Before you complain please ask yourself AIBU?

[GodImtired]

So I've done nearly 30 years in the NHS as a paediatric nurse but never have I experienced the level and type of complaints that we now receive.
These are some examples:
We feed breast feeding mums, one complained her carrots were mashed (standard food on a children's ward) and not sliced.
Another mum complained that the nurses had not changed her bed sheets every day. We change the sheets in the children's beds daily, we provide sheets for the parents, as many as they want but expect them to change the themselves.
One set of parents complained that the night nurse turned the light on over her child cot in the middle of the night (to count the child's respiration rate) and this woke the parent, not the child, up.
One asked to be moved to another bed because she didn't like the view out of the window when the nurse in charge refused she complained that staff we unhelpful.
Another comlplained she didn't get one of our few. side room when she asked for one, despite not meeting the criteria for one, she said the lights around the bed of another child with complex needs kept her awake.
Parents recently complained they their child had not been reviewed by a doctor for three hours despite the fact that they could clearly see that the doctors were involved with another child who'd stopped breathing.
Parents moan incessantly about waiting even though they can see that there are loads of other children waiting and that staff are rushing around like idiots trying to see everyone. In most cases whilst they wait we feed their children and even them (which we technically aren't allowed to do that if your not a breast feeding mum), provide toys, play staff and beds/cots and chairs.
So please before you trot off to PALS to complain think about the staff. In the vast majority of cases we care passionately about your child, many of us are parents too and we know how worrying it is to have a sick child, we do try to consider parents siblings etc and try and accommodate you where we can, I personally bend over backwards to be nice to parents and their children and provide them with support and information I can as do nearly all I work with, I know there are some exceptions and some complaints are justified but not those I've mentioned above. As nurse we work long hours, my shifts are 13 1/2 hours with 1 hour for break (if im lucky), complaints like those above are very demoralising, it's make us wonder why we bother. We cannot fill our vacancies and so there is a national shortage of paediatric beds at this time of the year so please think; AIBU before complaining?

WhatTheHell paediatrics is different unlike the adults where care has often been fragmented down with basic care being given by HCA, and trained nurses often reluctant to wash and feed patients. In paediatrics trained nurses do all qspects of the care of the children they've been allocated. This is one of the reasons why I do it it's so much more holistic.

That's exactly the problem Out - no one wants to help because the conditions are not good. Some vacancies can't be filled for love nor money. So what happens then? Staff leave, never to be replaced, and the downward spiral continues.

I am an adult nurse and providing 'basic care' is a fundamental part of my job. It's certainly not beneath me . I work in critical care now so the ratios are better, although we are meant to have 8 staff, and we are often on 5/6 but not allowed to close beds. On the main adult wards however 1 nurse and 2 HCAs are responsible for 12-14 patients at a time. Often around 8 of these are completely dependent and need feeding/toileting/changing/repositioning on top of any medical needs they may have. With the best will in the world 3 people can not provide an acceptable level of care in these circumstances. Nurses fill in incident forms which are ignored, if people complain the blame is pushed back to the nurses. Our trust doesn't even provide us with PENS fgs. I believe nurses should strike for patient ratios of 1:4 like in Austrailia, while there would be an initial outlay to put staff in post the money saved in litigation and paying staff sickness would soon make it up.

BalthazarImpresario Mental health services are totally different though. They've always been crap in comparison to physical health care.

I was going to suggest that these complaining people should experience CAMHS for a bit!

(No offence to decent CAMHS nurses.)

Ohfour, I know hence the occasional pangs of guilt. I did my time 30 years of service, some part time some casual so 14+ pensionable.
in the end I moved communities and going back to work in nursing without my long time colleagues wouldn't work anyway.
in the end my job was cut from full to part time...because I earned too much. common place where I was from as the new staff earn significantly less especially if you take in holiday time etc.

Trained nurses are often reluctant to feed and wash patients not true.

I'm a trained nurse with a degree. I don't work on wards any more but when I did I would have loved to have the time to feed and wash all my patients. It was highly demoralising not being able to.

I've done lots bank and agency on adult wards, HCA's have on numerous times either looked puzzled or shocked if I offer or am found washing or feeding a patient, and many trained staff don't have the time partly because the drug round in particular takes so long. I'm also sorry to say on many cases they also frankly don't want to wash patients. On one memorable occasion a newly qualified nurse asked me "what on earth" I was doing when she found me washing a patient and reminded me that as my badge said registered nurse that meant I didn't wash patients!
It's even worse in many nursing homes in one I went too when I asked who needed washing the frankly stunned HCAs/carers asked me if I "didn't have things to do in the office" when I replied "not obviously" they said that trained staff never washed dressed or fed residents" it wasn't there job. On many occasions I've seen food left to go cold because too many residents need feeding whilst trained staff fill in paper work.

I agree staff to patient ratios on adult wards are appalling on many wards I've been to it 1 trained nurse, 1 HCA for 12 patients with many of those patients being often completely dependent for all care. Paediatrics has to be a max of 1:6 and many of those will have parents looking after much of their personal needs with trained nurses assisting.

Amutteridiot obviously we don't want to wake parents up when we do obs or turn lights on over other children's beds in the middle of the night but I can't see in the dark so have too and other parents can be noisy even when we ask them not too (as can staff), there's really nothing we can do about it. We're not doing it to be mean, or to make your life difficult, we do understand how important sleep is for a child and their parents, why complain? It's really demoralising, especially when we're working so hard to care for your child and you as parents.

