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AIBU?

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Original poster

To suggest that ff babies are generally more content than breastfed babies?

931 replies

mrsb26 · 08/12/2015 20:16

...because they are fuller for longer?

Following on from an article I read recently regarding a study that suggested that of its recipients, the ff babies were generally deemed to be more calm, easy to settle to sleep etc than breastfed babies.

I know this is bound to be a taboo subject, but I must say, as a breastfeeding mother myself to a 4 month old dd, I have considered whether she'd be more satisfied on formula. She's not the easiest of babies and, to me, seems fussier and more demanding than her formula fed peers.

For example, she is really hard to settle to sleep for naps. She will sometimes feed to sleep, but not always (I know this is a debate on itself). I have never been to the shops or out for a walk for half an hour without her fussing (even if it's just for a little bit). She will sit on my knee or go to someone else for five minutes tops before fussing and starting to cry.

I'm not doubting the benefits of the quality of breastmilk, obviously. I guess I just feel like I'm filling up a tank that's emptying as quick as it's filling^^ and that she's never fully satisfied. I know breastmilk is digested quicker, but still.

She has no issues re: reflux, tongue tie or anything either.

Of course there are behavioural differences amongst all babies, but as a general rule, what is your opinion? Interested to hear from anyone who has perhaps breastfed one baby and formula fed another.

OP posts:
BillBrysonsBeard · 10/12/2015 17:41

Awful judgy post MrsW. What a lovely person you are trying to making women feel guilty. Motherhood is hard, leave people alone! Disgusting.

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 17:45

MrsW

Thsts fucking offensive. Several points

  1. my ff baby is ff because he didn't take to bf. You know why? Because he was transferred to NICU without me. It saved his life. The result meant he had bottles before the breast. Do I care? No, because it saved DS

  2. I do enjoy the freedom ff gives me. Why should it be down to me to do all the feeds? Why does the baby's dad get off Scott free? In my case I'm a single mum and I have a mood disorder so having someone else able to help me feed DS is great

  3. I also have a life that exists outside of DS. I'm a mum yes but I'm also a human being. I don't stop existing as a person because I've had a baby.

No one has bashed breastfeeding. Breastfeed if you want. But take your head out your arse and stop being so sanctimonious about it because you're not better than us plebs who formula feed

Katastrophe13 · 10/12/2015 17:46

Pyjama, I'm same as you, feel embarrassed to FF in public, like a failure because I could no longer sustain my babies using my body. Don't need anyone to make me feel more shit about it than I already do. I do all the feeding. Even my DH hardly feeds her because I am her mother and I want to do it and basically everything else for her because she is my baby and I love her so much. It was never about not wanting to make sacrifices it was a necessity for both me and the babies and I think it's like that for most FF mums.

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 17:48

I'm really embarrassed to ff

Angry

That makes me so annoyed people have made you feel like that. There is nothing wrong with ff whatever the reason, some people are just twats

Pyjamaramadrama · 10/12/2015 17:59

I know I shouldn't but I realise that tyres always someone who's going to be round the corner thinking that they're better and making horrible assumptions.

As ds is up all night anyway it would have been far easier for me to just pop him on my breast.

DeoGratias · 10/12/2015 18:00

Breastfed all the way here including twins. It rocks.

I don't think it helps though to write about it because people have very strong views.

What is the case however is the UK has one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in Europe and the higher your class and higher your intelligence in the UK the more likely you will breastfeed.

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:01

I also resent the ignorant comments trying to dismiss all of the benefits that breastfeeding provides for the baby and mother.

This. Pisses me off that people pretend the benefits aren't there because it's convenient to their choice (mind you it's a minority who do this TBF)

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:02

Pyjama you shouldn't have to feel like that. I felt awkward once at clinic when EVERYONE was bf and DS was hungry. I took out a bottle and another mum looked visibly relieved and took one out too Grin

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:03

Who's said there aren't benefits to breastfeeding? There's benefits to both ways of feeding

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:06

Tali people state all the time that benefits are minimal including on this thread and genuinely believe there's no difference between FF and BF.

