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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take £60 of ds Christmas/ birthday money to pay for a new PE kit

55 replies

ReallyTired · 09/12/2015 00:51

Ds almost aged 14 has lost his entire PE kit for the third time. Excluding the cost of trainers, the bag, the PE top, shorts, socks with cost about £60 to replace. I am furious because he spun me a lie that it was in his locker for two weeks. He had had detentions from his PE teacher as well. I don't think he had made enough effort to find his kit.

I have had enough and I feel he needs to suffer the consequences of his inability to look after his belongs. He needs to realise what is belongings cost to replace.

OP posts:

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 10:23

I feel your pain. Dd has lost a £100 pair of pointe shoes (& did a similar they are in my locker/making excuses to her teacher thing). She's also lost her school tracksuit bottoms (you can't buy the top & bottoms separately).
What I do is give her a yearly uniform allowance plus £15 a month pocket money. If she loses it, she replaces it herself.

Ds hS also lits his school shoes (not totally his fault as they went missing during school play dress rehearsal) , rugby boots, two ties, swimming kit including towel & a rugby shirt.

They have to learn that the money has to come from somewhere & you can't just replace this stuff.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 09/12/2015 11:09

Good grief ... Balletgilmum that is expensive.

OP posts:

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 11:28

I started a thread about it yesterday oddly enough.

Grrr!

Original poster

ReallyTired · 09/12/2015 11:32

Ds son's PE teacher has suggested by email that he wears his old primary school PE kit until the end of term. That is a gloriously evil idea, but unfortunately his old primary PE kit is way too small.

OP posts:

Jw35 · 09/12/2015 11:38

Yes take it out his Xmas money! He's getting an Xbox he probably won't mind that much! Sounds like he has a lot for Xmas, I would just do that. I don't even think it's mean! He needs to learn the value of things at 14

FellOffMyUnicorn · 09/12/2015 11:55

"Maybe he lied because he knew you'd totally overreact and try to ruin his Christmas?" Well how about he takes some care of his own pe kit then? ruin his christmas.....?

"If I was giving money for Christmas then I would be pretty annoyed to find that it had been taken away from the recipient as punishment."

so how do you think he should pay for it? or should he fritter away his christmas money on toys/games while OP has to scrimp because of his carelessness?

Yes its harsh - but he needs to learn

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 11:59

unicorn I'd buy him tescos own cheapies and make him carry it in a plastic bag.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 09/12/2015 12:09

Money is short at Christmas. Do you think his six year old sister should go without? How do you think I should find £60? To replace everything. I can't buy him cheapie trainers as he had orthopedic problems.

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 09/12/2015 12:11

Have you ruled out bullying?

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 12:14

OP can't you just buy cheap tesco brand PE kit? Sod what the school say about logos, explain to them that you're not throwing £60 away and they can deal with it:

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 12:16

Not having the correct branded kit/uniform results in detentions & eventual exclusion

Original poster

ReallyTired · 09/12/2015 12:19

TaliZorah Secondary schools legally can and do enforce logoed uniform. My son will end up in internal isolation if we don't comply. Its not primary school.

I don't think my son is being bullied, he is just incredibly scatty.

The cost of paying for my son's PE kit is about 2 Xbox games. He will live. The alternative is that my six year old daughter loses out on christmas presents.

OP posts:

raracleopatra · 09/12/2015 12:26

I think you should go into the school and ask to look through lost property to be honest. Do you think it's been stolen?

Anyway if it can't be found I think it is absolutely fair enough to use his Christmas money, the pe kit is for him and he will be an adult soon and needs to take responsibility for his things!

I can relate to this, especially the refusing to look in lost property why do they do that???

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 12:31

ReallyTired that's ridiculous, take it higher.

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 12:32

Tell school DS is buying the kit himself and make him buy one item a month, if they kick off complain that they're discriminating financially.

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 12:34

It won't work Tali. The most the op will be given is until the start of next term if the school are feeling charitable.

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 12:39

balletgirl a nice letter to the MP about how the school discriminates against those who can't afford it might, as might a nice local press story.

I'd dig my heels in if it were me, I wouldn't be spending £60 on a sodding PE kit!

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 12:42

Ds's school is private so that wouldn't wirk but assuming the OP's school is a state school (who in my area at least seem to have more stringent rules on uniform) it would still not work.

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 12:43

£60 is actually quite chesp as school PE Kits go.

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 12:43

Balletgirl I've seen it done a few times over haircut arguments and its worked!

raracleopatra · 09/12/2015 12:44

Do you read the Daily Mail by any chance Tali

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 12:44

Not round here it wouldn't!

gamerchick · 09/12/2015 12:45

at take it higher. Comps are lunatics about their uniforms, I thought the media had made that clear by now by running stories on random cases.

TaliZorah · 09/12/2015 13:11

cleopatra god no!

Was just done locally a few years ago about someone with a stupid haircut getting excluded. They kicked off and it got sorted.

raracleopatra · 09/12/2015 13:25

Well I do get annoyed by all the petty rules but in this case presuming it is his fault that he lost it, then if he has money he should pay for a replacement (or at the very least pay some towards it).

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