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Original poster

To be sick of DH disengaging at weekends?

61 replies

LovingLiberty · 05/12/2015 23:40

DH has always been a bit lazy with the DCs and around the house but I swear he's getting worse. I feel like a single parent and actually quite lonely and down at weekends as he's here but just disengages.

He's either watching TV, playing on the Xbox, on the computer, playing on his phone, or napping!

Today we went out for the day and he was in a bad mood because he was 'tired', and just wouldn't engage in any conversation. I drove home and he was either snoozing or on his phone the whole time. He doesn't really engage with the kids in any way. All he wants to do is please himself. And needless to say, all chores, childcare and everything else is left to me!

Then tonight he fell asleep in front of the TV really early.

It's like I never have any adult company, and it is getting me down.

We both work full time all week as I'm sure that will crop up at some point in this thread.

OP posts:
MistressoftheYoniverse · 06/12/2015 00:47

Cut that t.v cord...

sumoweeble · 06/12/2015 01:02

Sounds crap, LovingLiberty. What is going well in your relationship? Not much, by the sounds of things.:( You are not even talking to each other. Life is too short to live like that for long. If couples can't find ways to talk to each other and express their needs and wishes and communicate love, care and tenderness to each other then they are dead in the water and have to split up or be supremely miserable as contempt and indifference and disrespect creep in and poison everything. If you think there's a realistic possibility of a way back to enjoying life with him you could try couples therapy but if not work on getting yourself and him properly separated asap, I'd say.

PoundingTheStreets · 06/12/2015 01:08

I've been in a relationship with a lazy twat and been a single parent. Believe me, being a single parent is far easier because at least you plan things on the knowledge that there is just you - and so your plan is a workable one. The trouble with a crap partner is that your plans are constantly broken and you constantly feel let down. It's way worse.

Sadly, while I know a lot of people will consider it melodramatic - because unless he's being unfaithful or abusive it is of course a petty overreaction Hmm - the only ammunition you have in this battle is an ultimatum that you won't put up with it and will leave if he doesn't shape up. And if you're not prepared to stand by that ultimatum, the only other course of action to you is to put up and shut up. Sad

RhiWrites · 06/12/2015 10:57

I think you, lottytheladybird and bogeybrains should get together and form a crap/lazy husbands support club.

There seem to be a lot of lazy fuckers out there who have checked out of parenting.

Turning up the TV when you try to talk to him is a whole new level of crapness.

timelytess · 06/12/2015 11:13

Disengaging at weekends is suspicious. Check his phone/s etc.

Dontunderstand01 · 06/12/2015 12:10

He turns the tv up when you speak?! What an absolute twat.

Agree with mathanxiety completely. If he won't listen to you then relate might be a tall order.

You deserve better.

mytimewillcome · 06/12/2015 12:31

I was in the same situation. I kicked him out and we'll be getting divorced in the new year. I realise now he had the upper hand. That is no longer the case. But it does mean you have to let the lazy fuckers have the children on their own. He still naps while looking after the 3 year old.

Namechanger2015 · 06/12/2015 13:56

I've been in a relationship with a lazy twat and been a single parent. Believe me, being a single parent is far easier because at least you plan things on the knowledge that there is just you - and so your plan is a workable one. The trouble with a crap partner is that your plans are constantly broken and you constantly feel let down. It's way worse.

^ totally agree with this.

Your H sounds like my useless exH, staring intently st the to anytime I tried to have a reasonable discussion with him. So much better as a single parent without him.

He sounds very disrespectful of your needs.

OnlyLovers · 06/12/2015 13:59

What a cunt he is.

I'd second the suggestion of going away for the weekend. No warning. Just fuck off and disengage, like he does.

But yes, what DID happen when you stopped doing things? (I'm not going to use the word 'striking' as it implies that all this is your job, rather than the shared responsibilities of a grown-up household).

mintoil · 06/12/2015 15:32

I agree with PP - turning the tv up when I tried to talk would infuriate me to boiling point.

Do what math advocated - Relate or Solicitors. He shapes up or ships out. Life is too short to tolerate this level of disrespect and unhappiness.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 18:51

Any bloke who turned the telly up when I tried to talk to him would be out of my life immediately

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