To think you can't get your ass on your shoulders if people don't prioritize your last minute holiday wedding?

[CheerfulYank]

I have a good friend who got engaged end of November and has decided to get married on New Years Day.

I tried to warn her that it would be tough for people to help her plan things, have a bachelorette party etc because a lot of people have holiday obligations. She said "if it's important to them, they'll make it."

I have Christmas at my in laws this weekend and Christmas at my parents next weekend as well as all the stuff we do every year with the DC....cutting the tree down, visiting Santa, etc. Her other friends have similar obligations and so I've said that maybe we can get together got her bachelorette stuff after the wedding instead. She said she doesn't want to do it if it can't be before. And today she said that no one seems to care about the wedding.

I think people do care but it's just a hard time of year. She seems really put out. Who is BU?

The hen do isn't easy because she has a select group she wants there and there's no way there's a weekend night when we can all get together between now and Christmas. Someone won't be able to make it.

Facebook informs me they've been together since June.

She is telling her man that she is desperate to have that ring by doing everything in such haste. She is going to end up getting hurt again, and so are her children. If I were a betting women I would put money on them splitting by Christmas 2016.

I present you with the lyrics to Ass On Your Shoulders by Busta Rhymes, who I'm sure you'll all agree is a veritable, modern day Cole Porter.

www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bustarhymes/assonyourshoulders.html

If a friend of mine did this I would seriously assume they were having some kind of breakdown. Is there someone who can 'talk her down' and get this wedding postponed? Very weird.

It's really not like her. She's never really dated anyone or involved anyone in her girls' lives. DD2's dad was a random friend with benefits precisely because she wouldn't actually date anyone because she didn't want DD1 getting hurt and didn't really have time in her life for a relationship. (DD2 was an accidental pregnancy; her "father" has never seen or acknowledged her and it will be easy for this man to adopt her.) The groom is her close friend's brother, otherwise I don't even know if she'd have met anyone for years...she is social but pretty much focused on work and her daughters.

I do worry, but I don't know what I can do. She's so stubborn and her pride is ridiculous. I've said things here and there but I don't want to alienate her because I want her to come to me if it falls apart. I haven't seen any huge red flags with this man yet. I feel bad for him a bit because his family of origin seems kind of dysfunctional. I hope he and my friend can be good for each other.

Actually doing things on a whim is like her, just not the man part.

Oh gross sprink! That "song" is vile!

Well, if there are people closer to her than you I guess you just have to manage her expectations with a firm hand. Pointing out that announcing a wedding around 3 weeks before Christmas, to take place, at New Year means you cannot possibly be as involved as she would like... You sound like a good friend.

This has been a most entertaining thread, OP you are outstanding polite sticking to your original concept whilst excitable mumnetters try to derail you with assonyourshoulder usage and compliments I salute you. I also love 's as on your shoulders' and think every single one of us should attempt to use oil in conversation today and report back. .

And yanbu I am with Damsel and Mathanxiety it's all a bit wrong and she's possibly heading for a fall. I would take a bottle of bubbly over and really have a chat, see if you can get her to postpone it, give everyone time whilst clearly 'celebrating' for her.

Random oil and ass change there this kindle hates me

Can you say to someone, 'oh get your ass off your shoulders' does that work?

Well of course it's rushed etc but that aside, I think the idea of having a wedding on New Year's Day is lovely. It's a day for new starts, resolutions, promises, plus, it's really boring so it would be nice to have something different to do.

Agree a New Year's Day wedding sounds lovely but I would expect it would be done precisely to avoid lots of guests and a hen do and all the trappings. It does sound a bit of a whirlwind romance but perhaps they've actually known each other for years as they have her close friend in common. You sound like a good friend and as a PP says it would be lovely to get together for a low key hen do - i suppose more akin to a baby shower in terms of being a daytime thing not a wild night out - in the lull between Christmas and New Year.

I too think getting married in NYE is lovely. But only if you've been planning it for a months and been able to give everyone lots of notice OR you plan a very small, simple wedding with no extra bits like a hen do.

Youll have to let us know how it all pans out Cheerful. It seem like a mission impossible to me.

I would be delighted to attend a wedding on NYD (if the weather was ok to get there). But it wouldn't be my first choice for a wedding day because SOME people are busy, the weather can be rubbish, drivers on the roads still drunk from the night before etc etc. Not everyone goes out and lives it up every NYE. Some people will doubtless have plans, others won't.

But, whenever you have a wedding, people can't come, you just have to accept that when you invite people.

Cupcakes? Bacon rolls might be a more prudent option, depending on the party like tendencies of her guests over NYE.

Why doesn't she have it Valentine's Day? So romantic:)

'She said "if it's important to them, they'll make it."'

Some people have to learn the hard way, don't they?

Yes, I appreciate the sentiment of New Years Day :) but maybe next year would have been a bit easier!

I think anyone planning a wedding around Christmas time has to realise that it will be inconvenient for a lot of people.

I've seen threads before where people rhapsodise about Christmas weddings and the candlelight and the mulled wine reception etc etc. and dismiss the concerns of people who are just too busy and hassled at that time of year to travel to a wedding, get ready for it, stay overnight etc. etc.

If you want a Christmas wedding, accept that it might be a small one or that some of the guests swooning over the fur trimmed flowergirls and carol singers in the hotel grounds would rather be at -home wrapping presents and untangling fairy lights.

Cheerful - this is your mate, this is. Her ass all up on her shoulders while a bloke tries to sell her fake Guggi beard bags

Lol boo! It's a striking resemblance :o

Hi Fid!

Every weekend in December has been booked for about three months here. Trying to find a day to get together with my family was a struggle but we found one day all of us was free. Kids have parties, panto, activities etc.

There's no way I could fit in anything now.

The last thing I would want, in the middle of all the rushing around and trying to meet up with friends and family, would be a hens night or having to travel to a wedding.

my december 2015 weekends gets booked in december 2014 at the latest. But then i LOVE christmas rituals. I am sure my kids will organise nothing and be by the seat of their pants christmasers.

I got married during the Christmas season, but we gave everyone 6 months notice. Also this was in the US; Christmas is not quite as all consuming as it seems to be these days in the UK. Almost everyone we invited came, including some who had to travel some distance. But we were in Florida and there were a lot of folks from up north (I married a Yankee) who were glad to spend a few days in the warmth.