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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you can work from home from a bedroom?

59 replies

FiveHoursSleep · 05/12/2015 20:14

We live in a decent sized 4 bedroom semi with a good sized study downstairs, but have 4 kids, so our youngest two share. The trouble is they are an almost 8 yr old boy and an almost 10 yo girl and understandably, this arrangement is not working very well any more.
My DH has had the study to himself for the last 9 years and he does have both a work and a personal computer in there, but he works from home maybe once a month ( more like once every two months). Sometimes he has to quickly check something in the middle of the night, but this is once a year, every 6 months- so not very often.
I work from home every day and have a desk in the through lounge
I want DH to clear out of the study so our eldest can have his study as a bedroom. We don't have a lot of space for a desk for him but we could fit a one in our bedroom.
We've discussed the possibility of extending , or a loft conversion or a garden office but the house needs rewiring ( then decorating), and we also need new windows so the money would be better spent on that.
AI really BU to be asking him to work from our bedroom? He says it's ridiculous and it's not my ideal either, but I think it's more important for the kids to have their own bedrooms.
Of course I could move upstairs to the bed room and let him have my desk downstairs but I'm at home more often than he is, and like to be able to keep an eye on what the kids are up to when they are home from school.
The older two are 12 and 13 year old girls and they have a small room each; asking them to share would result in WW3!

OP posts:
JellyMouldJnr · 05/12/2015 20:17

He has a whole room he uses less than once a month? YANBU..

Akire · 05/12/2015 20:18

You manage to work in the lounge everyday when there an empty study? Either you have study to work from everyday-he has table lounge for occasional work. Or give kids a bedroom each.
He's being v odd over room he hardly uses! If not now when? When kids are 9/11 10 and 12?

RumbleMum · 05/12/2015 20:18

YANBU, especially if it's only once a month. I work from home three days a week in the kids' playroom (obviously the kids aren't in it!) and it's fine. What's he specifically objecting to?

CharmingChampignon · 05/12/2015 20:24

DH works from home 2 days a week from a camping table in the bedroom that's put away when not in use.

Is DH amenable to using your lounge desk? Couldn't you just share given it's so infrequent?

merrymouse · 05/12/2015 20:25

Is this more about where you put stuff than where you each work?

How big are these computers, how much does he have in the study and what is on your desk?

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 05/12/2015 20:26

One of his computers is a work one, with a different connection, but I suspect he is just pissed off at the prospect of losing his man cave.
He does use it more often than once a month, but more for transferring all our movies onto a hard drive, listening to music etc, but he only uses it for actual work very rarely.
It's also a real mess, I just leave him to it and it's going to take a lot of work on his behalf to get it tidy enough to make it suitable for someone to sleep in it.

OP posts:
Akire · 05/12/2015 20:27

I would be very tempted to move one kids in there and see how long before he notices! Given he rarely goes in there.

Lostinland · 05/12/2015 20:29

Can the older girls share instead then the younger two? But yes,but silly that you have to use a desk somewhere when there's a empty studio in the house.

Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 05/12/2015 20:29

I have one monitor and my diary and all my paperwork on my desk. He has two computers but can go down to one monitor.
He has all his books and stuff in his study and we will have to put those into storage or something, but it's not like he refers to them all the time. He is a bit of a hoarder if I don't stay on top of it, and it looks like I shouldn't have allowed him to hog the study for so long. :(

OP posts:
Original poster
FiveHoursSleep · 05/12/2015 20:32

The older girls can't share. DD2 has autism and would not be able to cope with sharing. DD1 and DD3 could I suppose, but DD1 is a typical teenager and retreats to her room frequently.

OP posts:
zombiesarecoming · 05/12/2015 20:38

Just move a child into the study around his stuff and tell them to get on with it as its there room now, give them permission to live his stuff if he doesn't

But seriously is he really this much of a twat, they need there own bedrooms don't ask its yours and there house as well just rearrange things and tell him to like it or sulk

zombiesarecoming · 05/12/2015 20:39

Live should be move

Fucking hate autocorrect

EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 20:41

I WFH every day and on a Friday I take my laptop and do my work in bed for the morning :) and it's marvellous :) DP can't understand go I do it!

If it's one day every two months why doesn't he just work on the dinning table?

merrymouse · 05/12/2015 20:43

Sounds like your problem is that he wants his own bedroom. Doesn't seem to have much to do with work.

notquitehuman · 05/12/2015 20:45

I don't know why you haven't grabbed the study for yourself yet! But yes, one of the joys of some WFH jobs is that you can often slob on the couch or recline in bed with the laptop.

If you're running out of bedrooms then it's right that he should give up his man cave study to make the living situation easier.

sleeponeday · 05/12/2015 20:46

He's being grossly unreasonable. I appreciate it is lovely to have a private den, but when you are a married adult with kids, for most of us the private den becomes the bedroom.

If he occasionally needs to check stuff in the middle of the night, then surely an office tucked into a corner of the bedroom would be ideal, anyway.

cheapskatemum · 05/12/2015 20:46

YANBU. Your DD2 has autism? As I'm sure you are aware, there's usually a genetic link...

Clarabumps · 05/12/2015 20:50

Cheapskate ???

girlandboy · 05/12/2015 20:50

Change his study to a bedroom. If he decides that he REALLY needs his own space then he'll have to build a garden office at some future date (when funds allow?) But until then, he could work where you do seeing as it's fairly infrequent.
I work in a garden office (shedquarters) and it's brilliant. It also wasn't too expensive.

Clarabumps · 05/12/2015 20:51

I'm confused by that last comment.

PurpleDaisies · 05/12/2015 20:52

YANBU. Your DD2 has autism? As I'm sure you are aware, there's usually a genetic link...

Hmm What exactly do you mean by this?

Shineyshoes10 · 05/12/2015 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annandale · 05/12/2015 20:57

I've seen very good office setups in understairs spaces? (disclaimer: there is no way we could fit anything under our stairs).

Certainly on the face of it it is absolutely ridiculous that your son can't have the room as a bedroom. Could your DH have a desk in your bedroom?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 05/12/2015 20:59

He can't have a room to himself when ther is a need for it as a bedroom. It's just not fair. Don't see why he needs desktops either, why doesn't he use laptops like most people.

Stimpack · 05/12/2015 21:02

If it's CAD work etc then a desktop provides more grunt than a laptop.