To suggest that ff babies are generally more content than breastfed babies?

[mrsb26]

...because they are fuller for longer?

Following on from an article I read recently regarding a study that suggested that of its recipients, the ff babies were generally deemed to be more calm, easy to settle to sleep etc than breastfed babies.

I know this is bound to be a taboo subject, but I must say, as a breastfeeding mother myself to a 4 month old dd, I have considered whether she'd be more satisfied on formula. She's not the easiest of babies and, to me, seems fussier and more demanding than her formula fed peers.

For example, she is really hard to settle to sleep for naps. She will sometimes feed to sleep, but not always (I know this is a debate on itself). I have never been to the shops or out for a walk for half an hour without her fussing (even if it's just for a little bit). She will sit on my knee or go to someone else for five minutes tops before fussing and starting to cry.

I'm not doubting the benefits of the quality of breastmilk, obviously. I guess I just feel like I'm filling up a tank that's emptying as quick as it's filling^^ and that she's never fully satisfied. I know breastmilk is digested quicker, but still.

She has no issues re: reflux, tongue tie or anything either.

Of course there are behavioural differences amongst all babies, but as a general rule, what is your opinion? Interested to hear from anyone who has perhaps breastfed one baby and formula fed another.

Alis my (BF) DD lost too much weight and had to go on formula top-ups for 48 hours which made me ponder what FF parents did. I just assumed they'd have to give more formula but TBF I know naff all about formula feeding!

Quite true Crabbit! Bit sad really.

I got lots of very useful advice here when I was struggling with feeding in the early weeks with DS. Not in AIBU though, in the much more calm Infant Feeding section. AIBU is often a ridiculous bun fight.

Alis

Glad you had an alternative. I wonder if I was veering in that way myself, looking back. Those first few months of BF and sleeplessness, no family around etc - were very tough.

Interesting Piper, my baby was initially breastfed and weightloss was borderline for being hospitalised, I was told to express after every feed to get her weight back up. As you know newborns are not efficient feeders generally speaking so I had a difficult few days of almost constant breastfeeding/expressing.

Much was made about her weight and that she was slow to gain etc. I imagine second time round (if I'm lucky enough) I'll be less swayed/upset by the idiotic HV but at the time I felt like I was accused of not feeding her. Even after switching to formula, it took until she was 7 weeks to get back to her birth weight. At 6 months (today actually ) she's only 13.5lbs. She's just small.

Glad you got through it Bam

I think wrt breastfeeding all the physical aspects are explained really well throughout pregnancy and in support groups, but the pyschological impact isn't mentioned at all, which is where breastfeeding education falls apart imo.

Alis I can relate I remember that feeling, I was obsessed with DDs weight as she was also a slow gainer (I expressed lots too to get supply up as well as topping up with formula for a couple of days). Even now at 2.5 she's a dinky thing, shortest in her group at nursery but bright as a button, little chatterbox and a little joy to be around

I hope with next one I don't worry half as much!

piper your next one could be the complete opposite.
For me DS1 climbed centiles. Put weight on as a newborn, never lost it.
DD dropped from 50th centile to the 9th after she became unwell at around 2/3 week old.I was panicking but no one seemed concerned, but they do seem shocked when i tell them she was ff now. They all expect her to be bf because she is small. She is 9th centile for height and weight. Is only just in 12-18 month clothing and she's almost 2. (Next Friday)
DS2 was 10lb 10 at birth. He's called the superchunk and there's only 4lb difference between him and his sister! he's 98th centile weight and length. It's amazing how different babies are.

Same Piper. I imagine I'll start off breastfeeding again, I'd like to give a second child at least as much as I gave my first but I'll be far less backwards in coming forwards. The midwife who visited me pp, I should have kicked her out of my house, but I was too cowed and overwhelmed at the time. I did complain about her afterwards, the woman made me cry and didn't even apologise!

Support support support! That's what women need when a baby is born if they want to succeed at BF or in fact just getting the baby to put on weight and be healthy.

I get really wound up reading these threads. I felt so much pressure not to BF when my first was not thriving, and it took 6 weeks to figure out why she wasn't thriving. The only people urging me to continue BF were the NHS staff. Friends and family said I was killing myself and my baby, they were the breastapo, just give baby formula!

Except every time I tried that she wouldn't drink it, she'd be violently sick, she'd scream in agony. No one really believed me. The mother that couldn't BF or even FF, I'm sure there were a lot of people thinking neglect! How many lonely hours did I weep begging my baby to feed from me or a bottle? Sad heartbreaking time. One Very wise old HV nailed it, cows milk protein intolerance. But it took 6 weeks to get there. It should not take that long!

I Stopped eating dairy, baby changed instantly. Thank god I never gave up trying to BF because it was 4 months before I actually got a paediatrician and dietitian referral.

