To think you can't get your ass on your shoulders if people don't prioritize your last minute holiday wedding?

[CheerfulYank]

I have a good friend who got engaged end of November and has decided to get married on New Years Day.

I tried to warn her that it would be tough for people to help her plan things, have a bachelorette party etc because a lot of people have holiday obligations. She said "if it's important to them, they'll make it."

I have Christmas at my in laws this weekend and Christmas at my parents next weekend as well as all the stuff we do every year with the DC....cutting the tree down, visiting Santa, etc. Her other friends have similar obligations and so I've said that maybe we can get together got her bachelorette stuff after the wedding instead. She said she doesn't want to do it if it can't be before. And today she said that no one seems to care about the wedding.

I think people do care but it's just a hard time of year. She seems really put out. Who is BU?

Yikes, CheerfulYank. I hope it all works out for her too, but she took a huge risk with a wedding at such short notice and not only with having friends rally around to make it a great event, but with her fiance too. I would be a little concerned about her grasp of reality if I were a friend of hers, or about being a sucker for getting slapped in the face. Doing it this way almost invites disappointment. Does she have a very poor opinion of herself?

The most I would suggest you might do is an afternoon at a salon getting your nails done or a massage, etc. some time in the lull between Christmas and New Years, followed by afternoon tea somewhere, with everyone home in time to tuck little ones into bed.

Why doesn't she just go to the Justice of the Peace and then have a party after the holidays? YANBU.

No idea. Groom's children all live with their mothers and won't be here for actual Christmas Day, don't know if it's better or worse! Her dad has a lot of money which may help grease the wheels. It's going to be small-ish but I think she's grossly underestimating how much work even a small wedding is.

I don't mind a quiet NYE, DC3 is only 6 months and quite attached to me so I wasn't planning on doing much anyway. :)

A New Years Day wedding would mean half the guests had hangovers before the wedding rather than afterwards

Yanbu, why are they doing it so quickly?

'Groom's children all live with their mothers and won't be here for actual Christmas Day, '

He sounds like a real catch.

I know expat.

He does pay for them all and sees them a lot but...yeah. They are leaving the day after Christmas to pick them all up and have them for a week. I know shit happens but five kids by five people is a logistical nightmare in my book. Ah well. Not my circus and all.

She's just told me she's going to be doing all the cupcakes herself. I'm crying laughing. At some point you just have to throw your hands up and let people do their thing, I guess.

I love 'getting your ass on your shoulders' - I see it as getting so tense & hunched your arse (ass) literally creeps up your back till it's up on your shoulders.

Unless you're giving a donkey a piggy back. In which case you're mixing your metafarms

R

My very proper late MIL would use 'she's got her arse in her hand' as a description of someone sulking... Must admit to a double-take the first time I heard it - but it's the perfect (Black Country) description

Oops, random R.

It's going to be an interesting wedding, that's for sure!

I always thought it meant that your head was so far up your own arse that you, literally, have an ass on your shoulders.

Oh Cheerful she's gone full on Bridezilla hasn't she?

It sounds like she's got so wrapped up in the wedding, she's lost perspective of everything else.

'she's seen her arse' and 'she's got her arse in her hand' both mean someone is sulking, usually by their own cause. Does 'ass on her shoulders' mean the same thing? Sorry to keep going back to that, I know it's not the point of your thread. But it's a brilliant expression

Is she totally desperate? Is he Ronnie Woods or some rock star?

Yes it means sulking. :o

Expat no, she's always been very choosy! I suspect some shagging sorcery.

He must have a cock like a magic wand to sprog up all these women and leave them with kids.

Could your friend be pregnant? It does seem very rushed. She is going to be disappointed with the attendance because they have planned the wedding to coincide with a major holiday and given guests such short notice. Many people will already have New Year's Eve plans by now. Also if any guests have to travel from out of town to attend then the logistics would be a nightmare, transport will be terrible that time of year and hotels booked up or expensive. She is BU to judge people who can't make it. I don't understand why she is putting herself through so much hassle, organising a wedding in such a short space of time during the festive season will be so stressful and many vendors will already be booked. I think if she is going to plan a wedding for this season she should give herself at least a year. I think she is going to be very stressed out and then dissatisfied with the result and the turnout and she will look back and regret rushing. It could be a lot better if she gave herself more time to plan.

No damsel, she definitely isn't.

SIBU to get married on New Year's Day full stop! The last thing I'd feel like doing on NYD is getting out of my pjs and eating and drinking again!

She's setting herself a task and a half organising her wedding over Christmas.

But as for the hen do, that's easy surely? I'd do it for my friend, ass on shoulders or not

Ass on shoulders is golden.

But yes, she IS BU. Have they been together long?

Ass or arse?

Ex less than a year, I think. Maybe close to a year?

Ath I'm American, so ass. :)