Aibu to think that mil didn't deserve to be talked to like this by the teacher?

[Sothisishowitfeels]

I am in hospital with my 5 week old who has a chest infection she is on oxygen now and being tube fed . We only came in last night and dh had to go into work for a few hours so I needed to call mil to collect my 3 year old from nursery.

This morning dd was getting worse she needed to go onto oxygen, she was being sick and choking after the tube feeds and going for chest X-rays etc and tbh I just totally lost track of time and before I even blinked it seemed to have gone from 6am to midday.
I called mil who went to the school she was about 20 minutes late.

The head of the early years was very rude to mil ( who hadn't actually done anything wrong herself and I did explain to her on the phone

OP phoned her mil, not the school. Perfectly reasonable.

Midnite, would you seriously make that comment if you'd been told that the problem arose because a baby was hospitalised and very ill? And would you make the comment to the person who was helping out at the last minute rather than the parents whose responsibility it actually is?

I would sympathise, and I would try and gently question if there were arrangements made for the child to be picked up other days whilst the baby was sick - eg, could I see if a place was available in after-school care on a temporary basis, would they like me to ask around and see if there was another parent who would help with pick ups or some play dates. I certainly wouldn't be rude about it, but I do have my own child who needs to be picked up, so I would want to know that it wasn't going to be a daily occurrence while the child was ill and that they do need to think about the situation and put arrangements in place.

I understand it was your mistake, OP, and that you have never been late before, and that your child is very poorly. I get all that. And I also get that the nursery teacher was probably really annoyed at having to wait 20 mins when she should be getting her break before the next session. I don't think she was annoyed at your or your mil personally, more at the situation...I suspect you were one of a lot of late comers, and got the brunt of it. I also don't think it sounds like she was making a comment about your family. It sounds like the sort of thing I or my colleagues would say meaning that there is a lot of them ( ill children)about.

It is very annoying at the end of a school day to be left with children and no word as to the fact that someone is running late. There are people who are regularly late and think we are some kind of babysitting service, and that an extra 15 minutes " won't hurt". However, if there is an ongoing problem we would try and sort something out ,as long as we know about it in advance,so that cover can be arranged.

I wouldn't take it to heart, just give them a phonecall if you or mil are/are going to be delayed next time, so that they are aware of what is happening.

If a parent who is never late is suddenly late without word, I'd be concerned, not annoyed and wittering about my break.