Exactly what AuntMabel said. I take my hat off to the majority of nurses in hospitals, who are doing the best they can while massively understaffed. When my dad was in hospital, I knew that the nurses were relieved when I visited as it meant I could take over quite a few things on their behalf - although I was a bit surprised the first time they said "you can turn him, can't you? Good!" and ran off, I could see exactly why they did it - there just weren't enough people to provide the care that was needed.

However, I did have to contact PALS when I saw that medication, food and water was being left out of his reach (while he was unconscious and needed to be turned regularly - so not really capable of leaning over, getting the water and carefully swallowing the pills). Even feeding him might put him at risk of choking. When I asked about this, the ward sister said that having the food, and the medication he needed, out of reach would 'encourage him to wake up'.

I complained - very factually, without blaming anyone but making it clear that I needed to see things put right. Sadly, I had to put my dad's needs first rather than think 'this might be bad for him, but I feel really sorry for all the people working on the ward so I won't cause any trouble'. I'm sure I'm on the hospital's blacklist now.

In all my years of Nursing I have never witnessed or heard of a trained Nurse "refusing to wash a patient" because it's "beneath them" It may be that washing the patient has to wait due to an urgent issue that needs immediate attention but that's different. This theory that now we've gotten fancy degrees we've got ideas above our station think basic nursing tasks are "beneath us" is bandied about a lot on MN and in some sections of the press but I've seen no evidence of it in real life. My degree and my postgraduate training hasn't excused me from mopping up bodily fluids, feeding and washing patients, being vomited on by detoxing drug users etc. and nor should it! It's just a fundamental part of the job. On any of the wards I've worked, if a Nurse had refused to perform basic care tasks because they have a degree their colleagues would soon set them straight (once they'd stopped laughing) and they'd never live it down! It just doesn't happen.

The nurses have always been very good with ds (asd and severe learning difficulties) but hospital facilities are inadequate. At our nearest hospital there is nowhere private to change him apart from the floor of the toilets and nowhere safe for him to sleep overnight if he is mobile.

I have had 2 scary hospital stays with DD and the staff have, each and every one, been wonderful. The consultants, nurses, play staff, cleaners were all so so lovely when I was at my most scared and vulnerable. As were all the other parents (apart from one awful mum, but we won't go there).

So a huge thank you from me to all the hard pressed NHS staff. You saved my daughter's life and treated us with care and respect. Thank you. Thank you.

When it comes to being woken up, in ITU I was so permanently terrified I couldn't sleep. By the time I could sleep, yes I was on a noisy ward. Fair enough, my daughter was alive, I could cope with a bit of tiredness in the face of that immense fact.

One you are at the stage of worrying about sleep, presumably your child is out of danger and you can expect to be heading back home at some point?

Hospitals have to prioritise looking after ill children, not ensuring their parents get a decent kip.

I feel for you OP. I dread to think what your job is like at times.

As a dispenser in a pharmacy, I've seen my fair share of complaints and rude /entitled patients.
A heroin addict once called me a"fat bitch" because we didn't have his methadone script (Dr hadn't sent it and we were just about to close). He then proceeded to scream at me and the pharmacist with 2 of his family members, and tell me that he would have to "go out and buy smack on the streets and it was my fault."

I've lost count of the times we had complaints about waiting times for prescriptions, when people can see that its just me, the pharmacist, and one poor girl on the counter, and we've got tons of scripts coming in.
Or people who seem to think it's acceptable to shout at us and insinuate that we don't know our job, because we will not "lend" them tablets, when they've forgotten to order them in time.
Or the ones who stand there and cross examine you when you tell them the surgery hasn't generated their script yet, and it hasn't arrived yet, and you will contact the surgery for them if they'd like to wait? Cue eye roll and tuts from the waiting queue.

Sorry didn't mean for this to turn into a long moan!
Its hard hard work but I do enjoy my job, honest

We try very hard to keep the ward quiet and dark at night, doors to bays and side room are usually kept shut to reduce noise, we creep around in the dark many of try and use torches in the first instance to reduce light that's why complaints about lights on at night are particularly frustrating. The other night in the dark I was creeping round in a small space there was enough luggage for a fortnight holiday for, a buggy toys every where bottles piled up all over the locker and lots of other paraphernalia, I was desperately trying to not wake the parent or the child in the end I turn on the bathroom light to give a bit more light and I could here the parent tutting.
The other thing could parents please stop stealing our thermometers, we've gone through so many this year that now our management won't buy any more and we will have to buy our own.

Totally agree about the thermometers, all of ours have been stolen. Along with DVDs and toys. Stop stealing our equipment!!

It's really hard to creep around in the dark and try and not wake anyone up. But sometimes I have to put a bedside light on, if I'm giving medication, intravenous antibiotics, I need to see what I'm doing.

I did have a student once who thought it wasn't her job to make beds.

"It's hiding in the hey for a gossip that is harder to bear"
Chance would be a fine thing, especially at this time of the year, we frequently now don't get a break in a 13 1/2 hour shift sometimes come 6ish in the evening I realise I haven't had a drink or done a pee since I left home at 6 15 in the morning.
Jibber yes the number of parents who think we can give IV antibiotics without turning on a light never ceases to amaze me, or moan that we've woken their child giving it because we've had to move them to get to their arm.
Parents we don't do any of these things because we want to be difficult we're trying to maintain high standards of care, keep your child safe and get them better.

I did a night shift this week, 13 hours no time for a break and it wasn't until I got home I realised I hadn't been to the toilet. Certainly no time for a gossip!