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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tired of hearing about being a mummee

54 replies

pullofthemoon · 03/12/2015 19:42

One of my colleagues is a mummy.

She invests a great deal in this especially around Christmas. She is very into Elf on the shelf and every day I hear about elf on the shelf. I also hear about her DS and his Christmas and the boring hilarious things he has said and done and ... I'm bored!

Is there a nice way of saying 'wind your neck in, no one cares'?

OP posts:
LookAtMeGo · 03/12/2015 20:40

Confused back to you, love

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/12/2015 20:44

One of my dc asked me what Elf on The Shelf was today. I said it's what the over invested better mummies do and that he'd be lucky to see Santa.

Think I got away with it... Wink

KERALA1 · 03/12/2015 20:45

To be fair my dcs afore the elf. Though agree boring on about is off.

Have returned to office work I never mention dc to my child free colleagues would feel inappropriate

LittleLionMansMummy · 03/12/2015 20:57

Oh lordy, this could be me op. I don't do elf on a shelf but I do tell a lot of stories about ds. Nobody has objected though. And I am capable of having conversations about other things. But ds is my greatest achievement in life and I'm very proud of him, as are most parents, so I do tend to 'bring him to work' with me a bit. I am wary of doing this though and have asked colleagues to tell me to stop if it's too much. They said they like it and it brightens their day. I have no reason to disbelieve them as they're not two-faced. I like hearing their stories too and we exchange anecdotes. I can imagine it could be quite wearing for some people though, I'm just fortunate that we all rub along together pretty well.

iklboo · 03/12/2015 21:06

I have a colleague who starts most conversations with 'I have children....' I have to restrain myself from asking her if she'd like a fecking Tufty badge for it.

jorahmormont · 03/12/2015 21:13

My team at my old job would often ask me about my daughter (I never really started conversations so they definitely weren't sick of hearing about her). My teammate got jealous/insecure/something and every time I answered a question about DD, she'd reply that her dog is exactly the same. Wasn't sad to leave, fed up of hearing "Oh yes, my mitzy moo (not the exact name but very similar) is so cheeky, she just smiles at me and gets away with everything!". She's a fucking cocker spaniel you nugget.

TudorTrace · 03/12/2015 21:14

I think chatting mostly about DC is fine, as long as you follow social clues of when someone is/isn't interested.

IceBeing · 03/12/2015 21:28

She's a fucking cocker spaniel you nugget if MN still did quote of the week I would nominate this...

Crazypetlady · 04/12/2015 00:26

I have always said my dog is my fluffier baby shameful I know but saying your dog is like someones child is something else.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 04/12/2015 00:39

Just interrupt every couple of minutes with a random question such as-
"Is there wine in this story? I like wine."
"Does the elf brush his teeth at night?My teeth squeak they're so clean."
"Yes impressive spelling test result, but can your DS kick my ass?"

She'll soon back away slowly Xmas Grin

spanisharmada · 04/12/2015 00:44

Distract her with stories of your child free life (I might be presuming there) I love to live vicariously through my child free friends.

mathanxiety · 04/12/2015 01:42

LOL Grin JorahMormont. I had one of those to contend with, only it was a cat.

The worst was a woman who never stopped moaning about her two small children, how tedious their conversation was, how much of a pita it was that they walked slowly, needed help with coats and shoes, had to have meals made for them all the little ordinary things that parents do when they have children; she resented it all so much and after a while when it became clear that her topic of conversation wasn't just a reflection of a bad day or rough patch at home it became quite painful to listen to. She didn't seem to enjoy work much either. I met the children years later through sports. They were lovely. Their dad clearly adored them, which was lucky because this woman was very cold towards them. Through the sports I met others who knew her we all shared the same view of her and felt sorry for her kids.

ComposHatComesBack · 04/12/2015 04:34

I really don't have a problem with people talking about their kids/partners/pets in conversation, but not to the exclusion of everything else and no five minute monologues about the latest 'hilarious' thing he or she did.

