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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find christmas work parties a bit sleazy. . .

101 replies

hilzypop · 06/12/2015 22:17

Do you? I happy to be shouted down on this but I am starting to wonder. . .I have been to a few of these bring a party to a party things and a few work leaving doos and I find everyone gets a bit carried away. Men who I usually like and respect start to get a bit over friendly and give me the creeps by being a bit touchy feely or a bit personal. Then there is the dancing- two members of staff basically simulated a sex act on the dance floor- the sleazy music that was being played didnt help we had getting giggy with it sex bomb sex is on fire do u think Im sexy! Im no prude but its a bit cringe! I've also been to a party where u had to play games like pass the balloon etc which all got a bit ick as well. I love the chance to socialise with work people but it always gets weird, I see it as an extension of work in a way and wouldnt want to get too pissed and do someting I regretted!

OP posts:
Judydreamsofhorses · 06/12/2015 23:01

We don't have one at my (public sector) work. Staff get an e-card, that's it. I'm quite glad, tbh.

elvisthehamster · 06/12/2015 23:02

All mine have always been Lunches out at a restaurant , then cocktails, shots/maybe some dancing but usually just a bit of a laugh and a carry on-no sleazy stuff!! That's in 3 different places of work in the last 20 years -some of the ones described above sound horrible I would be avoiding too!

blueshoes · 06/12/2015 23:02

I have only ever worked in City law firms. Not come across the OP's scenario in almost 20 years of X'mas parties. Maybe I leave too early.

A lot more fun happens on offsites ...

treaclesoda · 06/12/2015 23:05

I've been to some bonkers Christmas work parties, but I must admit that there was never any sleazy stuff, no groping or nudity, they were just mad for the sheer wrecklessness of it all. I rather enjoyed them. Blush

Having said that, I have heard some horror stories. If what I've heard is true, the NHS is a hotbed of sleaziness at Christmas party time, and senior consultants and junior nurses seem to bond quite spectacularly.

DeepBlueLake · 06/12/2015 23:12

In my experience, a lot of the time it's only a few (mostly the younger ones) that get sleazy and off their face which is normally after the sit down meal when they go to a club.

That said, last year I did see one of the older married employees snogging an office junior outside the bogs.

I'm not going to our Christmas do this year as I am on mat leave, am quite sad about it.

GreenPetal94 · 06/12/2015 23:15

I've worked at a lot of places and have enjoyed a variety of parties. Never seen anything sleazy really. I thought that was just in "The Office" on TV!

crispytruffle · 06/12/2015 23:16

I remember one where we all got really ill, bad case of either off wine or food and there were a few cases of people throwing up, our boss had to call the venue the next day to complain. The following year we had our christmas party in the afternoon! Never been to a sleazy one though.

M48294Y · 06/12/2015 23:21

Mind you, the Christmas lunch of one of the very respectable small London publishing companies I worked for involved a 50-ish director shagging a 25-ish assistant in the loos of a very lovely London restaurant once. So, yes, sleazy.

notquitehuman · 06/12/2015 23:51

Depends on the company. The worst one I went to was when I worked for a recruitment firm. It was in a marquee with belly dancers, fire eaters etc and had sort of an Arabian nights theme. Everyone got shitfaced on bad free wine. Utterly shitfaced. Large lines of coke were being done in the portaloos, the sleazy older execs were just randomly grabbing female employees, and one of the married managers grabbed my ass. By about midnight I got sick of it and got my boyfriend to pick me up. After I left a couple of people got caught shagging in a field behind the marquee, and apparently the coach back was full of people crying and puking. Lovely.

I reckon some people just don't get out much all year and see the party as a way of letting off steam. But why embarass yourself in front of work people? Cringe.

reni2 · 07/12/2015 00:06

Did anybody photocopy their bum or is that no longer done?

ComposHatComesBack · 07/12/2015 00:06

Ours manage to be both dull and tense at the same time.

Management in one corner, staff in the other. Management clearly obliged to be there and counting the minutes til they can decently go. A fewer of the newer management tupes try and 'mix' with us. Their idea of mixing is akin to the Queen at a garden party, bland, generic questions and desperately trying to cover up the fact they haven't bothered to learn our names.

As the evening progresses the mood turns bitter, emboldened by the booze someone will declare 'I'm going to go over and tell those management cunts what I really think of them' except no one does. It breaks up around nine, management run for taxis, we go to the pub, more angry and bitter talk and joyless drinking.

