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Original poster

Workplace bullying, stress and facebook

75 replies

ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:11

Talk Employment issues
Workplace bullying and facebook1
Today 14:47 ForeverLivingMyArse

It's a long story but basically I'm signed off my work with work related stress and am starting formal proceedings against the manager for bullying and harassment.

She's the only and overall manager and I've had to go to our board with my complaints, small place with 14 members of staff.

I've had my manager as a fb friend from when before she was my manager. I felt it was innaproproate especially recently but feared a backlash from her if I removed her. I hid her from my news feed and added her to limited profile so she couldn't see anything I done in fb.

As I'd feared she questioned me about this. I went off not long after that.

I have a few other members of staff in fb. Last week was our Christmas night out, I didn't go. My manager posted and tagged mutual friends on fb thanking them for a great night out and how lucky she was to work with such a great bunch of people. hmm

I thought fair enough she can post what she's like but its a bit innaproproate given I'm not the only one signed off with stress directly related to the way she treats us.

I let it go

Last night she's posted and tagged mutual friends in a post with a picture which says 'if you think I'm mental you should see my work mates'

No one has replied.

I've screen shot it.

Am I being over sensitive or am I right in thinking this just isn't appropriate as manager when 2 of your staff are off with stress?

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:34

She's messed with my head so much I barely know which way is up and I don't trust her an inch after the things she's done.

I was actually scared to delete her and knew she'd say something, which she did. That isn't why I went off but it was just before it. I've never been around someone so poisonous and its skewed my thinking.

I just wasn't sure if this was worth bringing into my complaint.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:35

I think you need to remind yourself that not everything is about you. Just unfriend her! How is that more provocative than starting formal complaints proceedings against her? Honestly.

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:38

Formal proceedings have only recently began.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:40

Bit once she finds out she'll be pissed of anyway, so what do you have to lose?

Enjolrass · 04/12/2015 15:42

I can't imagine she is going to are about FB given there are formal proceedings happening.

It's the least of her problems.

Unfriend her.

You could add it to your complaint, the 'mental' bit, but it's not going to help you if you start saying you knew she did it on purpose so you would see it.

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:43

She's not a friend on fb anymore, is that what you're getting at?

I still see what she tags mutual friends in.

I did feel, before I went off sick, unable to delete her because of her reaction. She did react when I hid my profile from her.

OP posts:
Stimpack · 04/12/2015 15:45

How did she know that you hid her profile?

TheWitTank · 04/12/2015 15:47

Agree that once these proceeds begin, she presumably isn't going to want to be your 'friend' anyway. Save yourself the stress. Because of your history together, you will end up seeing digs in every comment or picture she posts, even if they really have nothing to do with you at all.

TheWitTank · 04/12/2015 15:48

X post. If she isn't your friend anyway, just block her. No problem there.

Waltermittythesequel · 04/12/2015 15:48

Does she know you've started proceedings against her?

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:50

She tried to write on my wall and couldn't and ask why i had blocked her off my page.

She then assumed, rightly, that I hadn't been seeing her posts as when she hurt her foot she'd obviously put it all on fb and when I asked what had happened she asked if I hadn't been on Facebook.

OP posts:
TonySopranosVest · 04/12/2015 15:50

I never have people I work with on FB. I think that separation is very important.

Sorry to hear what you've been going through. Workplace bullying is awful. Flowers

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:51

Yes proceedings have started an she's aware as of Tuesday

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:51

Her asking is not unreasonable in the normal course of things.

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:52

It's a mistake I won't be making again.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:53

What's a mistake? Confused

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:53

You don't think so?

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:53

Oh, adding work friends.

Original poster
ForeverLivingMyArse · 04/12/2015 15:53

Having work people on fb

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 15:57

I wouldn't do it, personally.

Waltermittythesequel · 04/12/2015 15:58

You see it sounds perfectly reasonable.

Wanting to write on your wall and not being able to and asking what's up. Reasonable.

Going on on a work night/finding a funny work meme and tagging work people in it. Reasonable.

Now I know that that might not be the case since she's been bullying you but from an outsider perspective you don't want to seem as though you're exaggerating or looking for stuff that isn't there IYSWIM.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 04/12/2015 16:00

You've posted about this woman before haven't you and you were stressing about her facebook posts then too.

Seriously I think you are allowing this whole thing to get way out of proportion and you are starting to sound a bit paranoid. I think it would be best if you just unfriended her or preferably blocked her altogether - you should have done it ages ago. Your work problems and your personal life should be kept completely separate, especially in light of the grievance procedure that's going on. It really is inappropriate and unhealthy to have this overlap and it makes everyone involved look a bit silly and unprofessional to be honest.

manana21 · 04/12/2015 16:00

i wouldn't have work friends on fb either and I would have deleted her when proceedings were launched. I'd also unfriend the mutual friends (you can message and explain you don't want to see any work related updates due to your stress levels) so you don't see anything work related via facebook.

Enjolrass · 04/12/2015 16:01

If you block her, I believe even stuff she posts tagging your friends into won't show.

I may be wrong. I don't really go in fb that much.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 04/12/2015 16:01

from an outsider perspective you don't want to seem as though you're exaggerating or looking for stuff that isn't there IYSWIM.

Absolutely agree.