If I had not been pushed and pushed and encouraged to BF my milk would have dried up and my baby would have suffered and I'm not sure what well meaning family and friends would have made me do instead. It's like you encounter your first BF problem and they can't wait to pass you a bottle of ready made formula, and pat you on the back and utter the words,"we were right all along,"

So yeah I don't hate formula, and it feeds most babies, but that's all it does. I've used it for my eldest (well medicated non-cows milk) when I got pregnant and she refused my milk. but what women who start breastfeeding their babies need more than anything is Support! Proper informed non-judgemental support. That includes not having to listen to,"just give yourself a break Hun, and give the baby a bottle and you both get some sleep." You reckon women don't here this enough? Why should a woman who wants to BF be patronised into FF because it's seen as some silly middle class fashion. If someone is struggling to BF then the best thing anyone can advise is to urge that mum to seek proper support. Anyone trained in BF support is not going to insist a mother must BF, we are not allowed to, we give mothers proper qualified information to make their own decisions, trained to listen to the mother who is in tears because she has had enough, fed up of the pressure from all angles as to what to do and help her make the right choice for her.

People who are quick to push FF as the easy option when a mother is struggling to BF you are just as to blame for these mothers giving up on BF, getting PND, feeling like failures and living in shame as the breastapo who look down on those who formula feed.

So you've fed a baby or two, and they slept and were happy and you either BF or FF. Unless you actually have received proper training on BF and infant feeding the only thing you should be advising a mother is to seek out proper support.

And I know infant feeding support is woefully shit in this country, yet it would save a lot of money if the NHS actually employed BF support workers instead of relying on us trained volunteers. And yes forums like this one can be places of support of a sort but some people can't help just adding their own pearls of wisdom when a mum is desperate. Just because what you did worked for you does not mean it will work for her.

Actually captain when I was struggling to bf, I didn't want people telling me to just keep going or to get some support. I wanted someone to tell me that it's okay not to breastfeed, it's okay to give formula. Someone told me that, I switched to formula and started enjoying motherhood and enjoying my baby. It was what I needed to hear and what lots of mums do need to hear.

I don't think you can tell women not to talk about their own positive experiences. If I'd asked someone for support and they'd turned their backs on me and said "No go and ask a trained bf person" I don't know what I would have done.

Anecdotes and personal experience can be every bit as valid and helpful as facts and figures from a bf consultant.

But jorah that is why the UK has such dreadful breastfeeding rates which is not a good thing for babies. There is often some reason breastfeeding isn't working like the mother is drinking cow's milk. That shoudl always be looked into. Looking back over breastfeeding 5 including twins that has been some of the most important memorable experiences of my life and I want all women to have a good chance for that and think it's very sad the UK does so very badly over this. My new baby grandchild is currently breastfeeding and I am extremely grateful to NHS staff for their support of breastfeeding.

es ff is there for those who want it in the UK but it should be a hidden dirty secret for those who fail at bf or there is no possibility of a wet nurse or purchase of expressed milk.

Aren't you the solicitor who went back to work after 2 weeks?

You are not listening, I don't tell anyone to BF or FF I listen to what they want, I help them make the right decision. There is no point suggesting FF to someone struggling to BF if you are going to face the same problems is there?

Again we need to support women into making the right decision for them and their unique situation.

Amazing post captain

On the other hand though when I tried bfing mine they dropped off the chart, one was hospitalised. Both followed the same pattern but having read stuff on here with dd2 I had more confidence to continue with breastfeeding hence she ended up in hospital. Both once on formula shot straight back up to the 25th centile within a week where they stayed to 6 months.

The only real difference was that dd2 was a very determined feeder, pretty much constantly but it made no difference. Both latched fine and were initially happy to bf.

And if anyone tells me I didn't stick at it long enough or would have been fine with 'more support' they will be told where to get off. I was there and they weren't (sorry just pre empting personal experience).

For some people formula is best. If breast had been all available my dds may well have died and as a mum of a newborn baby that is such a horrible, horrible thing to have to even consider OK I could have mixed fed but I utterly hated it, just reinforced the failure.

But yes obviously when it goes well and everyone's happy bf is best. I have thought if I hadn't wanted to bf at all though it would have been much easier for me mentally. So those who want to ff second best or not get no judgment from me.

I agree that telling a mum struggling to BF to switch to formula is terrible advice captain but NO method of feeding should be a dirty little secret what a disgusting thing to say

Bam I have no issue with people bfing publicly. When I bf I would just get them out. I personally think it's a bit strange when the baby is old enough to talk but that's just my personal opinion. I'd never tell someone bfing their big toddler they were wrong

And for the person who said do I associate boobs primarily with sex, no I don't.

I find it bizarre some people think it's "sad" that I wouldn't want to bf a toddler and try to make out I have hang ups about boobs. What is sad about a woman exercising autonomy over her own boobs? I don't suddenly become a brood mare because I've had a child, I'm a human being who's feelings and opinions are still valid.

The idea that women with children's wants and needs are a luxury now they've had a baby is deeply misogynistic

Your terminology is odd - "brood mare"? A breastfeeding mother is a person not an animal.

You're right of course that bodily autonomy is paramount, and that no one should be telling a woman what they can and can't do with their body. But there's no need to use such judgemental terms about women who choose differently to you.

culture I was referring specifically to me. Someone said it was sad a grown woman didn't want to breast feed a toddler and I must have hang ups about boobs.

If she WANTS to then that's fine, obviously she's not being made to feel like a brood mare. However claiming a woman who doesn't want to is somehow wrong is putting that woman's feelings about the issue aside and I have issues with that