We all wake up the next morning with a deep sense of regret and brutal hangovers, swearing it is the last year we'll go. But the lure of the free cans of warm Tennents and a running buffet is too strong and the charade continues year after year.

Original poster
hilzypop · 07/12/2015 07:23

Its the monday morning after the saturday before. . .hopefully everyone will be back to normal- presumably my creepy boss will keep his hands to himself! Until next year. . .

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 07/12/2015 11:25

I ne ergo now. I like some of my workmates but have done too many Christmas parties and don't really want to be forced into spending even more time with workmates than I already do.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2015 11:32

I don't go to things like that now.

The sight of nameless to protect the chronically stupid having sex with two men in a glass walled office - OPEN to the party! will never leave me.

Once you've seen your boss get sucked off you know it's time to leave. The party, the job, the whole company.

I'm self employed now. When I get rid of this cold I'm going to buy a bottle of decent wine and toast myself.

Enjolrass · 07/12/2015 11:33

Every Christmas party I have been to (work or otherwise) have had people who flash or start coming on to people. Although at my last work place it was women who tended to this more.

I remember a senior manager being chased around the dance floor by an employee who kept trying to grind on him.

I generally stick with the people I know and so far the sleaze has been ignored and kept to a minimum.

Some people just act like dicks Grin

Elendon · 07/12/2015 11:34

My exH met his new squeeze (the OW) at the Christmas Party, such a cliche - this was a group of professionals, all creme de la creme.

Sleazy and a waste of money and company time. Best to get a bonus in the pay cheque.

PolShelby · 07/12/2015 11:56

I work in finance and our Christmas party is always sleazy.

Some people get so drunk before they arrive that they spend the evening being sick all over the toilets. Or stagger about falling over and trying to talk to people, but they are so drunk they can't get any words out.

Some of the female managers are notorious for turning up wearing very revealing outfits. They usually end up grinding on the dance floor and kissing each other. Also a couple of years ago, they grabbed one of the senior execs (older gentleman, very quiet and reserved) and they clawed his shirt off Shock ripped the buttons off and everything. He looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

Then of course there's always the married people getting it on with other married people. Hate to think of their partners at home with no idea of what their spouse is really like. Next day is always awkward in the office.

Finally, we have the creepy gropers. Being a relatively young female (30 now but have worked there for 10 years) I've lost count of times that older, usually married men have tried it on with me. This year a guy I've never met (I'm on mat leave currently) decided to leer at me that he's 'got a thing about women with dark hair' and proceeded to follow me around staring at me all night. Not at all intimidating!

Of course, I always leave early Grin

Luckily these people are in the minority and the colleagues in my team and really nice. Otherwise I suppose I wouldn't go!

reni2 · 07/12/2015 11:59

This all makes the photocopying of bums and boobs sound very innocent and quaint.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 07/12/2015 12:12

I intend to cop off with the boss at ours. Although I am married to him, and I'll wait till we get home, so not really that scandalous Grin.

PolShelby · 07/12/2015 12:13

No chance of photocopying body parts reni2 , we're not allowed parties in the office anymore because there's too much mess afterwards. Like sick in the bins Grin

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 07/12/2015 12:14

Yanbu I have seen and experienced exactly the same thing though only at one company.

reni2 · 07/12/2015 12:15

And no doubt no paper left in the copier after the party, PolShelby Grin. It could be a party game, like memory but match the face with the bum.

BarbaraofSeville · 07/12/2015 12:38

Maybe it's the difference between whether the employer pays for the party and booze or if staff pay for it themselves.

We have lunch out and afternoon/evening drinks but it's all our own time and money. We get nothing from our employer. Very little in the way of sleaze although once or twice (in decades) a couple of single people get off with each other.

NahItsOkTa · 07/12/2015 12:41

I worked in the City during the 80's and 90's. I've witnessed every example of tawdry behaviour detailed on this thread, and more, some of which if they happened now the perpetrators would be explaining themselves in court. I'm very glad to have left that life.

EponasWildDaughter · 07/12/2015 12:43

YANBU
I've been to loads of xmas do's. They've ranged from dainty dinners at the most exclusive London venues, to piss up's in dubious filthy dives. It's not the 'fault' of the xmas party per se though, iyswim, it's the people which make the party.

In other words in any large group of people there will be a percentage of them who will happily be unfaithful to their partners and/or generally behave like a twat given the opportunity. (i've been the twat getting off with the married boss, to my shame) (Mind you he wasn't actually my boss, i was a guest) (Long time ago) If the company has provided the opportunity, that is how some people will behave.