds of thousands - as someone said upthread, this needs someone qualified.

You're acting as if your child has been actively excluded for being the 'poor kid'

Osolea · 09/12/2015 18:26

It's not really fair for you to blame the school or the admin lady. It's not their fault. Your family has had notice of this trip, and you have chosen to prioritise paying for a work night out and a colleagues present over your child's education.

Yes things happen sometimes and we can all be guilty of forgetting the odd school thing, but we don't all blame anyone other than ourselves and then expect our children to be given freebies.

winewolfhowls · 09/12/2015 18:35

I think perhaps the finance officers manner may have come across as rude because you had indicated you would go on the trip, and she is having to chase you for payment. Rather than she is demanding you attend the trip.

Enkopkaffetak · 09/12/2015 18:37

They can adjust parent pay quite easily DS school has done so for me on several occasions when I have negotiated a different payment plan to their suggested one. Not once has i t been a issue for them.

However I would phone the school back up and speak to the finance office and say you cant afford to pay for it right now however will be able to in Jan/Feb I bet they will sort it out for you.

Viviennemary · 09/12/2015 18:53

I think it was quite fair of the school to accept your offer of some money now and the rest later. Schools will just stop doing school trips if too many parents don't pay. Works do fair enough it's Christmas. But colleague's birthday present. No way if you're broke. Fifty pence is quite enough in your circumstances.

Donge13 · 09/12/2015 18:59

Can't afford a school trip but can afford to go on a work piss up and a collection, I think you have your priorities wrong!

whois · 09/12/2015 19:32

It's not really the school fault that your income is having to stretch to looking after five chikdren is it?

tethersend · 09/12/2015 19:43

"Why should you get to not pay yet still have the benefit of the nice trip? "

Because it's the law.

Because the child gets the trip, not the parent.

Because the trip is part of the curriculum.

The guidelines are very clear- no child should be excluded from an activity which forms part of the curriculum because their parents can't or won't pay.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 09/12/2015 20:02

Pay what you can afford, only what you can afford, and I hope your child has a lovely trip. Try not to let someone else's attitude stress or guilt you. The finance person's job is to collect as much money as possible, yours is to manage family funds, sometimes these two aims won't align but don't let that distract you from your budget.

RoseDawson · 09/12/2015 20:07

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Atenco · 09/12/2015 20:13

Oh thank you tethersend, I was boiling with rage at that comment.

Higge · 09/12/2015 20:45

I struggle to see why you decided that a Christmas night out and a Birthday contribution were an appropriate use of cash when you were so close to running out - that sounds incredibly irresponsible. I think even if you had not made these poor choices it sounds like you still could probably not afford to fund the school trip - you have no buffer if things go wrong.
My parents made poor choices, spent money on unnecessary things and failed to provide for us....I will never understand why they thought that was ok.