Sharoncatastrophe · 10/12/2015 18:07

I think the message that breast is best is out there and personally found the support very good if you ask for it.
What I've seen most often though is friends and family with no idea how hard breastfeeding is and as a result have unrealistic expectations and think they're doing something wrong- most often that they're not making enough milk. So often I've heard women describe perfectly normal breastfeeding, then end the conversation with "and that's why we couldn't breastfeed anymore"

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:11

Piper the benefits can be overhyped to be fair. There are advantages and negatives for both, one isn't "better". But no ones saying there are no benefits to breastfeeding.

Iirc though the only PROVEN objective benefits are less infections short term. The other benefits can't be separated out from other influences.

A recent study on siblings also showed very little difference.

So not saying no benefits but it's not what people make out

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/12/2015 18:12

Quite true Deo wrt to those statistics I'd like to know (not from you, just generally) how much breastfeeding "counts". Ebf to 6 months is what, 1%? But the babies who start off being breastfed is much, much higher. So when looking at averages, what do they mean? Someone from a better class is more likely to give it a go or someone from a better class will stick with it to 6 months+?

There are benefits to breastfeeding which is why I started off doing so but it is not actively detrimental to formula feed.

I'd be interested for people's opinions on weaning, as we're talking feeding our children. I'm coming across people who are weaning at 12 weeks, which I find surprising given how emphatic the "not before 17 weeks" NHS guidelines are.

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:12

Sharon do they think they're doing something wrong or do they just not want to do it? I know if DS had latched but had been cluster feeding and feeding 2 hourly I'd have given up not because I thought anything was wrong but because I wouldn't like it

Sharoncatastrophe · 10/12/2015 18:15

Maybe. But if they'd expected to feed for 2 hours every evening then they probably would've been more prepared for it. Most people don't realise that's normal

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:15

Alis I'm weaning 15 week old DS. He has reflux, is screaming for food but refuses bottles, takes bottles and throws up, and kept trying to steal my food. He's had issues with pooing since he was born.

Since weaning he's more settled at feeds, throws up less, isn't as upset when he poos...

People will moan at me for it but I was advised I may have to wean early, and with a hungry bottle refuser there isn't much I can do

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:16

Pioer the benefits can be overhyped to be fair. There are advantages and negatives for both, one isn't "better"

Breastmilk is a better substance for human babies than formula. That's a fact. And re them being overhyped I tend to follow when NHS and WHO endorse the benefits

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:16

Sharon I agree more breastfeeding education would be great

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:17

Iirc though the only PROVEN objective benefits are less infections short term. The other benefits can't be separated out from other influences.

Link?

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:18

Piper not in every case it isn't. Long term the benefits are dubious.

The best you can say is it definitely passes on antibodies which is why I gave DS colostrum. After that it's more difficult to work out what benefit is from where

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:20

FWIW I loathe the term "breast is best". It reeks of sanctimony. As its only "best" in terms of formula milk. And even the it doesn't show the whole picture (babies being admitted to NICU etc). I wish they go with "breast is natural".

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/12/2015 18:20

Tali as I understand it, weaning early is quite often recommended for reflux babies (I know a couple of women who were recommend to do so by their doctor). Hope your son continues to improve, reflux sounds so difficult to handle.

I should have been more clear in my post as I know there are medical reasons to wean early, was just meaning non medical reasons.

PiperChapstick · 10/12/2015 18:22

Breast milk as a substance is better for babies than formula milk as its what they are designed to have. That's not to say BF is a better choice in all cases (with stories of babies being admitted to hospital on this thread as a good example). But there's no getting away from the fact that the substance is better suited to humans than formula which is the milk of a whole other species

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 18:22

Breast is natural would be a much better slogan