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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think all babies should be DNA tested at birth

314 replies

ohagape · 04/12/2015 10:25

After reading that awful thread in step parenting where the poor guy wasn't even his 'sons' father and handed loads of money over to the horrible sounding mother, I really think all babies should be DNA tested as soon as they are born with the potential father/s, whether from a good relationship or not.

It would save a lot of heartbreak and wasted time and money. It can easily be told by blood types. My whole life my mum told me I had a different blood type. Then when I found out at my booking bloods and told her she got really confused about my dad's blood type. I really thought my dad wasn't my dad so he went and did a DNA test to reassure me. AIBU to think this should be a routine thing at all births and father's name shouldn't be on the birth certificate until it's done?

OP posts:

zoobaby · 04/12/2015 11:29

kungfu I hear it's a bargain at about £40. Maybe you could get a bogof deal?

ShelaghTurner · 04/12/2015 11:31

WTF? No thanks. I also am trusted by my husband and father of my children. And quite honestly, even if someone is lying about parentage, that's their business. Or what about the man who takes on another man's child knowingly and willingly, to then be confronted at the birth FFS, by the fact that this child isn't actually his. It's nonsensical.

Spidertracker · 04/12/2015 11:32

I always find it amazing that people don't know who the father of their child is.
Do you remember that American talk show 'Maury' a woman would come on and say 'I don't know who my baby's daddy is' then it turned out they had already DNA tested 10 and the 4 she brought today weren't the father either. Surely there isn't time to sleep with that many men in the few days you are fertile.
As for DNA testing at birth, I would have been insulted if it was suggested to me. I know exactly who my children's father is and I expect I am in the majority.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 04/12/2015 11:33

My blood type is A. One of my DC is also A.

According to the table the father of my DC should have blood type A, AB, B or O.

I don't know DH's blood type, but I'd say there's a 100% chance that he has one of those four types... There's also a 100% chance that any random man picked off the street would have one of those blood types too!

I live in the real world. I don't know anyone at all who has had any concerns over their DC's paternity, which I would say is representative of the majority of families. I'm actually bloody offended that a couple of the PPs seem to think that because their mothers had no moral standards, I, by dint of being a woman, am also untrustworthy, may well have committed adultery, and my DC should be subjected to having their DNA tested.

M1nniedriver · 04/12/2015 11:36

Although I don't agree with the OPs idea, this What harm does having the wrong Dad on the Birth Cert do as long as everyone's happy (and/or ignorant)? is a ridiculous statement . If a man is duped into paying for a child that isn't his, I'd suggest it is an issue!

DrDreReturns · 04/12/2015 11:36

If we make sure we have all men's DNA in a database so the father can be identified then this makes logical sense

You need the mother's DNA too

WizardOfToss · 04/12/2015 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paintandbrush · 04/12/2015 11:48

nah. I'm sure the majority are perfectly honest with their OHs. Seems a bit unnecessary unless there was some doubt with conception dates.

BondJayneBond · 04/12/2015 11:57

It would be ridiculously expensive to do DNA tests on all newborns just to determine paternity.

And the blood groups thing isn't really all that much help for lots of people, especially if the potential fathers have the same blood group. I think almost 50% of the population are group O, and something like 40% are group A.

Thundercrackers · 04/12/2015 11:57

No way I hate this idea! I love my husband and don't want to cheapen our relationship to pointlessly prove something we both know to be true anyway. People can sort their own shit out if they have to, no need to drag everyone else into it.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/12/2015 11:59

This post is so stupid my brain has melted. OP, are you a man?

helenahandbag · 04/12/2015 12:02

What harm does having the wrong Dad on the Birth Cert do as long as everyone's happy (and/or ignorant)?

This is an odd statement. My good friend is a single mum who was casually sleeping with two men at the same time when she got pregnant with her daughter. The dates overlapped and though her daughter is biracial, both men are Nigerian so there's no way to tell who her dad is. Despite knowing all of this, my friend told one categorically that he is the dad and the man has spent a lot of time and money flying back and forth from Nigeria to the UK to visit his "daughter" he can't live here because he was on a student visa that expired when she was six months pregnant.

Not her finest moment, I'll admit.

mrsjanedoe · 04/12/2015 12:03

YABU. If parents want paternity tests they should pay for it themselves. NHS money should be used to treat sick people.

that.

Unless you wait until the family comes home to we make sure the family brings the correct baby and he/she hasn't been swapped at birth, so you check the DNA of the father AND the mother?

(of course I don't mean that!!!)

kungfupannda · 04/12/2015 12:04

kungfu I hear it's a bargain at about £40. Maybe you could get a bogof deal?

It would have to be a 3 for the price of 2 when this next one makes an appearance!

Lweji · 04/12/2015 12:07

If a father doubts paternity, the can easily get the baby's DNA and his own and test it (NOT WITH BLOOD TYPES).

Surely there isn't time to sleep with that many men in the few days you are fertile.

Well, you don't know her occupation.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/12/2015 12:09

yabu

what if there's a mistake and ot destroys the family.

there have been cases of mums despite bring seen giving birth, due to sone weird rare circumstance (chimerism I think its called where the parent has two sets of dna from an absorbed twin or something) excuse spelling, the mum appears to not even be the mum.

imagine how many families who had love and trust and a whole future ahead of them could be ripped apart.

there are so many outcomes that could destroy people.

so no.

it's not right that everyone is treated as a liar

Gazelda · 04/12/2015 12:09

I bet Clintons would be up for the idea ...

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 04/12/2015 12:12

Like the vast majority of parents, I know for a fact that dh is the father of my babies. He knows this too, and not because of a dna test.

No, I don't think the NHS should have to waste an unnecessary fortune because of a minority. You are being ridiculous.

Brokenwardrobe · 04/12/2015 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wasonthelist · 04/12/2015 12:14

helenahandbag

You say my statement about having the wrong Dad on the birth cert is "odd" and then go on to detail someone's misdeeds. I accept that harm may be being done in that case - but not sure if you're advocating the OP's idea?

DinosaursRoar · 04/12/2015 12:17

Why would the state care if a man supporting a child is that child's biological father or not?

Put it another way, if the figure of 20% of men raising someone else's child is correct, and we assume that a large % of those aren't men raising DCs concieved using donor sperm (and so aren't perfectly happy and aware the child is not biologically theirs), then that's 20% of the children in this country who are being paid for and supported by another adult, which if he was absolved of the responsibilty, it would fall to the state, so why would it be in the tax payers interest to spend millions of pounds in order spend many more millions in benefits?

Anyway, the obvious solution is to not have children with someone you can't trust and not to assume that biology is what makes a father. (There's an army of Dads now who's DCs were concieved using donor sperm who would be most angry at the suggestion they are any less of that child's Dad because it's another man's DNA that's been passed on - and that being a father is so much more than who pays.)

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/12/2015 12:18

also, this could push women to give birth home alone or not register with drs or refuse to get medical treatment fir their babies and children resulting in tragic outcomes all to avoid an abusive ex partner.

LovelyFriend · 04/12/2015 12:19

This is one of the very worst suggestions/ideas I've ever read on MN.

for OP

BolshierAryaStark · 04/12/2015 12:20

What an absofuckinglutely ridiculous idea, YABVU.

DinosaursRoar · 04/12/2015 12:21

oh and there would have to be a waver option, because not everyone would want it. My DCs are DH's, I've not slept with anyone else since I met him (a very long time ago now!). If he hadn't agreed to waver a DNA test at birth, then I think our marriage would be in serious trouble (and it's unlikely they'd be a DC2).

I wouldn't want to be married to a man who didn't trust me.

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