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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Before you complain please ask yourself AIBU?

59 replies

GodImtired · 08/12/2015 22:21

So I've done nearly 30 years in the NHS as a paediatric nurse but never have I experienced the level and type of complaints that we now receive.
These are some examples:
We feed breast feeding mums, one complained her carrots were mashed (standard food on a children's ward) and not sliced.
Another mum complained that the nurses had not changed her bed sheets every day. We change the sheets in the children's beds daily, we provide sheets for the parents, as many as they want but expect them to change the themselves.
One set of parents complained that the night nurse turned the light on over her child cot in the middle of the night (to count the child's respiration rate) and this woke the parent, not the child, up.
One asked to be moved to another bed because she didn't like the view out of the window when the nurse in charge refused she complained that staff we unhelpful.
Another comlplained she didn't get one of our few. side room when she asked for one, despite not meeting the criteria for one, she said the lights around the bed of another child with complex needs kept her awake.
Parents recently complained they their child had not been reviewed by a doctor for three hours despite the fact that they could clearly see that the doctors were involved with another child who'd stopped breathing.
Parents moan incessantly about waiting even though they can see that there are loads of other children waiting and that staff are rushing around like idiots trying to see everyone. In most cases whilst they wait we feed their children and even them (which we technically aren't allowed to do that if your not a breast feeding mum), provide toys, play staff and beds/cots and chairs.
So please before you trot off to PALS to complain think about the staff. In the vast majority of cases we care passionately about your child, many of us are parents too and we know how worrying it is to have a sick child, we do try to consider parents siblings etc and try and accommodate you where we can, I personally bend over backwards to be nice to parents and their children and provide them with support and information I can as do nearly all I work with, I know there are some exceptions and some complaints are justified but not those I've mentioned above. As nurse we work long hours, my shifts are 13 1/2 hours with 1 hour for break (if im lucky), complaints like those above are very demoralising, it's make us wonder why we bother. We cannot fill our vacancies and so there is a national shortage of paediatric beds at this time of the year so please think; AIBU before complaining?

OP posts:
Samcro · 09/12/2015 16:38

ive never complained but did give a scowl when the "nurse" told me and another mum that we couldn't keep the kids wheelchairs on the war(massive war with 3 beds in it. so plenty of room) I mean really! how did she think our kids would get around??

hefzi · 09/12/2015 16:43

I feel for anyone who has to deal with the general public anyway - but even sorrier for HCP, who seem to have the worst in human nature dumped on them whilst having to operate under an immense amount of stress. The OP isn't at all asking people not to complain when it's warranted - she's just suggesting that for everyone's sanity, vexatious complaints should be kept to a minimum...

PoppieD · 09/12/2015 16:57

Just as point of interest there is story in DM today with obligatory sadface Sad parent and child who are complaining that the ward wouldn't feed them while their son was in with a broken leg, there was only 1 canteen on site and they thought that the food in the canteen wasn't up to their standards- here we go again with these pesky hospitals concentrating on treating the ill and injured and not visiting people's food preferences!!

GodImtired · 09/12/2015 17:16

In my trust food is not cooked in the hospital canteen it's "prepared off site" over 100 miles away think large portions of ready meals and sent to the ward before each meal to be heated up. We cannot order food for patients from the canteen if they don't like the offering as its a sepreate budget. Our policy is to feed all children who are patients and breast feeding mums we are not meant to feed any one else. Sometimes we do feed parents but usually usually those who have been resident on the ward for a long time and can't leave the ward easily e.g. Palliative care, those who come in at odd hours we offer sandwiches too or toast and sometimes mums with small babies who can't always leave the ward would like some breakfast. The hospital cannot provide 20+ extra meals a 3 times day for parents there is quite simply no money to do this. We do provide unlimited free tea and coffee, squash and water. Our hospital has a canteen and 2 coffee shops (1 is Costa). MacDonalds is round the corner and lots have pizza deliveries.
We have no control over the quality of the food or the menu, the food is uninspiring but not dreadful, but there is always choice of at least three hot meals including a vegetarian option, (we can specially order Halal or kosher), hot and cold puddings and sandwiches. Toast is also always available but the staff have to make it because of the problems of toastas setting off fire alarms. We also have access to a microwave and we're happy to heat patients own food if they bring it in. Can we in all honestly do any more I don't think so. After all we are not running a hotel or gastro pub.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 09/12/2015 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GodImtired · 09/12/2015 17:38

zzzz you are one of the mums we would try to feed if we have sufficient left over or provide toast etc I forgot our trust also has a sandwich machine running 24/7.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 09/12/2015 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppieD · 09/12/2015 18:21

Your hospital sounds quite well equipped Godimtired! We have our canteen which is for staff/visitors and a wrvs sandwich place at the main entrance- I did overhear people in the queue moaning today that they had to wait in a queue behind staff and we shouldn't get to use the canteen which I was amused by!

SchnooSchnoo · 09/12/2015 18:45

I agree with you to some extent OP, but I have spent more than 16 weeks of this year in hospital with my daughter, who has a life threatening condition, and let me tell you, it's not easy!

I am 150 miles away from home, separated from my older child and with no support during the week as my dp has to work, and my baby cannot be left alone at all.

Things like being constantly woken during the night, not being able to get out to get something to eat, and just the fact of having a sick child are very stressful. I'm sure some of the complaints you mentioned are unfounded, but don't underestimate how stressful and upsetting it is to have a child in hospital.

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