In all likelihood your pet, child, partner is quite mundane and run of the mill. They do not shit glitter and they are not Dorothy Parker in nappies.

'I have children....'

In my Masters seminar group I had a woman who would prefix all her comments in the seminar with 'Speaking as a mother.'

The course was about theory and method in modern history, so not even remotely connected to children or parenthood. She just seemed to think the fact she had working ovaries gave her opinions on the Annales School of History added moral weight.

SorryCantBeArsed · 04/12/2015 07:31

I work mainly with men, there are only three women and one of them has a young daughter. This time of year I get daily updates from one bloke on the elf front. Maybe I'm a bit odd but I like hearing about the elves adventures Blush

Girlwithnotattoos · 04/12/2015 08:28

My pet hate are the FB 'mummies' who post pictures of their children entitled 'my life' !! Don't get me wrong I love my children but there is more to me than just being a mother.

StarlingMurmuration · 04/12/2015 08:40

I and loads of my friends have had kids this year, and I'm so glad because it means we can all bore away at each other and spare our childfree/less friends. When you have a little child, you do kind of lose any part of you that is independent of them, for a while anyway.

ovenchips · 04/12/2015 08:52

You do, and my children are such a huge part of me and I do talk about them a fair amount. I also like hearing about other people's children.

But I think what OP is describing is something different. I have certainly encountered it and it is tedious in the extreme.

Didactylos · 04/12/2015 09:04

Im sorry, OP, but I misread your last post as
'shes a conventional leopard'
I really liked that image

Only1scoop · 04/12/2015 09:08

Yanbu

Nothing more dull than what you describe and if you hear it daily you have my sympathy.

Sonotkylie · 04/12/2015 09:43

Sorry. On behalf of all of us with limited conversation. Sorry.

I know I am guilty of this but I TRY, I really do (and its OK I definitely don't work with you - I don't work so can be sure of that). Can I suggest getting in first with a different topic. I would be really pleased. Anything. I developed a fascination with the Oscar Pistorius case with one friend. And I think you need to work on your 'this is boring me brainless' face, as its clearly not working.
And - elf on the shelf! Really? My mother did this with us in the late 60s. We had a home made number. Its an industry now? Get a grip. ( not strictly relevant to your post. Sorry again OP. See what I mean...)

Littleoddfeet · 04/12/2015 09:45

Oh thank god. I thought it was just me and I was just really, really mean!! I work for a tiny company - my colleague works from home and comes in for the odd day every few weeks. Not only does she only talk about her kids, she tells me the same boring stories every time AND puts on a teeny weeny 2 y/o DS voice. It makes my teeth itch

Littleoddfeet · 04/12/2015 09:46

Oh, and the EOTS thing is RIDICULOUS

ILiveAtTheBeach · 04/12/2015 09:51

Can you listen to an Ipod at work? What an absolute bore. I have a friend like this. Ever since her DD was born 17 years ago, she has had NO OTHER topic of conversation. It's so dull I could scream. I don't see her anymore. I just can't take it.

Daisysbear · 04/12/2015 09:58

Anyone who bangs on and on about the same thing, over and over is boring, self centred and annoying. I have a colleague who never stops talking about her extended family. No matter what the topic of conversation she will have an anecdote about a niece/nephew/uncle/cousin which she will tell slowly with lots of ums and ahs and in a very loud voice to make sure everyone is listening to her.

It gives me the rage Angry

LillianGish · 04/12/2015 10:18

Some people are very, very dull. Kids, cats, cycling, dieting - any obsessive. I think avoidance is the best measure - not always easy. Only alternative is to be quite blunt and risk hurting their feelings, hard if you have to see them everyday, even worse if you work in close proximity to them. Alternatively you could literally fall asleep which once happened to me when I was a student and had particularly tedious woman living on my corridor - unlikely to happen in the actual workplace, but perhaps over lunch if you are foolish enough to have lunch together.

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