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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To, um, cancel Christmas?

109 replies

teahousecandle · 04/12/2015 18:15

Obviously not entirely!

Just the same, I'm more broke than the Ten Commandments and I keep reading that you should never prioritise Christmas or other events over basic payments that need to be made.

So - WIBU to buy my eldest (9) a small gift (under £30) and make that it? It's about the spirit right? (PS not a begging thread.)

OP posts:
Pobspits · 05/12/2015 00:41

That's fine !! She's getting a tablet from you and presents from her dad!! Personally I'd get the wee one something though even just some balloons in a box or a helium balloon or something.

BackforGood · 05/12/2015 00:47

I'm not sure how giving a 9 yr old a £30 gift, equates in any way to cancelling Christmas. My (teen) dc will only be having that sort of amount spent on them, and that's normal - we no longer consider ourselves to be broke, or hard up in any way Oh, and that's from us as a couple, they don't get separate ones from NRP. Confused

Pedestriana · 05/12/2015 01:29

Our spend will be around £30 on DD this year, same as last year. I get that children want stuff, but if you can't afford it (we can't) then they don't get it.

What they need is a roof over their head, food, love, etc. What they want is often a load of plastic crap that's overpriced.

I've just been out with a group of people who're telling me they're spending around £120 per child. That's my total spend for the whole family (IL's included) so to me it's ludicrous.

The kindle sounds great, and the 18 month old will not be bothered. You can always make the day special with things to do; perhaps stuff you don't normally do, like eating chocolates at breakfast time, popcorn and a movie on Tv, and so on.

Gruntfuttock · 05/12/2015 02:18

ChristinaParsons How on earth does what you describe i.e. "I will spend £50 each on my 2 girls, and we will have Xmas lunch just the 3 of us and that's it" equate to 'not doing Christmas'? Confused

Seriously, what more could you do that would mean that you are doing Christmas?

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 07:25

Oh I don't know Back, I guess it's hard to know really what others do. All I know is I'm only buying one gift as that's all I can afford which doesn't feel very Christmassy as everyone else is going mad over buying presents!

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fairyqueen · 05/12/2015 07:45

Are there any hand me downs from DD that are coming up to the right age for the little one? Why not wrap them up with DD, then she gets the fun of the giving as well as the receiving. She could choose from her outgrown toys what she thinks her sibling might like.

fairyqueen · 05/12/2015 07:46

Is your mobile on O2? They are giving away wrapping paper today to customers, I think.

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 07:48

I don't really have anything left from when dc1 was that age as I thought she was going to be an only! Grin

The kids will get presents, just not from me which does make me feel a bit rubbish but can't really be helped and hopefully next year things will be different.

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SoupDragon · 05/12/2015 07:57

You are being perfectly reasonable and totally sensible :)

Free stuff like the tailor made vouchers are a good idea.
Put together a baking kit in a jar/bag if you already have the ingredients for gingerbread cookies maybe.

For the 18 month old, you can make large quantities of play dough very cheaply (flour, water, food colouring, cream of tartar, oil I think). Poundland may have cutters if you don't already have some you can wrap up!

awfullyproper · 05/12/2015 09:29

I'm spending very little through choice. I don't want lots more stuff in the house and hate the extreme capitalism and pressure to spend, spend, spend.
We'll have stockings, a couple of small presents and a nice dinner, then a bit of cake in front of the telly.

awfullyproper · 05/12/2015 09:33

Posted too soon...
Charity shops and ebay are good. I'm also doing a book of vouchers like a previous poster. There are lots of examples of this online.

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 12:06

Thank you. I found a doll this morning in the hospice shop so dc2 will like that I'm sure. Christmas sorted ... Hmm Smile

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JugglingFromHereToThere · 05/12/2015 12:23

Aww, that sounds sweet teahouse
I once picked up a few dolls in national costume for DD's birthday from a charity shop, when she was a bit older than your little one.
She has always loved those Xmas Smile

DieDeutschLehrerin · 05/12/2015 12:26

Does your mobile contract need renewing? I've just got a new phone from Carphone Warehouse with a £50 voucher for Curry's which bought me a Kindle fire. Contract is £18.50 pcm. I think you could do a cheaper deal if you're not wedded to the phone you want or your provider.

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 12:27

Thanks, I'm tied into my contract until January 2017 but a nice suggestion

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fuzzpig · 05/12/2015 12:54

Not Christmas related but for when your contract is up, consider giffgaff - no obligation or contract, just 'goodybags' of minutes and texts. If you have the actual phone already (would need to be 'unlocked' though) it's really cheap - I only pay a fiver a month, a massive saving compared to the contracts we used to have

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 13:04

Thanks I will do :)

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RandomMess · 05/12/2015 13:05

It's only in the last few years we've had the money to spend at Christmas.

When they were younger the budget was £40 each max but usually less for a couple of them and all gifts would be pretty much 2nd hand birthdays and Christmas.

The eldest was 13/14 before the budget went up to £75ish and this year is the first time we're more around the £120 each.

We do have 4 DC though but had we had fewer the budget per head would have been the same I think spending hundreds is just unnecessary. Mainly we have more money now because we've moved and halved our mortgage.

Certainly our dc seem to care more about the Christmas Tree going up, pigs in blankets to eat and stockings than anything else!

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 13:27

That's just the problem though as I can't afford any of that stuff.

The present is it, I can't afford a tree, or special food or even a few silly stocking fillers. Obviously they'll get it somewhere else. But giving my children one present each and nothing else does feel mean even though I'm not doing it to be mean.

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Artandco · 05/12/2015 13:45

Do you have a park/ woods near you?

Each year I let mine gather stuff to decorate house at Xmas. We do have a tree also but they love collecting stuff. You can get some nice pieces of holly to go along fireplace or bookshelves or in centre of table. Same with pine cones, pieces of fir tree etc.
You can get them to collect large curved sticks and put in a vase or pot and decorate with homemade decorations

Teach them especially oldest how to make paper cut snowflakes and paperchains. Can stick them on windows and around home.

You can make snowflake cut napkin just by cutting a piece of kitchen roll, which you can add at breakfast to make festive, along side cut green foliage. Let them have something they don't usually for breakfast Xmas morning. You could cut a Nutella sandwich into a star for example. Put festive music on in the morning and dance.

Could play o and x and hangman with eldest Xmas morning. Just need paper and pen

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 13:47

They don't live with me art

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Artandco · 05/12/2015 13:47

Here's some Simple ideas

www.mirror.co.uk/money/11-free-christmas-decoration-ideas-6952141

CheesyNachos · 05/12/2015 13:53

for reasons too boring to go into we never celebrated Christmas in the traditional manner when I was growing up. A nice lunch with fave food (usually as a picnic to be honest, so hot chocolate in a flask, yummy sandwiches and a piece of cake) and a teeny tiny present (a much-wanted book) was as good as it got. And it was wonderful.:)

I go OTT now, but I have very happy memories of our Christmas picnics.

RandomMess · 05/12/2015 13:54

You are not being mean!!!! You are giving them what you can afford that is so important to them...

I meant putting the stockings up and then taking the present out again - not a stocking full of tat in addition to presents.

Do something with them whether it be playing games or baking/cooking it was do the stuff like that making it special. Making decorations out of old cards and paper chains!!!! Can tell you how if you don't know?

Original poster
teahousecandle · 05/12/2015 13:59

Thank you, it's good people don't think they'll have a horrible Christmas. I really hope not :)

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